Fuck me finally. It was a the only thing keeping me a chronic virgin.
Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.
And an open relationship is different then cheating.
Honestly, I think it’s high time we ditch old marriage laws in favor of much more individualized marriage contracts that are settled in civil court if they’re dissolved. Modern marriages are much more complex than traditional ones and our antiquated laws don’t deal with them well. We’d have to update laws/policies about hospital visiting, medical decisions, inheritance, etc, as well, but I think it would be worth it.
that’s the opposite of the point of these laws. the entire point of this and no fault divorce is that the state shouldn’t dictate relationships. how are you going to adjudicate cheating anyway?
I do wonder the legal definition used here. I hope the law doesn’t consider it cheating if you tell them about it first, regardless of if they say yes
Just my opinion, if my spouse (I’m not married) walks up to me and asks if they can sleep with someone else and I say no. Then they do it anyway. I would absolutely call that cheating. Then I’d call a divorce attorney. If I had to pay alimony after the divorce I’d be extremely bitter.
Your partner is not your property. They have the right to fuck who they want.
They dont have the right to endanger your health, which is why they need to tell you
In the context of the comment chain, you’re saying that a person who willfully violates a monogamous marriage vow should still be able to claim alimony in the event of a divorce, simply because they informed their spouse they were doing it?
Fuck that. What the hell are you thinking? Please tell me this isn’t what you mean.
There is absolutely a difference between having an open relationship where both parties consent, and having a relationship where one person just sleeps around, but it’s totally fine because the other was informed it was happening.
Your partner may not be your property, but that doesn’t mean that sleeping around just because you told them it was happening is ok.
Its not cheating if you tell them
That is definitely not how it works.
It’s* not
You used to have to prove adultery in order to get a divorce in New York state.
Family story time! My great-grandparents wanted to get divorced and were in New York, so my grandfather lay in a bed next to his mother-in-law under the covers and my grandmother took a photo to present to the courts. My great-grandmother apparently never even took off her coat.
That’s hilarious and somehow wholesome that everyone pitched in to get the separation
Woot to all the people that were horny but it was the legal system stopping them from cheating on their spouse.
I’m just waiting on incoming news about Hochul cheating on her husband.
I mean, fair, but doesn’t really seem like something worth the effort one direction or the other, doubt that law was being enforced much.
Nah, fuck that. If a law isn’t enforced it shouldn’t be a law. Things being illegal because it’s “too much effort” to make it legal is bullshit.
We should reduce as much as possible laws that make something illegal but aren’t enforced. It creates uncertainty about your position and allows authorities to threaten citizens for unrelated reasons.
That’s true but I imagine doing so would quickly become tedious and that initiative would inevitably be used for nefarious purposes.
What would become tedious, eliminating crimes from the books? I’m not saying we need to go on some campaign, just here’s a law that isn’t being used, isn’t just, and they’re getting rid of it. That’s good.
IIRC correctly the process for striking a law is more or less the same as making a new one, so for every single little antiquated thing and protest bill somebody got passed you’d have to do the same thing with all the associated foot stomping and bitching from anyone and everyone motivated to either stop you or do something else.
Remember that’s why a whole slew of anti-abortion laws were able to put back into place recently because they were just left on the books. Same for a lot of other laws involving interracial marriage, gay marriage, gay relationships in general, freedom of religion, Etc… these laws are usually left on the books because people hope they can be used again one day. Getting rid of them protects us all. I don’t care if it’s tedious.
Even if it is tedious, it is work that is worth doing.
It kinda should be IMO. If you can’t not be faithful, don’t fucking get married and be a cheating piece of shit.
You won’t get a lot of argument that cheating is a shitty thing to do but the government doesn’t need to be involved in peoples relationships.
Do you not see the issues with having the state enforce that?
It shouldn’t be enforced by the state
yeah great idea. criminalise everything. had your freedom to the state. the american dream
If you’re worried about the American dream I have shit loads of horrible news for you since you haven’t been paying attention for the last 40 fucking years apparently.
Being able to be a cheating shitbag with no consequences should be the least of your concerns at this point.
Yet somehow you’re arguing to make it worse.
