Im in a wierd state as my wife and I have been battling depression since her health issues started. We always sorta talked and laughed a bit. I mean if you have reasons is it really depression? I mean it makes sense to be sad when you have things to be sad about. That are not going to go away. I am approaching two years being unemployed concurrently with my country falling apart and the future has never looked bleaker on both a large scale and a personal scale. I am trying my best to look for work while doing pickup work but I often cannot get up in the morning and try to offset it by getting to bed earlier but then rather than getting up I just end up sleeping a lot. Im not sure if I present any level of enthusiasm with the job search. I try but it feels so artificail I feel like it comes through. I have a doctors appointment where I hope to get a referal to a psychiatrist. Thing is there is this family history with mental illness and like half my family have been institutionalized as some point and alzhiemers has showed up with my father and sister. I grew up in a time before adhd and autism were a thing diagnosed and kids like me were just called introverted. I went into science and swung into tech which are jobs that have been pretty forgiving of odd people who have a high level of cognitive ability. So I sorta want to get screened for a bunch of things. I don’t want to be taking any medications unless its actually going to help me function better.
I think it’s Trump Derangement Syndrome. It makes me lose hope in any future for the US and humanity overall.
You mean magats following trump, or you mean people with legitimate criticisms of trump?
The random stabs of vivid intrusive sensory memories associated with various abuses I’ve endured.
Think intrusive thoughts but instead of thoughts your nervous system is reliving the sensory experience of something traumatic and you’re just sitting idly at your work desk trying not to cry.
Social anxiety. It’s not terrible because I can push myself outside of my boundaries, but it can makes some activities difficult like going to MTG prerelease events at game shops.
A big part of it is that I’m not very comfortable talking to folks I don’t know and that makes it harder to go into new spaces. It is affecting my relationships because I’m finding it difficult to reconnect with family members. I want to reconnect and I’m thankful my aunts and uncle are reaching out to me, but it’s hard to have a conversation on the phone since they had been absent from my life for so many years due to lots of BS family drama.
Once I’m comfortable though, I’m fine hanging out and bullshitting with friends and acquaintances.
Having absolutely no passion for anything anymore.
The most issues is the insomnia my entire fucking life revolves around my sleep pattern and it’s a massive PITA.
Big same.
Woah, same. I have a hard time even making it to doctor’s appointments, which makes it kind of a catch22. Not that doctors have been any use for that specific issue, but I have many other issues …
Though it’s a bit difficult to say which is mental and which is physical. In general, my IBS causes me the most distress, and my doctors haven’t found any physical cause. At the very least, I believe that it’s a knock-on effect of my insomnia and the associated bad eating+drinking habits.
sleep is a huge one. stress about the world being on fire. stress about my own physical health issues. stress about the decline of my rapidly aging parents. but if we’re not getting enough sleep, then stress about everything is worse.
i’m just profoundly thankful that my job is relatively stress-free–even if i get no sleep, i can get through most days unscathed by any drama/bureaucracy/bullshit that plagues most jobs
Always tired, like most of the time.
Not being able to feel motivated to “get stuff done” without another person home, or some other external pressure (Im a fuckin homemaker… or sahm?) I like homemaker, my kid is getting older, and Idk, but its work all the time to keep the house clean and running. I have to plan my own days out, and success varies. Were it be, I could just clock in and know exactly what to do.
I will make excuses to not go to events places I want to because… there are dishes in the sink? so for some reason in those moments I convince myself I cant go to a fair or something because of house work. which is silly, because my husband does not care if its done or not, he just wants me happy. But, I struggle with this. My personal areas, like my clothes and stuff, end up neglected, because there is absolutley no extral pressure. I just lost my fav pair of warm sweat pants for three weeks. couldnt find them, yesterday saw em hanging on the back of the bathroom door on a hook. i dont remember putting them there. And im tired. so bloody tired.
I stubbornly refuse all meds. But the ADD seriously impacts me. and the depression just- ugh. I have one good day, three sleepy days, then a forced day, then two more sleepy days.
I fight nearly everyday to do the things. I gotta go clean the cat box rn. im here instead. oye. Sunny, warm, spring days help, but its cold and rainy today, the hardest kind of day.
Libido, not sure does it fall under mental health issue, but I’ve narrowed it down to phycology as i have gone through all the physical and many hormonal fixes for it without any changes.
Im a guy and missing one of the most stereotypical aspect guys have. That’s kinda emasculating and i obviously overcompensate and of course this guarantees permanent relationship issues
Overall, It’s complicated. Probably closest fit is responsive vs spontaneous desire model.
Likely spontaneous desire. I can easily forget that sex exist, in addition it takes nearly perfect conditions and good timing just to be receptive of getting turned on. Life is rarely perfect and it takes actual effort to set everything up for those perfect conditions. Often times there just isn’t enough energy or time left to even get started to get into the mood.Did you used to be able to and now you can’t?
