Y’know, when I signed up for this back in June I had grand plans for some grand writeup on the domestically produced unmagnified gunsights of Cuba. I had collected images and info and sources but I lost sight of it as life stuff happened and my time for the trans mega snuck up on me.
Que sera sera.
Anyways, today felt like the first whisper (you have no idea how hard I just thought about the ideal word for this metaphor) of autumn and that put me in the mood for one of my favorite autumnal albums. More Constant Than the Gods by SubRosa is a really lovely doom? sludge? metal album. I like how big it sounds. The lead vocalist is a really talented lady, and its got violins, also the lyrics talk about dying and stuff and I’m into that. Its very fall-y to me, as is Standard Time Volume 1 by Wynton Marsalis, but for extremely different reasons.
The funny thing is that, like the poster of the previous mega it is also my 5th transiversary, I started HRT half a decade ago today (ok technically it was the 17th but I’m gonna count it since thats when I started writing this). Now, I don’t think that taking HRT was what made me “officially trans”, rather it was the degree of self acceptance required to get to that point. It’s a long story, and one I prefer to share privately, but it took a very, very long time before my fear and desperation gave me the strength to allow myself to have this. I think it all turned out pretty well, I experience existence in much higher fidelity, I’m this whole person, along with everything that entails.
I feel very blessed to be transgender.
I hope you all stay safe and have a good, or atleast tolerable week.
Join our public Matrix server!
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
guess who’s about to fly off the fucking handle if you don’t sign up to make a mega? this gal (imagine i put my fist thumb-first through drywall)
MoonElf (8/25 - 8/31) GayTuckerCarlson* (9/1 - 9/7) nemmybun (9/8 - 9/14) Eco* (9/15 - 9/21) Disaster_of_Passion* (9/22 - 9/28) Carcharodonna* (9/29 - 10/5) sodium_nitride* (10/6 - 10/12) peanutbuttercupola* (10/13 - 10/19) oscardejarjayes* (10/20 - 10/26) Wmill (10/27 - 11/2) Shaleesh* (11/3 - 11/9) peanutbuttercupola* (12/29 - 1/4) * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters
raises hand
I wanna go again! 11/3 - 11-9 please!
perfect, got you on!
yay! thank you!
you’re welcome, thanks for doing it
I have a new friend who is a cis woman who I’ve known for a few months. She was discussing with another new female friend of mine, how they’ve not shaved their legs for winter. I said oh I haven’t either but I’ve done laser and showed my legs under my skirt that had only some patchy hairs. both were like wow that’s less than I’ve got, we should try that etc
I also mentioned that finasteride, spironolactone, estrogen were all helping reduce my body hair too, as well as increasing my long thick head hair. The friend revealed she knew about those medications because she had alopecia that affected her head and presumably her long feminine hair is a wig (I wasn’t gauche enough to ask).
And I was like huh, I’m always comparing myself to cis women for my body issues, but cis women have their own body issues and battles going etc. We’re all subject patriarchal standards of beauty and femininity etc
Which has really helped a bunch of my brainworms
+1 on happy to be trans
Tarot just told me I’d find love in an unlikely place. I can’t think of anywhere more unlikely than Hexbear. So who is it?
We found love in a hopeless place
In a hopeless
I used to throw baraja every now and again for similar results, had a couple of friends find love on hexbear but you know
Wait are you telling me that this isn’t a fed 4 fed dating site?
It’s a big fed posting party it’s just that I wasn’t invited
- how do you do, fellow revolutionaries
I feel blessed to be trans too! Its the best thing that ever happened to me~ honestly if I could go back and redesign my life, okay maybe Id pick “figure out she’s trans” at way younger - but Id still pick being trans! I get to wake up every day as the gender I wanna be, of course Im happy about it!
I did the old style of social transition before HRT - I was lucky to find a doctor who did informed consent, so I could’ve got it way faster but I basically did a year of social transition anyway. Whatever makes sense for people to do first they should, even DIY, but I was pretty happy even as a very awkward not passing even a little out trans woman. HRT was even better of course! I was doing that in fucking nursing school, that was weird.
Being trans has been a gift for me, despite the many challenges. Proud to live life on my own terms. I hear you on figuring out sie was trans way younger, but in my case, I think I figured it out at just the juncture in my life where I could do something about it.