Hope your life never gets destroyed by a cheater, enjoy your ignorance.
Ahhh
Now it makes sense.
If someone cheated on you. Go live your best life. Because there’s something else that commonly happens to guys if they don’t, and it seems to be what’s happening here
I don’t think anyone is saying that it’s ok and there should be no consequences, just that it’s not a matter for the law. The law isn’t really about what’s moral and immoral. There are plenty of immoral things that are legal and moral things that are illegal. I think it’s wrong to cut in line but I don’t think we should be locking people up for it. I also think in many cases stealing is morally justifiable but I don’t necessarily think we should make stealing legal.
I think it’s wrong to cut in line but I don’t think we should be locking people up for it.
IDK, you might be onto something here.
This is why we need to bring back stockades. Perfect punishment for that kind of shit. Just lock someone up in public let people deride them and throw vegetables at them all day and then let them go.
Pointing to other bad decisions to justify your bad decisions is a bad look no matter what, friend.
I was married, we had an open relationship from the start. How is that criminal?
That’s not cheating, that’s an open marriage. They’re two different things.
It would have been criminal under the law. I cheated, she cheated. It was the law, whatever agreement she and I had was immaterial.
That’s just how the system is. My wife and I are into bdsm. Legally speaking I’m guilty of spousal abuse because she legally can’t consent.
So we just ignore the law. But if we ever divorced acrimoniously she could rake me over the fucking coals.
Why she can’t consent? Is she underage wtf?
It must be a weird edge case. You can certainly consent to being beaten, humiliated, degraded, etc.
One thing you cannot consent to where I live is to be touched sexually while you are asleep. The moment you become unconscious (as though that were a thing with a clear, bright line definition) any sexual consent you have given is deemed to have been revoked. This seems rather paternalistic to me since you can consent to have your leg chopped off while you sleep, but whatever. There have been cases where police and crown prosecutors went after charges because someone talked about letting their husband have sex with them while they slept; ie they had moral consent but not legal consent, and so were charged with sex crimes over the protest of their willing partner.
A woman can’t consent to being hit in my state. Or at least that was the common consensus when we were social about it.
I just looked it up and some random website says it’s fine with consent so either the entire community was misinformed, something has changed, or that website was full of shit.
What about boxing or other contact sports?
You don’t have to be married to cheat. You are right, they are totally different things. Marriage is a legal status that has nothing to do with sex. Asexual people can get married. Two straight men can get married. People in open relationships can get married.
You want it to be illegal to cheat. That’s bonkers. How would that even work? Do you really want the state investigating your intimate relationships to make sure they are legal??
Why should only sexual intercourse get that kind of protection? If my partner and I swear that we will share our feelings with each other, and I find out that they have feelings they’ve been keeping from me but sharing with someone else, that is cheating. But as long as there isn’t a dick and a vagina involved, it’s okay? Like where do you draw your lines, and why do you want those lines enforced by men with guns?
Every couple that wants the legal rights grants by marriage must be monogamous whether they want to or not, because it gives you feelings that you are unwilling to process when confronted by committed but nonmonogamous relationships?
I’ve been cheated on and divorced. My ex was seeing a divorce lawyer lol. That was some fun times with depositions and constant harassment since they had 24/7 legal access.
Even with all that said, I don’t think cheating should ever be criminalized. Just gotta be careful who you marry or date. I still have never learned my lesson lol.
Yeah, Anyone who thinks cheating should be a crime isn’t emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship in my opinion. It’s a horrible thing to cheat on someone, but laws aren’t for hurt feelings.
If a married couple want to fuck around with other people, why should that be a crime?
If they’re in an open marriage, fine, whatever, but cheating destroys lives and should have consequences.
It does have consequences. You mean you want cheaters to be punished. That’s a different thing.
Clearly they were cheated on and want them to suffer.
The law makes no distinction between the two. Open marriage? More like 5 years in a federal penitentiary waiting to happen because a cop coveted your wife. It’s your word against their’s unless you want the state to issue permits for sex or something.
What you’re looking for is civil court, which is entirely different from criminal court and works differently as well. And that already exists for cheating on your spouse.
So you agree that it should have been repealed, then.
