• DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 days ago

    CHUDs when they find out everyone is only nice to them because they’re forced to. Every “alpha bro”? Every “lovable asshole”? Secretly hated behind their backs.

    My condolences to anyone who had to cut ties with family. I have made great strides in my familial relationships, but I know not everyone has the privilege.

    • frosty99c@midwest.social
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      8 days ago

      And for the cases where they aren’t responsible, this is advertising. “Oh, your kid cut you off bc you’re a bigot, have you heard of the Epoch Times? If not, we’re sure you’ll love our bigoted content”

  • the older i get, the less time i make for people who don’t respect me. this has caused distress for people who don’t respect me. i’m ok with this, because it used to distress me to accommodate them. took me a while to realize i wasn’t obligated to.

    people have always become estranged from some of their family, just as some friendships can fall away over space and time. i think the people who try to contextualize it as some impersonal process to which they are a victim might consider that we forge the chains we wear in life. that probably comes across as more dickish than i intend, but the people in my family who complain about family estrangement loudest are the people who have no friends or even coworkers they get along with either and can’t really ever seem to connect those dots.

    i kinda have a suspicion that people who think family is the only connection that matters are pretty much shit at people.

    • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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      7 days ago

      Word for Word my father. “You sister was good girl until she got to college”

      Me: you mean she was smart and bidded her time until she was independent enough to go low contact after years of you talking down to her and witnessing the things you did to her mom?

      My sister literally told me the only reasons she stayed local and didnt go no contact was so her mom wouldn’t be the only emotional punching bag.

  • Athena5898 [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    8 days ago

    I love my mother, but when we came out as trans she has gone minimum contact with us. I told her that any door closed is on her end.

    It sucks but its the way it is.

    My dad can fuck off though. I have no desire to ever patch that up. Fucking fox news jackass. It’s bad when at the age of 10 you realize the person on TV could tell your dad to do anything and he’d do it.

  • MaoTheLawn [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    8 days ago

    I think everyone’s taking this to always be political. It’s not always - sometimes it’s a personality clash - and I do think our generation can be too quick to cut someone off. But then again, the more you speak to older people the more you realise most families have some major rift in them caused by similar circumstances, and have done going back decades and decades.

    I just think we talk a big game about community, but at the same time see our relationships as sort of net positive/negatives. I think the reality is that some people you are bound to clash with, and we need to practice just having slightly more distant relationships rather than cutting someone off - which perhaps doesn’t really benefit everyone.

    I don’t know, personal issue for me, my sister cut my mother off, and while my mum was at points very difficult, they both clearly think about each other all the time. My mum cant get over it, and my sister constantly acts like shes over it but clearly carries a lot of emotion and trauma around the topic. I think they’d both be better off if they just stayed civil. Practice the short interaction rule. I know that I can’t spend more than a couple of nights around my mum before I can’t really take it anymore, and for my sister it would be okay if that were just a few hours over lunch.

    Oh well.

    • Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      7 days ago

      Such intense clashes of personality almost surely result in different political opinions. So while the reason might not necessarily be “I went no contact because of politics”, since every human action is related to politics or is political, it’s still basically about politics.

  • Damarcusart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    8 days ago

    I’m guessing that their methods will be things like “Make sure your child is heavily indebted to you financially, so they have to remain in touch to pay you back, threaten to sue them if they don’t” and “Threaten to report your child to the police for the drugs if they talk about leaving you.”