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godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 days ago

charlie kirk admits he doesnt know how to wipe his doodoo butthole

hexbear.net

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charlie kirk admits he doesnt know how to wipe his doodoo butthole

hexbear.net

godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 2 days ago
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  • peeonyou [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    22 hours ago

    i used to have to itchiest of bungholes until i bought a bidet… haven’t had to itch in over a year now and I’ll never go back

  • neomachino@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    17 hours ago

    My son has always eaten rice with his hands since he started eating solids. He’s not a big utensil guy. I started following him and doing the same.

    Luckily we’re able to do this because we don’t spend any time scratching our asses through the day.

    My son is 3 and has better hygiene than this guy.

  • FidelChadstro [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    kelly smear campaign

    • elpaso [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      God y’all are hilarious

  • OptimusSubprime [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Charlie Kirk, self-proclaimed “Christian”, forgetting about Matthew 15:11.

    11 What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.

    i-cant Charlie Kirk defiling himself every time he opens his mouth or types.

    EDIT: Jesus was responding earlier to something mentioned in Matthew 15:1-2

    15 Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, 2 “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!”

  • underisk [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    if your asshole is so itchy its a food safety hazard then you probably need to get some kind of powder for that, charlie

    • GiantSpoonWielder@lemmygrad.ml
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      2 days ago

      Time for his de-worming treatment.

      • Robert_Kennedy_Jr [xe/xem, xey/xem]@hexbear.net
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        2 days ago

        This is slander, my people would never go near Charlie Kirk’s lower intestines.

        • TheLepidopterists [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 day ago

          i-cant

      • NuraShiny [any]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        But that would kill all his fans!

        Wait! I support this plan!

      • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        Ivermectin

  • comrade_pibb [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    scratch Charlie Kirk’s anus and a fascist bleeds

    • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      tagline

  • Umechan [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    Can’t believe he revealed that he likes to finger his hole.

    I’m guessing this is about banana leaf rice or something. Eating rice and curry with your hands is common in India and other countries with a large Indian diaspora like Malaysia. The places that serve it generally have a sink in the dining area so you don’t have to go to the restroom just to wash your hands.

    • DengistDonnieDarko [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      Charlie Kirk’s opinion on India and the people within may surprise you. You may want to take a seat for this one.

      • Umechan [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        It wouldn’t surprise me if he had terrible opinions about India. I was just pointing out that shaming people for eating rice with their hands is ridiculous.

    • TrustedFeline [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      He fingers his hole right before interviews is the implication

      • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        whom amongst us

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 day ago

    I mean yeah it was a bit of culture shock the first time I visited southeast Asia and saw people eating rice with their bare hands but it didn’t make me instantly think of doodoo encrusted buttholes

    • godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 day ago

      maybe its just cause im middle eastern and a lot of our food is eaten by scooping it with bread using your hands but i dont see why its even anything worth noting that someone’s eating rice with their hands

      when ameripigs buy a pack of M&Ms they dont eat them with a spoon. small foods can be eaten with hands too all over the world. its not just their borgor and hot dog

      • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        Yes but those are white foods

        • BakerBagel@midwest.social
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          1 day ago

          Is rice not white in southern Asia?

          • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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            1 day ago

            the yellow filter Hollywood always applies in post makes everything look sort of beige

            • vovchik_ilich [he/him]@hexbear.net
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              23 hours ago

              Chinese grey rice

      • emdash [comrade/them, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        I eat my lunch by scooping it with flatbread almost every day, and the whities at work still stare at me for it

      • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        ngl I did notice it because I am a dainty midwestern lad, but my first thought was “wait did they not give him any bread?”

  • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    do you reach into your pants to scrape your anus directly, charles

    • Robert_Kennedy_Jr [xe/xem, xey/xem]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      He just assumes everyone also gets pink eye several times a month.

    • TheWolfOfSouthEnd [none/use any]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      Bet he gets a finger right up there.

  • electric_nan@lemmy.ml
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    1 day ago

    I wonder how charlie eats his dothogs and hamberders, or fried chicken.

    • MizuTama [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      1 day ago

      With his feet like a civilized man

  • BodyBySisyphus [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Charlie Kirk Announces He Has Smeared Assjuice On Everyone He Has Ever Shaken Hands With, Which Is Pretty Much What They Deserve

    • CloutAtlas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      It’s the diet version of JD Vance’s touch of death. Touch of suffering?

      • StalinIsMaiWaifu@lemmygrad.ml
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        1 day ago

        The cheese touch

      • BodyBySisyphus [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        The ol’ E. coli try

      • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 day ago

        touch of blech

  • LangleyDominos [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    I keep my hands clean by using an anus-scratching fork.

  • Rom [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    God they really don’t have anything against him, do they?

    • fox [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      Call him a socialist Communist fascist and people go “I don’t care what he is, he’s making life affordable and he’s hot”.

      Call him an antisemite and people go “Alright good fuck Israel” or go “But he was endorsed by a Jewish candidate”.

      Call him a Muslim and people go “yeah and?”.

      Say he’s going to make all the billionaires leave NYC and people go “Yeah fuck em if they stay they’re paying their taxes or getting Luigi”.

      • GenderIsOpSec [she/her, kit/kit's]@hexbear.net
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        frothingfash HE EATS WITH ONLY HIS HANDS!!!

        jerma-burger yeah, ok.

  • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Does…. Does Charlie Kirk not wash his hands?

    • MemesAreTheory [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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      2 days ago

      Are you kidding? Touching another man’s hand is obviously gay, just like washing your butthole. The safest thing to do is never touch your hands together and absolutely under no circumstances can you wash your butthole.

      No rules about not scratching your butthole though, that’s just what the good lord intended we do with our hands after all.

      • prole [any, any]@hexbear.net
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        If God didn’t want me to put it up in there and wiggle it around a little, why’d he make my finger fit so well?

        • MemesAreTheory [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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          THIS IS MY HOLE, IT WAS MADE FOR ME!

          • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            2 days ago

            We really need that sicko emoji because I’d be posting it non-stop.

  • OhHiMarx@lemmygrad.ml
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    In Charlie’s defense, he’s a literal giant festering anus and it would be basically impossible for him to keep his hands clean (cuz they’re perpetually poopy anus hands)

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