I’ve never in my whole life been able to feel pleasure masturbating (and so I’ve never tried sex). I only seem to get turned on in very niche circumstances, and it has always been fleeting. Been like that my whole life. I’ve always had FOMO with it. Yeah, there is the label “asexual” and blah blah blah…but it’s like every piece of media and every human in your life seems to be able to get this amazing rush of endorphins and I can’t. I just wish I could experience it.
Cant tell for sure as it wasn’t that much of an issue when i was younger so i really didn’t have to turn much attention to it.
It was most definitely easier when i was younger. Kinda like more receptive and it was easier to go along.
One guess was that maybe life has gotten just busier over the years, but it has remained pretty much the same busy for nearly 15 years. Overall load has been probably even reduced due to kids being older now and not working 2 jobs.The physical pleasure is most definitely there and sometimes even mental/psychological pleasure, but there’s absolutely no drive to reengage, even though i logically know it is pleasurable.
I have heard and been browsing communities and googling about asexuality too and that seems to be mostly about attraction, which is an emotion and I’m really really bad at detecting those and as asexuality is kinda final i will avoid that for as long as possible.
Ah ok. If this happened in later life, then I wouldn’t say it has anything related to the asexuality label. Reads a bit more like depression to me tbh.
Not specifically later in life, i just didn’t give enough attention to it before to be able to notice it. It could have been there since the beginning, just masked by other factors. Internal working is a rather complicated and confusing subject and can easily take years or more to pinpoint the origin, why or how something works and how different factors influence it.
Sex and libido goes under it, i need months to years worth of observational data to notice specific behavioral habits and trends and then collate all the information to form some sort of a theory.
I doubt it’s depression, I’ve have had that one before. After i quit alcohol(borderline alcoholism), so i have comparison material how that functions in my body and behavior, neither there are any other symptoms of depression. Energy levels are up, mood is ok, bloodwork is ok, motivation is ok, picked up new hobbies over the years, no depressive taughts, I’ve even learned to notice and redirect negative spiraling, sleep is as good as it can get with shift work.
Hmm I dunno then. Interestingly, there are actually a couple of drugs out there for women with low sexual desire if it bothers them in an attempt to help it. Idk how well they work and to my knowledge, I don’t know if there are any for men. I mean, obviously there are erectile dysfunction meds for men, but I don’t know that they impact desire.
That’s interesting, usually from male perspective the only meds that get recommended are testosterone or yeah ED meds.
Sadly ED meds have no effect on desire, though those do give a nice pump in the gym. In addition to improved boners.
And I’m already on TRT in attempts to fix it. After dialing in the dosages and frequency, i was back in square one.
Though I’ll most definitely take a look at drugs that are supposed to increase desire in women and how those are supposed to work.
Not being able to regulate my emotions so if I am angry, or frustrated, or scared, or anything in the negative spectrum I either shut down or overflow into a meltdown.
That and having almost a complete lack of executive function.
I very much relate to this. Been in an intensive group DBT program and idk if it’s helping, but it’s way more than a one on one therapist has ever done for me. It’s not solving all my problems, but it does help.
I’m not neurodivergent tho, just born too sensitive I guess. It sucks sometimes because it seems like most people don’t feel pain as intensely as some of us do. I probably have BPD traits.
I almost lost my job several months ago when a period of extreme ongoing workplace stress exacerbated my natural predisposition for this. Been many months now and I’m still employed. :)
Are you neurodiverse? Just wondering cos it’s linked to emotional regulation
Diagnosed AuDHD snd BPD.
Ah that fits. That’s a lot to manage well done for coping
Inability to regulate focus. Sure panic attacks and flashbacks are more innately dramatic, but they’re rare and have never caused a kitchen fire or a car crash.
Thank you for specifying “symptom”, because it makes it easier for me to grasp and to put into words.
It’s the bottomless pain and sorrow that sometimes makes me apathetic or catatonic. I think they are symptoms of my depression. The issues that these symptoms cause are, except for what they are on their own - in other words painful and sorrowful - :
- they ignite and put me into a spiral of anxiety and self hate. I don’t believe in the afterlife and if my time alive is limited, how then can I be so dumb as to waste my time being depressed?
- again, they cause anxiety and self hate since I cannot explain to people, mostly to colleagues and to my boss, what is wrong with me. It’s not like I scraped my knee thus it hurts or 1+1=2. More like i1+i2=i3…
- they make me isolate myself. I was once a party person. I was social, had an active sex life, exercised, played music. I loved myself and I loved people unconditionally. Where the fuck did all that go. I’m so angry goddammit.
