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LOCKMART@sh.itjust.works to NonCredibleDefense@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 3 months ago

Also, the Canadian army or something, but they didn't make this particular list.

sh.itjust.works

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Also, the Canadian army or something, but they didn't make this particular list.

sh.itjust.works

LOCKMART@sh.itjust.works to NonCredibleDefense@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 3 months ago
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  • Corngood@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    compact, tactical France

    Our France is 3x as big as the original and 99% ice. It also has stop signs that are incomprehensible to English speakers, so good luck figuring that out, invaders.

    • RedditWanderer@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Arrêt!

      • TobEnd@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        What?

        • don@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          Arrêt!

          • Sturgist@lemmy.ca
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            3 months ago

            They’re foreign dummy, they won’t understand until you repeat it several times at increasing volume.

            • anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              3 months ago

              ARRÊT!

              ARRÊT!

              • Sturgist@lemmy.ca
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                3 months ago

                Encore une fois! Avec… émotion!

                jazz hands

    • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksM
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      3 months ago

      Do you also have the “beware of ninjas”-sign they have along French highways?

      EDIT:

      If that’s not a warning about sudden shurikens, then what else can it be?

      • Something Burger 🍔@jlai.lu
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        3 months ago

        Don’t forget the folding chair:

        • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I don’t know if you have these, but I’m a big fan of “Tightly-Laced Corset Ahead”

          • dlhextall@sh.itjust.works
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            3 months ago

            Stupid, sexy Flandersroad

            • YourNetworkIsHaunted@awful.systems
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              2 months ago

              The road is actually in Belgium you don’t know it’s not.

        • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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          3 months ago

          When I was a little kid I always thought it was a car with legs, lol.

    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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      3 months ago

      You need to make them legible so that the invaders know to stop

    • faercol@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 months ago

      Your stop signs are more French than the stop signs in France

  • DaddleDew@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    They forgot to include Kinder Surprise eggs. Those are absolutely deadly to Americans.

    • KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de
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      3 months ago

      This gives me a visual of a heavily armored troupe of soldiers, with AT and maybe even a tank, all in full equipment, laying on the ground, not moving; and each has a Kinder Surprise in their mouth, lodged tight.

      • DaddleDew@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        They’re essentially used like light grenades

  • Rusty@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_hippo for confused non-canadians

    • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksM
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      3 months ago

      TIL…

      Fucken lol

    • zaphod@sopuli.xyz
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      3 months ago

      I assume it’s this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvPwJQXzHm0

  • nuke@sh.itjust.worksM
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    3 months ago

    How could you forget the degens from upcountry? We all heard what The Ginger and Boots did to that ostrich.

    • ramchak@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      Allegedly

    • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      And Canada Gooses! Canada Gooses are barrel-chested and majestic! The envy of all ornithologies!

      • nuke@sh.itjust.worksM
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        3 months ago

        You got a problem with Canada Gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.

    • not_so_handsome_jack@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      I heard it was a sick ostrich

      • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksM
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        3 months ago

        Allegedly

  • optional@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    Yesterday I learned that Keanu isn’t USian but in fact Canadian. Today I wonder how he’s not at the top of this list.

    • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      He annihilates 3/4 of the secret services, kills or at least mortally wounds most of Trump’s stooges (including Musk and his human shield), then only gets caught after a 48 hour manhunt. Then the US is barely capable of keeping itself together, let alone to further protect his majesty, Donald I.

  • HobbitFoot @thelemmy.club
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    3 months ago

    The PATH is a wild place.

    • mx_smith@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      For those that don’t know https://www.toronto.ca/explore-enjoy/visitor-toronto/path-torontos-downtown-pedestrian-walkway/

  • Fizz@lemmy.nz
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    3 months ago

    Underestimating the Mounties on a mountain is a huge strategic mistake.

  • theUwUhugger@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Lets not forget ab the large draftsble moose population!

    • GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Never, ever get into an argument with a moose.

      Forget pumas, those fuckers are the real apex predator of The North. 😨

      • theUwUhugger@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        There are pumas in the north america?!???!?

        • GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Homie, mountain lions range from Mexico to Alaska!

          https://www.forestwildlife.org/cougars-pumas-panthers-mountain-lions-difference/

        • kersploosh@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          We call them cougars, or mountain lions, or catamounts, but it’s all the same cat. Sometimes they nibble on mountain bikers.

          https://www.nwpb.org/2018/05/20/cougar-attack-kills-and-injures-mountain-bikers-near-north-bend-washington/

  • Rose Thorne(She/Her)@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    I dunno.

    I’m kinda scared of becoming the crack spiders bitch.

  • Alabaster_Mango@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    Are there no 12’ skellingtons in the states? My town is filthy with them. I’ve never felt so safe as I do right now with all these gigantic bone daddies.

  • Justas🇱🇹@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    You forget the big cold.

  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Are there women in the Alberta Rat Patrol? If yes, is there one by the name “Jane Doe”?

  • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    what about the geese? can’t forget the geese!

    also I think Florida has Canadian geese year round, so Florida man would be immune

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