Tinder, Azar, Her, Hinge, match.com, meetic, Ok Cupid, Plenty of Fish, and The League are all owned by a single company.
The ratio of women to men on their dating apps are also wack.
Good lord they own basically all the major ones.
Also all the different “X People Meet” apps, but no Linux People Meet? 😭 /s
We meet here bro 😘
I met my girlfriend on IRC, we’ve been living together for 7 years now. She was trolling people with goatse pics and we started talking about philosophy and poetry etc and then it turned out that she’s a super cute canadian girl. This is usually not the story we tell people when they ask how we met.
That’s the most crazy story i have read and the best one probably
Also, THIS is how you are supposed to meet people online not with dating apps, dating apps just suck and make you choose the most sexy “option” and maybe their interests maybe
This is usually not the story we tell people when they ask how we met.
Honestly, it’s a way better story than telling people you met on a dating app. And the ones that would be weirded out by the story are probably not people you’d want to spend a lot of time around
Also all the different “X People Meet” apps, but no Linux People Meet? 😭 /s
Tbh, isn’t that just Alovoa? I had never heard of it until I saw it on FDroid
How is that not an anti-trust issue? Each one started as an independent company trying to add value by bringing something new to the table, and they bought them all up to eliminate the competition and enshittified them all with the same profit-gouging algorithms.
Not to mention the concerted effort they made to make in-person dating a social taboo so that everyone literally depends on the dating apps to find potential partners.
Back before I gave up on dating, when I was still on reddit, I can’t tell you how many times I heard the same advice. “Don’t approach people in person, nobody wants to be bothered. Just use the apps where you know they want to be approached.”
That with the systematic minimization of the shittiness of the apps, and the victim blaming “just work on yourself bro, you must be a shit person if you can’t find a partner, so you’d find a partner if you could just stop being a shit person.”
Looking back, I wonder how much of that was astroturfing by the Match Group marketing department…
How is that not an anti-trust issue?
Because we live in the bad place. Conservatives are unlikely to pursue anti-trust unless they’re using it as a tool to hurt out-group (eg: they might try to break up an organization they perceive as being too queer).
We don’t have a strong left in the US. You get glimmers every so often - Lina Khan was trying to do anti-trust work, but then trump returned and that’s all moot.
A lot of problems would go away or be less bad if we stopped letting power consolidate. Unfortunately, this is the bad place.
This makes total sense!
I met my partner on Tinder in 2014, 3 years before consolidation in 2017. When I was using it it was only a joint venture with Match Group
I also had some success before 2014 on okcupid (initially owned by IAC which used to contain Match Group and has since separated from match group but Match group kept OkCupid) and POF (sold in 2015 to Match Group)
Makes sense to me why I had a way different experience on dating websites back when I was single compared to my single friends now.
Fun fact: you can probably guess the ethnicity of Spencer Rascoff, the CEO of Match Group.
Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish and others are owned by one giant company called Match.com. You are not ugly, a monopoly just puts you down the pile by algorithm to prompt you to pay to increase your chances of more likes (that’s not to say that making your profile look good doesn’t matter). There are independent dating apps like Coffee and Bagel and Bumble, but either those apps don’t have many people or copying Match’s anti-consumer behaviour like Bumble does.
Can Lemmy be used for dating?
That really depends: are you looking for a nerdy man who lacks social skills or are you t4t and super online? If so, yeah probably. If not, feel free to try
I am a nerdy man who lacks social skills looking for a nerdy woman(ish person) who lacks social skills.
Any platform can be used for dating
Sweet home Alabama, where the sky is so blue…
I have read about people trying to use LinkedIn for dating, and I feel like that’s a red flag. Those men should probably be quarantined.
Everyone on LinkedIn should be quarantined.
Hey, you can show mutual connections, even check their CV for suspicious gaps and given how fucked up half the people on there are, they’ll probably tell you their private and political opinions!
Exhibit 1:
What the fuck‽
There’s Alovoa… an open source platform but it’s even less densely populated than Lemmy
Years ago, a friend of mine once had: “Seeking partner skilled in armed combat for the coming apocalypse. Must not be averse to cannibalism” as their bio.
Got 'em a couple DMs I think
Yeah that sounds like a fun person
I honestly can’t afford to lose my wife because there’s no way I would find another partner in the modern dating scene. I feel like the bar is way higher than it was in the early 2000s.
social media has convinced folks anything less than perfect means your partner is a total loser.
and everything you possible do is wonderful and perfect and above and criticism.
it’s literally insane and the reason why most people are single. they want their partner to be like an elite marathon runner while they can barely walk 5 blocks without getting winded.
people were way more humble and chill before social media brain rotted everyone, but that was over a decade ago at this point. also has nothing to do with dating apps, it’s just how folks thing about relationships now. also the popularity of toxic gender war bullshit is off the charts.
I felt exactly this way, and then my wife left me in at the start of this year. The apps are now a complete shitshow compared to when I last used them in ~2020, and I’m not in any kind of scene adjacent to dating. This isn’t directed at you (good luck in your marriage), but to anyone else reading this there is hope. I randomly bumped into a girl six weeks ago, plucked up the courage to ask for her number (I’ve literally only done this once in my life) and we’ve been going steady since. I now believe in karma and am happier than I’ve ever been.
