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12349
Joined
3 yr. ago

i signed a contract with the admins so the mods could sexually harass me politely, and that makes it extra legal. no i'm not referring to any specific communities or instances.

  • oh gods she wasn't from upwind by the plant was she

  • Krasnov:

  • i think one of the defining characteristics of their magic underwear is that it doesn't fit

  • a french shower?

  • no dessicated bird are you new

  • TIL

    Jump
  • at least a little, at first. like one would control a river if they were at a lever, and pulling that lever would stop the river from killing five blind toothless orphans with no toes (the river was going to club them like baby seals. and not going to be kind about it either the river is a real dick about it so please dear sentient pull that lever)

  • TIL

    Jump
  • i used to read the idaho baby name roundup. the problem with tragedeigh is it never had enough Ys

    how about myssgnohmehrs or something like that idk. I'm not entirely familiar with the history but using a real name (idk if tragdeigh is some poor child's) is in poor taste

  • that was a fun urban legend to will into reality. those zoobies will not do anything

  • i thought that meant limbo contests

  • look racism against coconuts was too far for me

  • huh. i just drape the kitten across my arm, kind of like a dali painting of a cat. they tend to be very happy with it when their head lines up with my hand, or better in reverse when their head lines up with my shoulder.

  • dude, i don't know how i did it but if i don't get out of bed and have a bowl of salsa in my sleep at midnight i can't stay asleep. my wife has been giggling about it for about a year and it explains SO MUCH about my disappearing chip horde. i thought i had cabron monoxide poisoning

  • don't forget their shit still stank and we blame them for it

  • peepayleeeneigh? what the hell is a peepayleeeneigh?

  • yeah but what about out cabron budget?

  • i'm a musician and i enjoy it, but i have a fucking morning gig in an hour and i need more coffee.

    i hate mornings. i mean i know why i chose this gig (my instrument costs more than my car and they let me play theirs for free) but like. more coffee please.

  • what about piles?

  • Showerthoughts @lemmy.world

    As soon as people could read, ages ago when they had fuck all to do they sat down and wrote (books, letters) for fun. Now, when people have fuck all to do they write internets for fun. NO CHANGE!

  • Comic Strips @lemmy.world

    BEARTATO WEEK BEGINS WHENEVER YOU WANT IT TO

  • Dull Men's Club @lemmy.world

    I am so fucking happy and so fucking full

  • Dull Men's Club @lemmy.world

    Got rid of some boxes in the garage

  • Showerthoughts @lemmy.world

    i'm gonna have to stand up aren't i

  • Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

    Godnorc calls for aid

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world

    How do i get my nails to stop stinking faster

  • Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

    dagnabbit

  • DIY @slrpnk.net

    Halloween Next Year Makin A Boat For My Bike Help

  • California @lemmy.world

    St. Basil Stockton Greek Food Festival, 2025 September 5-7

    stocktongreekfoodfest.com
  • Cooking @lemmy.world

    Sausage Gravy, for Biscuits

  • Cooking @lemmy.world

    anyone got sausage (or other protein) ideas for a cavatappi ala vodka

  • California @lemmy.world

    There's some shit going on this weekend what looks fun

    www.foodreference.com /html/california-festivals-august.html
  • TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name @lemmy.world

    That Ben ain't right

  • TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name @lemmy.world

    Dang ol', Darmok and Jalad, man... Tanagra. Talkin' 'bout...fire burnin', story, dang ol' understandin', y'know?

  • TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name @lemmy.world

    I'll tell you what, man, I think it’s dang ol' funnier if we don’t even know who said it, talkin' bout, y'know

  • Games @sh.itjust.works

    remember Road Rash?

  • simpsonsshitposting @sh.itjust.works

    so uh what's your favorite type of sprinkler

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world

    Why do we all have mayonnaise in our fridges instead of béarnaise sauce?