The post in question
Someone needs to tell that mod that dad jokes aren’t for the kids.
If your 5-year-old can’t understand someone being gay then you’re a shit parent.
It really depends on the kid. Some 5 year olds just don’t give a fuck about any of that relationship shit and IMO it’s not so important that they need to be sat down and told all about all the attraction options. I don’t just mean the alternate ones but also man and woman.
If they ask questions or show interest in the topic, I think they should be answered honestly, but the only essential information at that age IMO is about personal space, not touching people who don’t want to be touched (at all if that’s their desire but especially in the private areas), understanding that they are the ones in charge of deciding if someone else touching them is ok (though at that age, it would be more of a “you don’t have you let anyone see or touch there unless it’s an emergency like it got hurt”), and that anyone asking them to keep secrets from their parents without it involving presents or a happy surprise isn’t their friend.
That said, there’s nothing wrong with this joke. Either it will go over the kid’s head and they ignore it or it will make them curious and prompt those questions. If you respond to those questions with deflections and/or lies, then I’d agree with the shit parent accusation. Same thing applies to not wanting certain topics visible at all for fear that kids might ask questions about them. That cowardice isn’t doing their kids any favours.
You can be honest about what sex is without giving the necessary details for them to act it out.
so a teenager’s dad cannot crack dad jokes anymore?
Nah, the sole mod for that comm is just a weirdo prude.
I bet a lot of teenagers going through the “my parents are the most cringetastic creatures in existence” phase would love for that to be the case 😁
“Of course their gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade, they got the discovery channel, don’t they?”. In most situations like this, pre-internet, your older cousins would say “You’ll find out when you’re older”.
Do we know what mod made this very homophobic decision, because I would like to know that they’ve been banned for this.
A reasonable reason to remove it was because it’s not a dad joke. A funny joke, but not a dad joke
While I somewhat agree, that wasn’t the reason given.
Right, I was trying to imply that their reason was bad
Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
I suppose this is the rule the mod refers to.
And well, I feel like there is a bit of a mix up going on here because the rule implies filthy jokes as well as jokes that go over the head of a 5 year old, which are two different things, but here are treated as the same.
In this case, I completely agree that your joke more than likely would go over the head of a five year old because the concept of bisexuality might not be somethingt a five year old has been exposed to yet and even if they have, they may not understand the punchline as it is a bit high brow for their age group.
However, it’s not a flithy joke and the implications of this rule is super unfortunate.
I also think that if I had been the mod in this instance, I would’ve not given a single fuck that you made a joke that was a bit more high brow than the average dad joke. If I may pretend for a second, that was a particularly nitpicky mod, I would have made a comment mentioning this rule and started a discussion with you and the other users to find out whether or not the joke was too clever for a five year old or if other people in the comments could attest to their five year olds being able to get the joke or not. That way it becomes a productive community discussion rather than a shut down.
I think that would have been a much better approach, tbh, rather than deleting it. No matter what the subject matter is, if it is this harmless, I don’t think it’s appropriate for a mod to start deleting things. It creates a bad atmosphere and insecurity in a community when people can’t express themselves in good faith without getting punished.
Your joke should not have been deleted imo.
. If I may pretend for a second, that was a particularly nitpicky mod, I would have made a comment mentioning this rule and started a discussion with you and the other users to find out whether or not the joke was too clever for a five year old or if other people in the comments could attest to their five year olds being able to get the joke or not. That way it becomes a productive community discussion rather than a shut down.
I agree, and that’s actually what the mod did after seeing the post (it’s the announcement pinned to the top of !dadjokes@lemmy.world). Turns out they were much more reasonable than I gave them credit for and also restored the post after the community agreed that it shouldn’t have been deleted 😁
, I don’t think it’s appropriate for a mod to start deleting things. It creates a bad atmosphere and insecurity in a community when people can’t express themselves in good faith without getting punished.
