[Jesus sits on a rock, speaking]
A new command I give you:
Love one another
[an angry character talks back to Jesus]
What if they’re something bad like gay, trans, brown, or communist though?
[Jesus is facepalming on his rock]
I don’t want to be a messiah anymore
actually, many scholars today believe jesus most likely was purple, as a result of the water in his body being transmuted into wine. this is why in modern catholic tradition, wine is used to represent the blood of christ.
grapes are purple, it makes sense.
Guy was a walking DUI, with a BAC of 100%.
The real reason he was crucified. You need to go to the apocrypha of Thomas to find out about how many times he ran over Lazarus with that mule before he skipped town for three days.
I’ve read Thomas. Jesus was real little shit as a kid. I guess being all-powerful is hard to handle as grade schooler.
this is why the bible contains no mention of jesus driving a car or reciting the alphabet backwards
Dude walked straight into a lake
i mean he was chronically wasted. he thought it went alpha, omega, delta, gamma…
wouldn’t the BAC be around 15% though? 100% would be for distilled stuff, and while an appalachian jesus sounds rad, i don’t think he ever did water into moonshine.
If his blood were wine it would have an abv of between 8-14 percent, although I believe wine was significantly diluted back then.
At that point id argue it is an ABC
Can’t do a blood test if there’s no blood to begin with.
You can try to say this in a crowd of the followers of the religion of peace about their prophet. Hope you can run fast and you have a place to hide.
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I think with a BAC of 100% I would also be seeing god…