I’ll comment my solution here in case anyone comes across this with a similar problem.

I installed Antimicro, it comes up under slightly different names like AntimicroX but they should all be the same.

I mapped buttons on the controller to the keyboard and it all worked. You just need to map the matching controls in the game to the controller keybinds.

This was perfect for my use case because I bought my boys these controllers:

(They’re 2 years old so I don’t want to get them good ones.)

These controllers have a few problems with them. First is games and retroarch don’t seem to recognise the D-pad inputs like normal, and second is Midtown Madness 2 defaults to a joystick axis for steering and you can’t remap this.

Antimicro has fixed these problems by mapping everything to the keyboard, allowed me to play Burnout: Paradise with a controller, and fixed the new problem of trying to play Midtown Madness 2 without analogue sticks.

Antimicro is free and open source for Windows and Linux so it should sort you out on whatever platform you’re on. I made my own profile, but you can download existing profiles from the internet as well.

This was written by a gay cyclist

Since this is an old laptop for my kids I don’t want to put Steam on there. I found a program called antimicro that translates controller inputs to keyboard keys so I’m going to try that out

Take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain

This is like Vanmoof but worse. All proprietary everything on a fucking bike and then the company almost collapses

Don’t they understand? If you ever build public infrastructure it has to be reactive for double the inconvenience. People don’t get the services they need, then need to go through the disruption of it being built, and then have an inadequate service that doesn’t meet current demand.

You can’t build things in anticipation of their use

I should be starting a job with a place where I can salary sacrifice to get an ebike. My plan is to get a cargo bike so I can take my kids around in it. I already have a trailer pram but they’re getting bigger now so it’s more effort and those 20km round trips really take it out of me. I love the idea of being able to take them places out in the open and away from traffic where they can actually see what’s going on