I agree. Speaking of which, do you know if mods and/or admins have the ability to move posts to other communities? I’ve had so many posts deleted due to mods thinking another community is a better fit and would much rather they move it lol
Oh, I’m glad to hear that everything was solved peacefully! 🤗
Speaking of which, do you know if mods and/or admins have the ability to move posts to other communities?
As far as I know, I don’t think they do. I am a mod in a couple of small communities and it doesn’t seem like I have the power to move posts around.
All we can do as either mods or regular users is try and help and guide one another so that we make posts in the appropriate communities moving forward and not start deleting posts left and right. That’s at least how I prefer to do things. I know rules and temperments are very different from place to place and I find that way too many communities and mods are too trigger happy over too little which creates very negative, short fused atmospheres whwre everybody becomes a rapid dog who assumes ill intent everytime and all the time. It is a shame. It ruins too many communities and I prefer that situations like the one you were just in, will be solved as peacefully as possible so that everybody can remain friendly and trusting. It’s a much healthier environment <3
Mod posted a response: https://lemmy.world/post/52564578
I have recently received some feedback about including sexuality as a topic for dad jokes. Although it was not the most constructive of feedback, some points were made. Sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality, and I apologize for not making that distinction clearer. I was basing my moderating on what was being reported and sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty, although sexuality such as LGBTQ+ parents/partners/people can be understood much earlier. While I stand by still keeping actual sexual themes (anatomy, sex positions, etc.) as an off-limits topic for the community, sexuality seems reasonable to include.
This community is not static; I want to do my best to maintain a place that can grow with the community while staying true as a place for humor in a world that has plenty of unpleasant things. I am not a bot, and am indeed a person that is open to having respectful discussions.
Tell me what you think should and should not be included as “off limits topics.” Should profanity be allowed, or possibly only certain words? Are there other suggestions you have? I will try to look at the common themes from any feedback and apply them over the next two weeks or so.
That is a fantastic response. Bravo. Stuff like that is what keeps us from becoming another Reddit shit hole.
This person believes in abstinence
Also, did they unban the post? Or is this just damage control?
Sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality
So much willful ignorance around this by people who just want to virtue signal to their peers.
As far as mod responses go, that’s pretty dang good. For as much as we complain about bad mods we should applaud the good.
Fully agree. It’s a great example of how to respond to criticism constructively. The Piefed developers should take notes, lol.
I posted a response in the thread 🙂
rare admission of guilt.
hopefully that community learns to read reports, and the actual contents before hitting the «Remove Post/Comment»Generally, I find communicating with the reported on gets better intersection and solidarity than outright deletion. (Good faith moderation vs Report->Remove)
One thing that everyone should learn in sex ed is the Kinsey scale 0-6, and bisexual is 1-5 on the scale, so that’s most of the scale. Most people don’t know this and if they do, most won’t admit the same gender attraction. Even in generally decent marriages to the opposite gender, they never know each other fully. Some might confuse that as choosing to be “straight” but they are still Kinsey 4 or whatever, and should not be resentful of people who chose both ways or not marriage. They should support equal rights too. It’s all good whatever number people are, be free!
Isn’t that scale pretty limited though, it doesn’t consider the difference between romantic and sexual attraction. Eg, desperately want to guzzle cock but can only love a woman. Basically the stereotype of republican conferences crashing grindr.
Now that you mention it: if we get married, my partner will totally be able to tell people “I’m not straight but my husband is” if anyone asks her. She’d love that and so would I 😄🥰
Equating gay/bi people with sex and therefore inappropriate for children is a tactic of bigotry. The same argument was used to say that it’s wrong for Mr. Ratburn to get married on Arthur, despite the episode being completely innocuous, or for any of the lgbtq characters in Steven Universe to exist. It’s literally an argument to exclude queer people from society.
The concept of “Dad” is too complex for children, and implies (at its core) the act of sex.
We should ban the concept of “Dad” from all forms that could be seen by children.
Same reason why showing gay relationships or drag on TV makes “christians” go nuts. They equate it to adult sexual behavior in order to silence it and keep it away from “family communities.”
Only american christians really. In the UK it really isn’t a problem.
