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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 10 months ago

Before it's too late!

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Before it's too late!

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 10 months ago
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  • NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de
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    10 months ago

    Based on that photo I expected the woman lessons to be “fight, bleed, groan” too.

    • The Assman@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      They already know how to do those things, right boys!?

      I’m sorry

    • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I was ready for the second half. I was disappoint.

  • loomi@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I fight bleed and groan monthly 🤷‍♀️

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      that’s why you don’t need to be taught those things. you need lessons on long hair and pink

      • tpihkal@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Women, smh. Do we have to explain everything‽

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I fight, bleed and groan every time I go to the toilet.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    That phone # is for a Denny’s in LA too.

    “Hi, can you teach my daughter to long hair?”

    “Sir, this is a Denny’s.”

  • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Why do men need to learn to groan? Are they giving birth?

    • FiveMacs@lemmy.ca
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      10 months ago

      I think they meant grunts

      • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Never have I heard someone quite as well capture the appropriate sound to make when you’ve achieved “yeah sex is great but have ya…” for gushing over all the specs that make something you’re showing off so awesome.

        It works for cars, it works for stereo systems, it works for a new smoothie blender, it even works for the wildly unhealthy recipe you invented that’s dripping the most decadent yet delicious shit you could cram into it before serving it to your friends like you make Gordon Ramsey look like a Killer Cook.

        • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Maybe, but have you ever heard anyone else do it? Would YOU do it? If you heard a friend excitedly Tim Allen grunt, would you ever really look at them the same?

          • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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            10 months ago

            Yes yes and yes.

            It’s a fuckin’ good grunt!

    • ccunning@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Sounds like something someone who doesn’t know how to PINK would ask…

  • rustydrd@sh.itjust.works
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    10 months ago

    I’m a man, and I’d like to learn how to pink.

    • meleethecat@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      No! You must blue!

      • tpihkal@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I blue myself!

      • Dasus@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Blue used to be for girls as it was seen as more “dainty,” while pink used to be associated with boys as it was seen as the stronger color. It didn’t change until the 1950s when some big advertising campaigns pushed pink as a feminine color exclusively for girls.

        • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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          10 months ago

          Red was the manly color, it was seen as regal. So light red (pink) was the color of the boys. Blue was the color of the virgin Mary and light blue used for femal children.

          • Dasus@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Purple is usually what’s considered the royal colour.

            https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple

            Purple has long been associated with royalty, originally because Tyrian purple dye—made from the secretions of sea snails—was extremely expensive in antiquity.

            Basic reds, not as much, but yes. The brighter, the more royal.

            • MeThisGuy@feddit.nl
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              10 months ago

              can’t you just mix blue and red to make purple though?

        • PixellatedDave@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Yeah pink was man’s colour because it is the colour of just cooked steak.

          • Dasus@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            I… I don’t think that’s the reason why.

            Pink isn’t sort of actually a colour. Well, it is, but there’s no wavelength of light that corresponds to pink. We perceive pink when we see a certain combination of wavelengths together (red and purple.)

    • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      You are in luck. Pink was a verb before it was a color.

    • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      It’s super easy, you just use pinking shears!

    • ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      10 months ago

      Take off your skin.

  • pelletbucket@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    feels like something the boys from Always Sunny posted

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOPM
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      10 months ago

      “It’s a bicep!”

    • herrvogel@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      He teaches to groan. NOTHING SEXUAL.

    • root@lemmy.zip
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      10 months ago

      Needs more veins

  • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Man I should offer lessons on adulting. Lesson 1, nobody is doing it well, everyone is faking. Lesson 2, we’re all jealous that you’re still a child, milk that shit. Lesson 3, stop listening to old man complain, go have fun.

    I think that’s worth a hundred dollars right?

    • Venator@lemmy.nz
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      10 months ago

      I think that’s called a “life coach”.

    • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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      10 months ago

      Throw in stuff like how to pay taxes, change a flat tire, and what an APR is, and you have a good class going

      • Maggoty@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Oh if we have to go over taxes then I’m going to have to charge another 100, maybe as an extra day kind of thing? A real life DLC?

    • Snowclone@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      deleted by creator

  • Freefall@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Jokes on us, they are just scamming MAGAs for 1000s a session

  • HikingVet@lemmy.ca
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    10 months ago

    This seems like a trap of some sort and people in general shouldn’t be left alone with either of them individually or at the same time.

    • tourist@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Yeah, If I had kids, I would keep them as far away as possible from these people.

      I’m no doctor, but that man is absolutely experiencing some kind of steroid-induced mania.

      Otherwise, if it’s not real, it’s an excellent shitpost.

    • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Someone reported that the number is for an L.A.'s Denny’s. As if the “pink” wasn’t a flag that it was a joke.

  • Aniki 🌱🌿@lemmings.world
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    10 months ago

    Can that dude BE on any more steroids?

    • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Yes, yes, there’s always room for max growth. If he really juices it up and eats a couple cows per day, he can get to that next level. Beefcaaaaaake!

    • SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      I for one support him on his gender affirming medical procedures.

    • ඞmir@lemmy.ml
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      10 months ago

      Not without his heart exploding

  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    As long as they don’t offer to teach poster design…

  • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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    10 months ago

    Whats funny to me is people who want for their kids something they see inadequate in themselves. Like obviously as a man you can’t teach your kids to be a man then you must not know how…

    • BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I kinda feel like that’s the entirety of good parenting. Some things have higher or lower priorities, but ideally, I want my children to be more competent than me in everything I know how to do and more.

      • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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        10 months ago

        I see that as a recipe for failure. Expectations are fine but when you expect for from someone else than you do yourself. Well that hypocrisy and will lead to either hate or neroticism. Every parent should just want their kids to be happy.

  • halvar@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    **pink**

    • crusa187@lemmy.ml
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      10 months ago

      How you do that?!

      • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        Sounds like you could use some lessons

      • Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Lmao they don’t know how to pink…

      • halvar@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Do what?

    • Rayspekt@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      “beach”

  • Dasus@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I’d like to know what happens if someone signs onto both lessons.

    I have a feeling they wouldn’t appreciate it.

  • niktemadur@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Offer expires… now.

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