Canning funnel.

Makes it easier to get things into glass jars without the narrow opening that would get clogged in a smaller funnel.

Move in with your aunt and uncle now, before the dementia gets any worse.

Washington, Washington, fifty feet tall, made of radiation.

As big as Lake Ontario.

Suppose that, at a given moment, a certain number of people are engaged in the manufacture of pins. They make as many pins as the world needs, working (say) eight hours a day. Someone makes an invention by which the same number of men can make twice as many pins as before. But the world does not need twice as many pins: pins are already so cheap that hardly any more will be bought at a lower price. In a sensible world, everybody concerned in the manufacture of pins would take to working four hours instead of eight, and everything else would go on as before. But in the actual world this would be thought demoralizing. The men still work eight hours, there are too many pins, some employers go bankrupt, and half the men previously concerned in making pins are thrown out of work. There is, in the end, just as much leisure as on the other plan, but half the men are totally idle while half are still overworked. In this way, it is insured that the unavoidable leisure shall cause misery all round instead of being a universal source of happiness. Can anything more insane be imagined?

–Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness

As they slowly lose consciousness, a child says goodbye to stars, light, food, and all of existence, everywhere.

Yeah, you win.

I would date a rat

Seuss began writing Green Eggs and Ham after Bennett Cerf, his editor, bet him $50 (equivalent to $544 in 2025) that he could not write an engaging children’s book using a vocabulary of 50 words.

Well, well, well…

–Tim Kreider, The Pain Comics

Democratic leadership should call his bluff and pledge to work across the aisle to pay everyone $5000 even if they take control of the House and Senate.

I watched Star Wars: Resistance, and it was dogshit, but I wanted to finish it because a friend insisted that I had to, so I hit fast forward and watched it at 1.5x speed, and so help me it improved the timing of some of their terrible jokes.

Jim Gordon: What about escalation?

Batman: Escalation?

Jim Gordon: We start carrying semi-automatics, they buy automatics. We start wearing Kevlar, they buy armor piercing rounds.

Batman: And?

Jim Gordon: And, you’re wearing a mask. Jumping off rooftops.

Hmmm…

Big Enough - Kirin J. Callinan

Suppose that at a given moment a certain number of people are engaged in the manufacture of pins. They make as many pins as the world needs, working (say) eight hours a day. Someone makes an invention by which the same number of men can make twice as many pins as before. But the world does not need twice as many pins: pins are already so cheap that hardly any more will be bought at a lower price. In a sensible world everybody concerned in the manufacture of pins would take to working four hours instead of eight, and everything else would go on as before. But in the actual world this would be thought demoralizing. The men still work eight hours, there are too many pins, some employers go bankrupt, and half the men previously concerned in making pins are thrown out of work. There is, in the end, just as much leisure as on the other plan, but half the men are totally idle while half are still overworked. In this way it is insured that the unavoidable leisure shall cause misery all round instead of being a universal source of happiness. Can anything more insane be imagined?

–Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness, 1932

It’s really fucking difficult to accept that the same guy drew both of these cartoons.

“I just think it’s wrong to speed-grow a clone in a vat, then have a lifetime of happy memories of falling in love with each other implanted into the clone’s brain, and then get those same memories implanted in your brain, and then marry the clone, even if the both of you are deeply happy and satisfied with your marriage! It just doesn’t seem right!”

“God, Grampa, you can’t just say things like that out loud anymore!”