Ah yes, Lemmy, so popular with kids it competes with Roblox for the pervs attention
Whenever I go to the store, I see at least 4 or 5 kids begging their parents to let them have an account.
I kind of just assumed everyone on these boards was 3-6 years old. Are they not?
Only mentally.
Scrolling through the community quickly, there were like 3 jokes mentioning a husband’s wife, one mentioning a car’s manual transmission stalling, and one that’s over a week old that includes the word "ass’ which is directly breaking the no-profanity rule, yet somehow the concept of a gay couple is too confusing for a 6 year old? Oh and also a joke about “Cherenkov radiation” which I am 1000% confident no 6 year old on earth has ever heard of.
PTB
Maybe people should be reporting those other posts mentioning heterosexual couples to make a point.
You know what they say: Alex and Philip don’t make Robert
Well now you’ve done it. You’re going to get removed for being racist.
Fair enough! Wish the mod was weighing in here at least then.
I’d tag them, but de-anonymizing (sp?) mods is against the rules of YPTB 🤷🏻
I hate so much when sections of Lemmy moderate as if they still have corporate masters to answer to and advertiser-friendliness to worry about.
On further discovery, that doesn’t seem to be the case with this particular decision but generally?
Oh really? I missed that rule, I thought it was just using admin powers to reveal them was the no no. There’s only one mod of that community.
There’s only one mod of that community.
Hence why I’d be able to know who to tag without being an admin myself 😁
I’m pretty sure that we’re not supposed to mention even the most guessable identity if it’s not in the modlog entry, though 🤷🏻
One of the posting guidelines is literally:
Which mods/admins were being Power Tripping Bastards?
So, if OP already figured it out, then I think it’s fine to mention. But I’m actually not 100% sure why there is a rule against deobfuscating the modlog in the first place. I’m typically for more transparency rather than less. I think @db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com would have written the original rule, so I’m sure he can explain it better than me :)
That’s wild when the first posting guideline is
Which mods/admins were being Power Tripping Bastards?
Seems like that’s a tricky path to walk when posting here.
@db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com Any chance we could get clarification on the naming of PTB mods here? @unruffled@anarchist.nexus
Maybe people should be reporting those other posts mentioning heterosexual couples to make a point.
Mods would just ban people for pointing out the posts or comments breaking rules rather than addressing the issues being reported
I was being a bit tongue-in-cheek with that comment honestly.
Lemmy.world not beating the allegations again.
Its the joys of how hard it is to convey sarcasm on the internet 😂.
Favorite removal reason from world is making too many reports so deleting instantly rather than locking
Sexuality??? “Likes to hold hands/be married with girls and/or boys” is not “sexual” and little kids can quite easily get that.
Seriously, is a kid with straight married parents not allowed to know their parents are married/like each other??? Tf
I sometimes worry that the straight, cis folks aint right :/
These days, both the straights and the straits are not OK.
Yeah, I’ve often thought we were a bit off. Ask someone why they are against gay people and they almost always find a way to be bothered by what’s going on in the bedroom. But if you start asking them about their heterosexual bedroom activities they clam up and seem offended that you asked. And they still don’t get why they are wrong
You are correct that I’m not right, but just for different reasons.
Speaking as a cishet, we mostly aren’t right but most of us are wrong in better ways 😉
I’m not going to go as far as PTB. There’s no out of scale action, the removal was in good faith, and the mod has been consistent in their moderation.
This is, however, clueless mod territory. It’s bad application of a rule done in ignorance. It isn’t okay, it shouldn’t have been removed.
No power trip, just a bad decision, and there is a difference between the two
Having seen the mod’s reply post in the community, I’m inclined to agree with you on all points tbh…
What’s everyone so upset about? Clearly, the 3-6 year-olds on Lemmy have been protected!
…from knowledge about the existence of gay and/or bi people.
How many 3-6 year olds could there possibly be using Lemmy??
3-6
And they’re a year old? Damn, they learned FAST
If I were you (which I am) I would know for sure it’s at least 2
