Also my dream single serving bus friend? I’m not trying to date anyone but I am trying to subscribe for more mesoamerican archeology facts, especially if I can ask clarifying questions along the way.
I think part of the point here is going over people’s heads. She used her hyperfixation to confuse and bore the man to deflect any opportunity for him to flirt with her or ask her out until she was able to leave.
Everyone saying “jokes on you, this bus girl is so my type” would also have their ear talked off and never given the opportunity to ask her out.
Maybe I’m naive, but I want to think that plenty of people actually stoked about that kind of situation would rather ask to elaborate on the West Mexico civilization instead.
I think you’re right, I’m just responding to the people (who are all over this thread) saying that this is part of their manic pixie dream girl fantasy.
Even the op explains that this is a method to avoid the guy trying to pick her up.
Yeah, like I’d love to talk to this girl about this stuff if she wanted to talk about it, regardless of if she was interested in dating me or not, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. She was doing it to run him off
Just don’t lock anyone’s knees, and use the appropriate dating spaces? Because strangers don’t want to talk to you on the ride, it is one of the most anti-social places on Earth.
Unironically the answer seems to be mainly “don’t.” I’m with you (I hate making people feel uncomfortable personally, but it shakes out the same) and have been trying to make sense of it, so far I’ve got:
Bars: OK
Dating apps: OK
Work: Right out don’t even think about it. This includes any combination of worker/customer, worker/worker, and even customer/customer. Women supposedly don’t like to be asked out in those situations.
And then you’ll hear men say “go to the gym” and women say “I don’t like being asked out at the gym” so that seems off limits unless you’re seeking men.
Common advice is to “find a hobby” but women hate being asked out while they’re just trying to do their hobbies as well according to them. Ok so then “you don’t ask them out there, you become friends and hope they’ll set you up with a single friend.” It also necessitates a hobby that isn’t solitary, which just isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
So basically the best I’ve got so far seems to be “drink more, discard online privacy, or pray.”
But then also “just ask, be polite, and take no for an answer, if they get offended at that, that’s their problem” has been thrown around, and figuratively praying to a god I don’t believe in hasn’t been working so far, so I’m considering trying that out.
Actually, ironically, while I made the joke that “make friends and then hope they set you up with someone” = “pray,” another piece of advice is “meet them in church,” which supposedly works real well, but I don’t think lying about my religion is a good foundation to a happy relationship, personally. If you however have no such compunction or are religious, that may work.
This isn’t even outside of what society expects. Striking up conversations with people is normal and human!
There are bad ways to do it, of course. In this case, I’d be rattled by the knee tap. But a little conversation is fine, and if they aren’t responding enthusiastically you can just drop it.
Dude OP was describing was striking up a conversation with another person. Sometimes that becomes a date, sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a nice way to go about every day. You don’t need an ulterior motive. If you can imagine having the conversation with a man in the same scenario, then it’s fine IMO.
Well, I found my manic pixie dream girl. I would absolutely would love to talk about Teuchitlán.
Also my dream single serving bus friend? I’m not trying to date anyone but I am trying to subscribe for more mesoamerican archeology facts, especially if I can ask clarifying questions along the way.
Here you go: Ancient Americas
This channel has incredible content
You watched Fight Club then?
Whew, but I did have a Chuck Palahniuk phase
I think part of the point here is going over people’s heads. She used her hyperfixation to confuse and bore the man to deflect any opportunity for him to flirt with her or ask her out until she was able to leave.
Everyone saying “jokes on you, this bus girl is so my type” would also have their ear talked off and never given the opportunity to ask her out.
Maybe I’m naive, but I want to think that plenty of people actually stoked about that kind of situation would rather ask to elaborate on the West Mexico civilization instead.
I think you’re right, I’m just responding to the people (who are all over this thread) saying that this is part of their manic pixie dream girl fantasy.
Even the op explains that this is a method to avoid the guy trying to pick her up.
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Yeah, like I’d love to talk to this girl about this stuff if she wanted to talk about it, regardless of if she was interested in dating me or not, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. She was doing it to run him off
Dude, I just want to talk about Mesoamerica. I got Tezcatlipoca set as my profile banner. I’m a fan boy.
Having just been there, it’s very much not ignored by the tourists. Yes, me too.
Don’t forget about the Tarascan Empire!
How could I forget them! The only Purépecha I ever met loved talking about them.
Just don’t lock anyone’s knees, and use the appropriate dating spaces? Because strangers don’t want to talk to you on the ride, it is one of the most anti-social places on Earth.
You can talk to me on the bus if I’m not obviously doing something else.
So, as someone who is terified to approach someone literally anywhere, what are the “appropriate dating spaces” now a days?
Unironically the answer seems to be mainly “don’t.” I’m with you (I hate making people feel uncomfortable personally, but it shakes out the same) and have been trying to make sense of it, so far I’ve got:
Bars: OK
Dating apps: OK
Work: Right out don’t even think about it. This includes any combination of worker/customer, worker/worker, and even customer/customer. Women supposedly don’t like to be asked out in those situations.
And then you’ll hear men say “go to the gym” and women say “I don’t like being asked out at the gym” so that seems off limits unless you’re seeking men.
Common advice is to “find a hobby” but women hate being asked out while they’re just trying to do their hobbies as well according to them. Ok so then “you don’t ask them out there, you become friends and hope they’ll set you up with a single friend.” It also necessitates a hobby that isn’t solitary, which just isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
So basically the best I’ve got so far seems to be “drink more, discard online privacy, or pray.”
But then also “just ask, be polite, and take no for an answer, if they get offended at that, that’s their problem” has been thrown around, and figuratively praying to a god I don’t believe in hasn’t been working so far, so I’m considering trying that out.
Actually, ironically, while I made the joke that “make friends and then hope they set you up with someone” = “pray,” another piece of advice is “meet them in church,” which supposedly works real well, but I don’t think lying about my religion is a good foundation to a happy relationship, personally. If you however have no such compunction or are religious, that may work.
Idk about other people but I hit on and am hit on by women at bars
I wonder if Lemmy has a dating community.
Forget dating apps. Idk, friend of friends might recommend you?
I am just as afraid and single, so yeah.
Hard disagree. What are “appropriate dating spaces”?
Pretty sure lots of the people would love to have something serendipitous happen outside of the boring designations society expects.
This isn’t even outside of what society expects. Striking up conversations with people is normal and human!
There are bad ways to do it, of course. In this case, I’d be rattled by the knee tap. But a little conversation is fine, and if they aren’t responding enthusiastically you can just drop it.
What am I supposed to do? Be that creep that just hits on women? 😭
I can’t imagine that it’s not a game friend being a date, or friend of a friend who recommended me.
Or one of those dating servers/forums.
Everything else feels creepy.
Dude OP was describing was striking up a conversation with another person. Sometimes that becomes a date, sometimes it doesn’t. It’s a nice way to go about every day. You don’t need an ulterior motive. If you can imagine having the conversation with a man in the same scenario, then it’s fine IMO.
Ironically, I cannot. I would not chat up a random man without a good reason.
What am I supposed to do? Be that creep that just hits on women? 😭
I can’t imagine that it’s not a game friend being a date, or friend of a friend who recommended me.
Or one of those dating servers/forums.
Everything else feels creepy.