I spent years getting frustrated on the apps, now I’m ending up marrying my best friend’s sister who I’ve known for 16 years and I was always too afraid to ask out. Turned out she was feeling the same way.
Life’s weird when you’re socially awkward.anytime i asked out an awkward shy girl she tells me to f off, despite flirting with me.
and of course the outgoing demanding women can’t get enough of me, even though I loathe them.
Really long story:
I once knew a girl in high school who I, in a rare moment of boldness while we were away from prying eyes, asked if she would be my girlfriend. She had been my friend for a short while and she fucking chuckled immediately in response, almost instinctively and said “No, sorry.”. My autistic ass did not exactly immediately understand why she laughed until I ruminated later.
That said, she seemed to be very friendly with me afterward, like maybe she felt bad and still liked me as a friend… And despite feeling hurt by the way she responded I still hung out with her every once in a while. She eventually got a hot confident boyfriend, because she was also hot. And I kind of started avoiding her because it hurt seeing her with a guy who I felt clearly was better than me, caused me to spiral into self loathing when I saw him. I did not know I was autistic, I just knew I was an infamously weird dork.
Fast forward ~11 years later I stumble into her and she looks like shes a different and much sadder person. I don’t want to body shame but she looked a lot worse and I was no longer particularly attracted to her, she was ok looking. She was going on about a recent break up with a guy who she said cheated on her to the bartender.
Now I’m polyamorous, and I legit don’t understand and actively dislike monogamy, but obviously I have a faint idea of how painful being cheated on would feel like, and she seemed super sad and I felt bad for her. After talking with her and catching up a little for like 20 minutes, she drunkenly tried to make out with me.
I got away from her and the internal anger I felt was supremely intense. Like, what the actual fuck, fuck you. You fucking said no and now that you’re washed up and depressed about your ex using me as a fall back.
I cannot describe the feeling of grief flare as well. Like, maybe if she had said yes back then. Maybe I could of had a normal romantic experience as a high schooler instead of being what I was. Sure maybe also wouldn’t have worked out like most relationships, but still. I was a really lonely fucked up high schooler with a completely empty romantic life. Just a void.
I’m doing better now romantically but I was also still having trouble getting any romance at this point in my life even 11 year later. I was still painfully lonely. But the absolute bitterness I felt toward her made even pity for her out the fucking window for me and my desperation for any intimacy dried up instantly in that moment.
Part of me wonders if I should have just gone for it and I was being petty. I don’t know. It just makes me kind of sad to think about.
The first time I asked my future wife out she said no to me. Straight no, I felt so bad that day. And the reason was that it felt unnatural at the moment, we were getting closer and I jumped to conclusions too fast.
I guess the moral of the story is you can get a second chance.
she didn’t tell you to f off though.
that’s very different than no.
So what you’re saying is literally every single girl you hit on told you to f right off?
Because if that’s true then it might be time to change strategy…
And they’re fake hikers and travelers too. I met somebody irl who said one of their interests was eating food but they just go to the places for the vibes and not for the food. Whereas I’m the complete opposite, I would go to a crack den for the best food.
A date I had said their hobbies were walking and hiking among other things. Our 1st date was at a local park with a 20 step stair case that took her out… It was my first exposure to this bizarre labelling that goes on here.
There wasn’t a 2nd lol
Humans are just animals at the end of the day. This is all a sexual display of fitness. Hiking and traveling tell people you’re physically and financially fit. You can move around no issue. You are social. You are socially and physically healthy.
They lie a ton and show pics of hiking from 5 years ago and act like they can still do all that. Or they never could and the pics are deceiving… Regardless, it’s just a game all genders are playing to show sexual fitness. It looks like carbon copies because it’s the best way to communicate “my body moves well and I can afford luxury”.
“my body moves well and I can afford luxury”
Swipes right
I had a firdt date with someone who loved hiking. I asked her if she wanted to go on a trail i like. I was worrued that it was maybe to long and steep, or maybe even to short. When we met, she was way bigger than i expected. I told ger that we could do something else, but she insiated. She was super slow and i was worried sge’s gonna pass out. She asked me if how far we have to go, when i could still see my car. Similar thing happened when i went on a vike ride with someone who was really into cycling
a vike ride
I feel like this could be really uncomfortable because of the helmet horns.
The best food is usually in places like that too. My home city has this literal hole in a wall mexican place. You know it’s good when it’s also a grocery store and nobody speaks good English except for the kids who are the wait staff. Best fucking food I’ve ever had and I’m gutted because they closed down 6 months later and I don’t know if they moved or went out of business 😭😭😭
amen brother.
best places to eat are the places with no white people. whitey has no taste.
but sucks that usually such places don’t last and get replaced with generic white person food.