If I had known earlier, I do not think I could have done much about it, or been able to emotionally handle how difficult early transition can be.
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Awesome news! I’m applying for mine shortly too, while I can. I’ve got places to go.
OMG I HAD NO IDEA! That’s wonderful I gotta look into this, I have family to visit.
bleh
Clocking another trans person out in the world hits me with a unique cocktail of emotions. Initially, I brighten up - I feel like we exist, in spite of all the terrifying rhetoric around me. I feel proud. Then my focus shifts onto myself, and I feel deeply ashamed. My patches of facial hair are unshaven, my hair is long but unkept, and my outfit is chosen in denial of who I am. I feel like such a half-assed trans woman. I take the hormones but avoid doing the work or taking the risk. That shame is a constant hum in my mind, but roars when I’m in front of someone who shows up to take those risks every damn day. I feel like I’ve been assigned this duty to courageously press forward and express myself, both for myself and for others like me, and I fail every. single. day.
sad stuff
You’re not any less valid because of this. You have been attacked and repressed constantly. Being afraid of being yourself is not your fault, but the fault of people around you.
That said.
Same
And honestly, I think hiding stuff probably hurts you more than being yourself
Walk your own path comrade. One day you will find the courage to make the leap. Until then, prepare.
Family? Fuck family
Me: good thing happened!
Parent: nice, talks about how good thing is all gonna go away soon anyway, uses ableist slur
Me: gets upset, says to stfu, and lays out why that shit is wrong and why im upset
Parent: i dont deserve to be talked to like that.
wuffbisexual
bigender
vers
switchfuck you, i refuse to pick a side
Centrist
Picking a side
Picking no sides
Picking both sides !?
The options you give me are not satisfactory, I am choosing Communism whether you like it or not
True centrism
So where I am we do Pride in August, to mark the August 28, 1971 We Demand rally at Parliament; it was the first major queer rights action in Canada, so it serves a historical reminder of our own liberation movements rather than tying the queer narrative here to America’s history. This is something I think is actually really interesting, because so much of Canadian politics is tied up in American media that Canadians often have little to no idea about the history of social movements here. This can be dangerous, because it allows American narrative-building to supersede our own–erasing the struggles fought by people here, but also allowing social shifts in America to seamlessly integrate into the Canadian discourse.
Anyway, that same phenomenon also means that regardless of Pride being in August, June Pride is absolutely still celebrated here (because American media tells everyone this is Pride month, and much of the world has followed suit and celebrates Pride in June).
This results in Pride beginning in June, and then “officially” happening in August. No one wants to “de-Pride” the city in July only to have to “re-Pride” it in August, however, so what actually ends up happening is an entire Pride summer where from the end of May until the end of August the entire city is covered in Pride flags and people throw “Pride” events the entire time.
Basically my city the last few years has decided in gay summers, where the only part of the year with nice weather is entirely packed full of drag shows and queer karaoke. This also coincides with a country music festival, which had some friction at first but now all the country straights who come to do their rootin tootin yeehawing in the “big city” (the whole place is rural as hell, so the city is not “big”) just get blasted to shitty music and then go dancing to Chapelle Roan with the queens.
more t girl talking about her dick
after about 1 1/4 years HRT, I’m starting to feel like my dick just… not that it doesn’t belong, persay, but it doesn’t feel integral to my physical form anymore. It’s just this flap of skin dangling off the front of my pelvis that if i woke up without tomorrow, i probably wouldn’t notice for a solid hour or two. if my arms or fingers or feet or toes would gone i would notice but my dick could just up and disappear and i wouldn’t really notice it anymore
spoiler
I felt the same about my gock before transitioning and early in it. I never would’ve told you I had bottom dysphoria (I mean especially before cracking my egg lol). I figured out I did when one time while I was having sex with my ex I broke down and started crying “I dont want to fuck like a boy anymore” 😬 - they weren’t that much help emotionally, which among other reasons is why theyre my ex. But Im still a top! Way happier using toys and my strap otherwise gock gets used because other people find it appealing but it ain’t me. Id be open to “bottoming” (feels weird to call it that if youre using your vagina lol) after bottom surgery and even then Im doing it in the toppest way possible
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Being on hormones makes me jump from being snuggly and romance yearning to horny. Today is a romance and snuggles day, I just want my hand held and my forehead kisses right now. I wish my partner lived closer because it would just make me absolutely melt right now.
