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PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

If I wanted to, hypothetically, guarentee that I shit my pants 2 to 6 hours from now, how should I do it?

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If I wanted to, hypothetically, guarentee that I shit my pants 2 to 6 hours from now, how should I do it?

PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • Match!!@pawb.social
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    1 year ago

    We found the villain to the no-poop-for-three-days story

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    Stuff marshmallows up your butt. The glycerine in them will make you evacuate your bowels within 10 minutes as they dissolve.

    • spare_muppets@lemmy.ca
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      I can’t stop laughing from thinking about someone stuffing marshmallows up their ass.

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        1 year ago

        <insert mark as NSFW train copypasta>

      • over_clox@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        You’ve tried it too? I got to 31, then farted…

        My girlfriend wasn’t impressed.

        • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          sounds like cloudseeding

    • wabafee@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Is this speaking from experience?

    • MrNesser@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I kinda want to try this to see if it’s true but also ewww

    • Nightwatch Admin@feddit.nl
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      1 year ago

      nobody:
      klysma kinkers: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      This, plus your username backwards, makes me think this is the voice of experience.

    • 𝓒𝓸𝓼𝓶𝓸𝓬𝓻𝓪𝓽@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      A banana or 3 is more ergonomic and has the same effect.

    • olutukko@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      this is true. don’t ask how I know

  • edric@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Eat a bag of sugar-free gummy bears or a half gallon of sugar-free ice cream. Another option as one other comment mentioned are those unregulated asian slimming teas that have questionable ingredients. The safest and most practical solution is a laxative used for colonoscopy prep.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Sugar free gummy bears will make you shit your pants in 2 hours. And in 3 hours. And in 4 hours. Etc.

  • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    RemindMe! 6 hours “reply to this thread”

    • NightAuthor@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You asked for a reminder to: reply to this thread

      • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Thanks. Try mineral oil.

        • NightAuthor@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Orally, anally, both?

          • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Orally. It can take 6 hours for a bowel movement.

    • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I hope that stupid bot doesn’t exist here

  • Glifted@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    There’s this stuff they give you before a colonoscopy. I don’t know what it’s called but it will get the job done

    • VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Movieprep or kleenprep. I’ve had both and one definitely worked for me and the other only kicked in the morning off my endoscopy.

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        There’s these which are prescription only, but you can also down a bottle of magnesium citrate as an OTC alternative.

        • lefty7283@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Good ol magnesium shit-rate

        • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          And as a bonus, the taste of magnesium citrate doesn’t make you gag like the prescription stuff.

  • SendPicsofSandwiches@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Milk of magnesia. You can get it at basically any drug store and it will make you fucking BLAST.

  • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Sprite and magnesium citrate. A dose takes about 30 minutes to work, so if you dilute it in a 20 ounce bottle it should hit at about the 2 hour mark depending on how your body reacts.

    • real_ted_yogurt@lemmy.world
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      This is the stuff to use, but I don’t think diluting will work like this. I recommend taking it, with a bit of sprite 30 minutes before showtime.

      Stay hydrated!

    • hactar42@lemmy.world
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      I lost 7.5 lbs in one night due to that stuff. I went to the doctor because I kept having diarrhea. Turns out I was so constipated the only thing that could make its way out was liquid. I drank a bottle of that stuff and 45 minutes later…well…you know that one scene from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, that was me for like an hour and half straight.

    • LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Hopefully the shortage isn’t still going on. There was a huge shortage a couple years ago and I couldn’t get it anywhere. Had to resort to an enema to prep for my surgery.

      • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        My local Walmart has it for $1.47 in grape, cherry, and lemon. Looks like Walgreens has it too!

        • LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Don’t get the lemon. It’s way too strong of a flavor lmao

  • Usernamealreadyinuse@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Ok so i think it is cool everybody answers the question…

    But why PenisWenisGenius? Why do you need this information?

    • PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.comOP
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      Just asking for a friend 😇

      • Agosagror@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Which friend and why do they need it

        • PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.comOP
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          They need it for anal reaaons

          • Hanrahan@slrpnk.net
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            1 year ago

            If they’re looking for a nice long butt fucking, why not an enema ?

    • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net
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      Based on the answer you got we need to consider that everyone answering has become complicit in, if not crimes, at the very least japery.

  • Plum@lemmy.world
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    Salt water flush. You will shit continuously for two hours as your body tries to rid you of a dangerous amount of salt.

    • snooggums@midwest.social
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      During this window, farts are lies!

    • DigitalDruid@lemmy.sdf.org
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      deleted by creator

      • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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        Holy shit, that ratio

        • Plum@lemmy.world
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          The jar says add 1tsp to 8 oz water.

          A liter is 33.8 fl.oz.

          33.8 oz ÷ 8 oz = 4.2 tsp.

          Half a cup is 24 tsp.

          This is too many.

    • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world
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      Am Crawfish, can confirm

  • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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    Hairbo sugar free gummy bears

    • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      They said 2-6 hrs. Not 2-6 min

      • MadMaurice@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 year ago

        Just wait 2 hours before eating.

  • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org
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    Just take laxatives 30 minutes prior to needing to shit your pants?

  • DocMcStuffin@lemmy.world
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    Not sure if they’re still available, but gummy bears made with Lycasin guarantee explosive results.

  • over_clox@lemmy.world
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    Just relax homie, you got this. 💩

  • kindenough@kbin.social
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    You should ask Ted Nugent, he is an expert

    • Anti_Iridium@lemmy.world
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      I’m very glad that him being a pants shitting draft dodger, and later bragging about how great of a special forces guy he would have been is general knowledge.

      • kindenough@kbin.social
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        Heh, a worldwide known fact. I am Dutch but when I read ‘shit + pants’ the answer always be that crusty pants mf.

  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    Cleansing tea from the local Asian Mart.

    Buckle up brother. Hope you don’t got plans later today.

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