Call me when they get a baseball team. I wanna see the St. Louis Cardinals square off against the Actual Cardinals.

i ain’t playin this game

motherfucker could’ve died of a ruptured appendix and they’d still probably claim Bill Gates remote-detonated a microchip in his bloodstream to do it

Obviously not. Too small a target.

Unlikely, as she has never displayed the succubus’ ability to assume a form which is pleasing to mortals.

This is actually a couple blocks from my house!

Or at least it will be once I finish packing, buy a plane ticket, and find a decent wholesaler for log cabins with chicken’s feet.

(It’s in Taipei, apparently)

“Okay, fine, just this once, you can be a little afraid, as a treat.”

…Yeah, this is fully just somebody’s blog and I can’t even view it without creating an account. Last time I saw something like this it was just a bunch of LLM-generated nonsense summaries of other news articles that clearly didn’t have an actual person double-checking their work.

I can’t, of course, confirm if that’s what this is, because I can’t view it without creating an account, but even that in itself isn’t very reassuring, credibility-wise.

and for that not-so-special someone…

Just don’t forget to use a VPN so your ISP can’t see what cargo ships you’re plundering.

And please don’t invite people to meet me, either.

And I hate the modern era of algorithm-driven half-assed self-censorship, so this should be great for both of us

Aye, my favorite of the Founding Fathers - BLACKBEARD!

And why do I need 27 guns? That’s right, for my 27 hands. Betcha feel real silly now, huh buster?

Texas Officials ‘Hurl’ NWS off Hell in a Cell, Trump Admin Plummets 15 Feet Through Announcer’s Table

and welcome to the jam

Much better for the environment than your typical coal-powered cat.

I feel like there’s gotta be a separate chart entirely for the late-'80s/mid-'90s sitcoms. Friends, Frasier, Seinfeld, Roseanne, Home Improvement, Wings - that’s an argument in and of itself.

But they’re definitely not in any box with “Good” under it.

For heaven’s sake, this is plain white text. Are we, as a people, so far gone that we cannot even take the extra step to add the plain white text with 10px drop shadow to the image after it’s generated? Surely a human must be involved at some point of this process - even if only to collect the ill-gotten gains - that can identify whether or not their nefarious trap is baited with brazen gibberish. Surely.

kinda disappointed it’s not a strandbeest with one of those litter-picker-upper sticks taped to the front