No need to get all racist, mate
“Hellen Keller wasn’t real” is an immediate swipe away from a profile. I don’t care if they’re joking or if they’re actually a nut job conspiracy theorist. If the latter, obviously we’re not gonna vibe, and if the former, that entire joke/line of thinking is prefaced on ableism and the idea that a deaf and blind woman could not have accomplished what she did, not to mention the erasure of a prominent socialist, suffragist, and activist. I fucking hate that joke.
A VERY prominent and UNAPOLOGETIC socialist. The way history has defanged her and turned her into a simpleton who learned to speak is an absolute appalling insult to the strong, principled woman she was.
This is the first I’ve ever heard about it, and I’m so confused
Doesn’t matter had sex.
Dating apps should be publicly funded like a kind of public utility. And private dating apps heavily regulated and prevented from advertising. Because currently they making profit by keeping you single.
Like water and air, love should not be for profit.
We need 3rd spaces, online dating is just worse in general. People meet at trading card places and card shops because that’s just where people hang out, but that doesn’t exist anywhere else really besides bars.
People are becoming more isolated and more online, it’s way easier to see if you like someone (and you’ll be exposed to many people) if they happen to be in your vicinity rather than typing in text on a dating app.
it doesn’t mater, folks social skills have atrophied and their anxiety/depression levels have skyrocketed.
i do well on dating apps, but most women i meet have poor social skills and mental health problems, and refuse to address/acknowledge them. I’ve also seen this same thing in real life and it’s even worse with generation z. folks just no longer how to assert themselves or communicate. I ran a 3rd space for a decade almost, and basically quit because a few years after pandemic it became weirder and weirder and unstable and hostile folks kept coming and causing problems and blaming other folks for their rudeness.
you’re not going to be able to form healthy romantic relationships if you refuse to take care of your mental health and practice basic social graces.
Sometimes I wish Koi to Uso was real
That story makes me think of arranged marriage. Not a fan, but it did have it’s advantages, at least as long as the parents aren’t psycho or marry you off for political or monetary advantage or lands. More experience and more of an eye for the materialistic part of marriage and raising a family. Again not promoting this, there will be untold horror stories of ruined lives there, but I also think part of our modern mindset about romance is probably pathological on opposite ways.
In the past you were just expected to love your arranged partner - before the idea of “falling in love” became ubiquitous. Love was seen as a more active thing like a craftsmanship that you have to practice every day to get good at it. The feelings then just “grow” over time (see e.g. this book)
In any case any government interference should be based on well meaning and science based knowledge. Right now the government allows those who own the dating apps influence this essential part of human nature. That is not “non interference”, by not acting to protect people from predatory corporations the government causes harm. Obviously there should be socialist government policy for child rearing (healthcare, maternity leave, financial support, free high quality kindergarden and schools). A lot of stress in relationships can no doubt be traced back to financial stress or “materialist” problems.
is that what you tell yourself?
you really think a government dating app is going to help get you laid?
I think it’s more that the entire business model of dating apps means they profit from people staying single and looking, not finding long term relationships.
the govt is more likely to have aligned incentives with you when it comes to finding a partner. imo this feels vaguely distopian (not that dating apps don’t)
What’s this “Helen Keller wasn’t real” meme? I’ve never heard (or seen) it
Neither has she, lololol
I don’t get it.
Is it because she’s dead?
She was blind and deaf but yes she did in 1968.
Just a dumb conspiracy theory where people either think a) she wasn’t actually blind and deaf, or b) she didn’t actually write the books she wrote and shrugs everything she achieved.
https://www.distractify.com/p/is-helen-keller-real-conspiracy
Goes perfectly well to match the stupidity of a populus who commonly has “likes to go to church” in their profiles. OP must live somewhere MAGA-ey.
and think Helen Keller wasn’t real
wat? I’m not on any dating apps, is this a real conspiracy theory people believe?
there are many many more conspiracy theories out there that people believe than there is time for you to learn about all of them.
dating app companies have different incentives than you, and you cant afford to pay them enough to align the two. I think this is inevitable and it always greatly surprises me when people actually find love over these apps
I met a handful of people on dating apps, had some sex, and the relationships went basically nowhere. Every solid, long-term relationship I have had has come from going places and doing things with people. If I was single I’d start climbing again.
Dating apps are the worst, the absolute worst, way to meet people. I met my husband in a chat room and that’s fucking awful right? Dating apps are worse. Go on blind dates, set your friends up, go and scream in the middle of a park, all of those are better than dating apps. Humans don’t work like catalogues.
go and scream in the middle of a park
I see you use the bird method
at least “designed to be deleted” part of it is truthful. Nothing else to be done with that garbage program.
Lol it’s so enshitified it’s designed to be deleted
He’s got a point about carbon copy profiles, they all blur together after a while, and it’s very difficult to find something interesting to talk about in a lot of them.
“fostering men until they find their forever homes.”
I see this one at least 10 times a day.
I know it’s meant to be positive but gives me horror to me, like Hansel and Gretel
it means she isn’t accountable for her actions that drive men away. you are smart to be afraid.
and on the first date she will tell you how all her exes are awful and it’s your job as her next boyfriend to fix all their mistakes. you basically start out the relationship with her in emotional debt, and you’ll never pay it off with the interest rate she is charging.
