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Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 6 days ago

Follow for more "Matrix Mysteries"

hexbear.net

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Follow for more "Matrix Mysteries"

hexbear.net

Posadas [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 6 days ago
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https://xcancel.com/MatrixMysteries/status/1938197895297306700

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  • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    the bible absolutely mentions manmade fish meat

    • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      Jesus was actually a time-traveler from the future with a replicator, some hyposprays, and a medical tricorder

      • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        Jesus was Data who accidentally time travelled whilst delivering a replicator to a distant planet and was thrown light-years back to Earth.

  • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    I’m happy that modern science is finally learning about bread and olive oil

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    The Bible doesn’t mention cars, planes, guns, internet, democracy, cocoa, coffee, tea, giant robots…

    • Zuzak [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      It does, however, mention adultery quite a lot.

      • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        6 days ago

        How else are you gonna pass the time back then?

        • vovchik_ilich [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          6 days ago

          Cutting the neighbouring tribes’ foreskins presumably

    • ourtimewillcome [any]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      The Bible does have passages describing an arguably democratic and perhaps even primitive communist society, since descriptions of the apostles sharing everything can be found in Acts 2:44-45 and Acts 4:32-35. there its stated that all believers were united in heart and mind, sharing their possessions and ensuring that no one among them was in need.

      conspicuously, western protestants often tend to omit those verses.

      • CupcakeOfSpice [she/her, fae/faer]@hexbear.net
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        5 days ago

        I like to bring this up when they get uppity about capitalism being God’s preferred system, which is such a wild claim to make. But a Fox News host said it best, “God is great, but I love capitalism.” Honestly, had I not heard them say it myself, I would have a hard time believing they were so mask-off.

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    the bible totally mentions lab grown meat. it’s called Manna. it was made by Trickster Scientists to help God’s warriors get completely jacked in time for battle with the Lost Tribes of Solomon before the invention of HGH and Elk Liver.

    if you invest in Lord Christ Crypto, i will send you a link to the Real Ultimate Bible which will teach you how to unvaxx your own loads.

  • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    sure the world is getting fucked to death by capitalism via pollution and warming, but I’m sure we can solve that through individual food consumption choices. I am very smart

    • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      Tears streaming down my face as I beg the apple tree to respect my consumer choice and grow oranges instead.

      So far no luck

      • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        6 days ago

        The agricultural treat printers can’t come soon enough

        • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          6 days ago

          I legit have a wild dream of grafting an impractical number of apple varieties onto the same trunk. It would be a nightmare if it started to get fungus, though.

  • Meltyheartlove [love/loves, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    lol

    • Meltyheartlove [love/loves, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      grok is this true?

      • 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        6 days ago

        Of course the conspiracy whackjob is also an A432 dork

        • pinguinu [any]@lemmygrad.ml
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          Imagine what they’ll feel when they discover A 415 or even A 392

          They don’t have shit on renaissance nerds

  • EllenKelly [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    How many times is sodomy mentioned 😵

    • buh [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      69

      • nfreak@lemmy.ml
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        5 days ago

        hehehe that’s the weed number

  • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    It doesn’t mention computers once

  • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    now do cannibalism

    • 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      And horse jizz. That’s definitely in the Bible at least once.

      • diegeticalt (any)@lemmygrad.ml
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        5 days ago

        deleted by creator

        • 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          5 days ago

          Covet not thy neighbor’s butt

  • boiledfrog [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    Look I like olive oil, but calling it a superfood feels like a stretch, when would you ever eat straight olive oil

    • vovchik_ilich [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      Hah, mere mortal. As a Spaniard, pure extra virgin olive oil runs through my veins. I have transcended mere existence, I am become the

      • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]@hexbear.net
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        5 days ago

        This is what happens when you eat 30-40 olives, right out of the jar with your fingers, as an easy weeknight dinner.

        • vovchik_ilich [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          Aceitunas machacás/chupadedos hit the freaking spot so much these days, I love the flavour profile of the brine used to make them

    • Keld [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      6 days ago

      The celebrity chef diet.

    • Formerlyfarman [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      When I was in my early 20s they had an olive oil bottle meant to be seasoning in the restaurant closest to work, id pour half a bottle into the soup.

      It was the only place I could eat near work and I was always hungry.

      Eventually I would make instant ramen, with lard, tallow orremovedseed oil instead of water. Oils are generally cheap and have a lot of calories, the perfect food. I can still get a kg of tallow for under a dollar.

  • tombruzzo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    These losers would hate looking up how many times the bible mentions managing your money

  • radio_free_asgarthr [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    bronze age pervert iron age pervert

  • buh [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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    6 days ago

    What about beef tallow

  • kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    5 days ago

    The Bible mentions infanticide multiple times, too.

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