• Mothra@mander.xyz
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    3 months ago

    I disagree with the glasses part as counterargument. Pizzas are sold by diameter in places that offer large and small - some even do medium. I also believe it would be nicer to have wider burgers instead of taller

    • markovs_gun@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Counterpoint - pizzas are sold by diameter, but pretty much everyone I know underestimates how diameter corresponds to actual pizza size and think a 16" pizza is twice as big as an 8" pizza instead of four times as big, which it actually is. Meanwhile, a burger patty that is twice as big as another one is actually twice as tall, while one that is wider is only about ~41% wider. Vertical dimension is more intuitive for the overall mass difference.

    • daed@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      Who would even eat the taller pizza? I’d find it disgusting. I’m not saying anything about the burger.

        • Hylactor@sopuli.xyz
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          3 months ago

          I’ll do it, Chicago has terrible taste in food. Deep dish is preposterous, Malort is an abomination, and despite how you feel about ketchup, relish should not look like the ooze that creates ninja turtles.

              • Stamets@lemmy.worldOP
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                3 months ago

                I recorded this rant because I’m bored. I fuckin hate deep dish and NY style pizza.

                I don’t know what kind of culinary trauma Chicago is working through but their pizza isn’t pizza, it’s a STEW, or at best a stew with ambitions. It’s a stew with a gluten lid. I need a ladle, not a fork. I have to displace sauce like I’m fording the fucking Oregon Trail just to find the crust. It’s lasagna that forgot it was Italian. It’s soup gaslit into thinking it can achieve something. You don’t eat that shit you survive it. You don’t chew it, you contemplate your entire life while shoveling it in and wondering how something with so much molten cheese could still feel emotionally cold.

                I’m in agreement with Jon when it comes to Deep-Dish pizza and how it isn’t a pizza but a tomato-laden crime scene in a cast-iron pan. But he comes in so hot and screaming like he’s right about how real pizza folds. No. No Jon. I ain’t ever going to trust a fucking dude from New Jersey when it comes to pizza. That’s just New York opinions with worse parking. It’s like if Staten Island got a podcast and decided it was a food critic. These are people who look at a strip mall and say “This is where I want my Italian food experience to begin.” You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops. They serve slices so thin you could laminate one and use it as a fucking bookmark. Their idea of crust is “whatever’s left after sadness finishes baking.” You pick up a slice and it’ll collapse faster than their economy would if you banned tanning beds.

                Fucking Jon motherfucking goddamn Stewart out here talking about how reall pizza fooooolds. Oh. Does it? DOES IT JON? Real pizza folds? My money folds (jiggle jiggle). My spine folds after sleeping the wrong way. My dreams fold under the pressure of existence. That doesn’t make thme LUNCH. But of course he would love this goddamn monstrosity called ‘New York Style Pizza’. You would too if you grew up being told that thin floppy bread covered in oily regret was pizza. It isn’t pizza. It’s barely a suggestion of pizza. It’s whispering the concpet of mozzarella over a saltine while screaming about the Jets.

                I love Jon. I really do but I wish he would stick to tearing down Fox News and republicans because when he says NY Pizza is the real deal all I hear is “I enjoy food that is as thin, undercooked and as lacking in substance as a conservative argument.” Stay with eviscerating fascists and not defending pizza that looks like it needs an intervention and a fuckin’ towel.

  • Goltbrook@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    I want a place that makes tiny burgers

    Forget the premium burger places where burgers are held together by whaling harpoons and you need to eat them deconstructed. Instead of one giant undesirable burger give me a plate with 4 regular sized burgers in exciting variations.

    Give me a chicken chili burger, a double irish beef patty blue cheese burger, an italian herb lamb patty and as a chaser a smoked bison brisket with bourbon sauce.

    All on one plate. I would be happy

    4 burgers. 1 plate. 0 regrets.

    And if you don’t like one, you have 3 more chances to forgive the cook.

  • kn0wmad1c@programming.dev
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    3 months ago

    Nah. If you put two plates in front of me and one had a regular burger on it and the other had a burger that was as wide as the plate itself, I’d pick the one that most accurately reflects how much I hate myself at that moment.

  • drdalek@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 months ago

    This is a dumb response. Wider is easier to fit in your mouth and doesnt fall apart. Taller is just a mess and challenge to eat

    TLDR: it’s not a volume issue, its a distribution

    • D_C@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Exactly. Where I used to work there was a greasy cafe type place around the corner and the baps got wider the more stuff you ordered. If you ordered the Full Monty the burger bap was wider than my head. MY HEAD.
      You’re damn right I would order it every time I went in. It was glorious…and very unhealthy, but also glorious.

  • Count Regal Inkwell@pawb.social
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    3 months ago

    In my boyfriend’s hometown they used to have this restaurant that served this thing called a hubcap burger

    And it was indeed, wide enough to be the hubcap of a car, while being basically flat.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    3 months ago

    The A&W thing is more about Americans sucking ass at math than the difference between a wider or taller burger.

    They had a 1/3lb burger and dipshits thought the 1/4lb was bigger because they don’t understand fractions.