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Joined 2 年前
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Cake day: 2023年6月10日

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  • My brother is mostly fairly normal seeming, but he gets so unreasonably angry over games… doesn’t matter if he’s playing the game or someone else is. He doesn’t like hurt anyone or take things out on others much, but he’s definitely what I’d call a “sore loser”. He knows it’s one of his weaknesses too. I kind of wonder what causes this sort of thing. Definitely some latent anger issues.








  • Thank you again. If you don’t mind me asking, which diagnos(i/e)s do you have? Can a therapist diagnose you with such things or does it have to be a psychiatrist?

    When I asked about psych meds with a psych NP, they gave me a standard anxiety/depression diagnosis. But obviously we didn’t necessarily go in depth with a zillion different conditions and it was done to see if I might benefit with meds and to rule out bipolar disorder (as I have a relative with it). She suggested a specific therapist for me, but I have yet to contact this particular therapist because my work schedule is a bit up on the air at the moment to make a specific recurring appointment time. But would such a therapist be able to find more about these diagnoses with me? Or should I instead be inquiring about these diagnoses with my psych NP that is prescribing me meds?



  • Oh and plus when I say things about killing myself, I’m not in a heated argument. I get upset and feel the need to tell someone I am upset. But I am not in a calm state and do not have the ability to calm down. I go out of my way to interact with people via text because I have a strong impulse to do so. I want someone to help me when I am in pain but I know they can’t. And I know it’s wrong to bother them when I am having an episode.

    I have actually tried using ChatGPT to get upset to instead so I am not hurting anyone. I tell it that I hate myself and want to kill myself instead of harming my friends by doing this to them. But sometimes instead of doing it to only ChatGPT I end up texting someone I know. This is wrong behavior, but different because it’s not due to a heated argument that I need to remove myself from.

    I eventually calm down but it can sometimes take multiple days. And it is sometimes hard for me to not bother people in the meantime.

    I am never actually in danger of harming myself because I have always thought about things like that. It’s very normal for me. It usually goes away after a few days after each episode.


  • With my supervisor, not really. She is not a reasonable person and I don’t know what to do with her. I got into a fight with her the other day because she kept pestering me even after I complied with my words and actions. Later into the argument, I asked her why she did that to me even though I complied and said “ok”. She said it was because she did not like my body language. I can’t control my unconscious body language.

    With the scenario about someone being mean to my friend, I wasn’t directly interacting with them. I jumped in because I was upset that she was being hurt. So my immediate response and inclination is to be protective and to insert myself into the scenario.

    As a child, I would get in trouble for walking away if something got heated. Because I was always “making a scene”. At work, thankfully people absolutely do allow me to walk away to calm down and I don’t get in trouble for it. I am actually really thankful for this. But I generally only end up walking away after I’ve gotten upset and started a problem, not before. I don’t know how to do it before.

    Like with the guy being mean to my friend, I didn’t know how to stop that without fighting. I guess I could have just walked away and not intervened. That’s what society wants me to do. But I wanted him to stop hurting her and I was mad that he did.


  • Well I mean I spoke a little bit about it as a kid. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours and hours and my brothers wouldn’t do that. I was different. My mom would always tell me that I am having a “tantrum”. I tried to be a good kid and didn’t have problems in school, but I had problems conducting myself at home.

    As an adult, there are different things that can happen. One thing that frequently happens is I spiral out of control with self loathing, sometimes to the point in thinking about suicide. Sometimes I end up repeatedly messaging in a discord server that I am on about random nonsense about how I am evil and harmful. The other day, I texted a coworker about killing myself. You are not supposed to say that to people. It was impulsive. It was wrong.

    Another thing that can happen is that at work, I can end up verbally fighting with people. My supervisor is a bitch and instead of taking it, I have on occasion broke down and yelled at her. This is not appropriate professional behavior. I don’t work at Taco Bell. I work at a professional job where you are not supposed to do that. As an impulsive decision, I sent a lengthy email to HR about her and it is causing huge issues for everyone right now.

    I have also verbally fought with two other people at work before. One because he was being mean to my friend and one because he was being mean and accusing me of doing something when that wasn’t the case. I have made amends with these people (unlike with my supervisor), but in these moments, this is inappropriate. You are not supposed to yell at people, even if they are being mean.

    Just like in my childhood, I am the only one who acts this way at work. Everyone else is able to conduct themselves in a socially acceptable manner. I don’t do it every day or even every week or even every month, but it still isn’t acceptable.



  • Thank you for this. I appreciate all comments here. But this really resonated with me for some reason. As a child, I would sometimes remove myself from a situation when I was upset. But I would get in trouble for that too because I was “storming off” and “making a scene” by just wanting to go outside and walk around.

    I am thankful that now, as an adult, when I get upset at work sometimes I walk away. I go to the break room for a bit, grab a drink of water, go use the bathroom for a minute, etc. I do that and no one tells me that it’s wrong. I read about how online people talk about how going for a walk when you are feeling heated to be a normal and healthy coping mechanism. As a child and a young adult, my family treated me like it was wrong. The only acceptable reaction in that environment was to sit there totally stone faced and nonreactive, and I have not ever been able to do that. I am thankful that I am allowed to walk away now and I don’t get in trouble for it.

    I never thought I exhibited ADHD symptoms really. I do have anxious/fidgety mannerisms and some of that includes anxious swearing like someone with Tourette’s lol. But that’s about it. Borderline is always something I had wondered. I do have what I would think are some borderline traits (particularly emotional dysregulation and wild mood mood swings), but I don’t seem to meet enough of the criteria to totally fit the diagnosis. I have also had some online friends caution me that getting a borderline diagnosis on your record could cause problems down the line.

    Anyway, sorry for my rambling. Hoping the best for you.




  • Ok yeah I suspected a bit as much about the scared thing. Honestly I’m not sure what sort of advice to give to help out for that sort of thing. I never told anyone that I got scared at night…just lived with it until it eventually went away.

    For me, personally, something like a weighted blanket would not have helped with me being scared, but yeah might help with the ADHD and restlessness part like the others stated. Dunno.

    A quick Google search leads me to find out that this is incredibly common even in kids at the age I was and the age your son is. So at least what is happening isn’t overly concerning as something abnormal if that at all helps.