If I can’t have several hours a day I will take them on my sleep time. If I have only 2-3 hours a day it will have a cost.
I have never met my limit for how long I can go without human contact (outside of incredibly minimal “contact” such as posting here). I never measured specifically, but I know I’ve gone at least a month without contacting anyone and been perfectly content. When people were going nuts after a week of lockdown, I truly did not get it. I could have done that forever. I’d prefer it.
I might be kinda broken.
You’re working as designed !
If I recall… I have gone on at least 7-10 days without any beyond-surface-level human interactions and fared just fine (if not better than normal), so yes
It’s never enough. I wish I could test my limits and see, but even after a week alone I still crave more time to myself.
I did have an epiphany when I realized that spending time with my partner felt the same as spending time alone (which is a good thing.) Probably because he’s a natural loner just like me, so unlike most people, he doesn’t needlessly waste my social energy on inane things like small talk.
Enough that my girlfriend is threatening to leave me
Honestly, I’d rather be single than be with someone who demands more from me than I can comfortably give them. It’s been years since I dated someone neurotypical.
Both my partners are on the spectrum and we have a comfortable balance. The fact that nobody gets offended over bullshit like “tone of voice” goes a long way, too - we all have difficulty regulating that. We know it’s related to our energy levels, not to our emotions.
With that said, I hope whatever happens works out for you. I know it’s a painful experience to find such an incompatibility between yourself and a person you love.
I can spend most of a day with close friends but if I don’t spend a few hours alone then all of a sudden my vocabulary is limited to monosyllables and everybody’s too loud and annoying. Before I realized this, I thought I was just a really bad friend or something
How much time is there ? 😁
To answer with more than a rhetorical : energy depletes fast with complex social interactions (=with strangers, in a formal setting, anytime something is expected of me…). After that I become too tired to process social cues, infer correct tone, understand subtext, etc. Those are the first to go. Then after a point I also become overwhelmed on a sensory level. If I have to stay there for a longer time, back in the day I used to either 1.push through (this inevitably risks creating mistakes, misunderstandings, sometimes conflict) or 2.slither away under some excuse, or even completely stealthily.
Nowadays however, I realize that this is who I am, and my struggle is legitimate, and I can only do my best. So now I just say it :My brain is wired in a way that makes it difficult to survive long interactions, such as this one. I will have to leave now to protect my mental health. Please do not mistake my departure for something else : it is only caused by fatigue. I had a good time, even if I did not express it very outwardly. Bye Cindy
I feel like I should add I don’t have a diagnostic of any kind
More…
I have a small circle of people I can spend time with nearly without limit, but yeah in general I avoid as much time around people as possible just because I find it a needless expenditure of energy.
all of it
yep
Some of it.
Sometimes a lot.
A looot of it. Ideally, I will participate in one social event a week on average. I can go up to like 3 times in a week but I will need more recharge time after that.
I used to be in a relationship and live with a roommate but I don’t think I would be able to do that nowadays. Being alone with my hobbies in my perfectly clean and organized apartment is just pure bliss, ya know?
Sometimes I get so lost in my hobbies and hyperfixations that I feel like I could completely forget about other people. This doesn’t seem healthy at all though so I actively push myself to regularly keep in touch with the few good friends that I have.
Min. 3 hours a day just to not trigger my chronic migraines. More so a sensory than a social thing, but I run a much later schedule than most because of it.
I recently learned that Neurodiversity is an umbrella term. It‘s the concept that both Neurotypical and Neurodivergent people exist and should coexist. Meaning that no single person is actually Neurodiverse because you can‘t be both at the same time. It kind of broke my brain for a moment when I learned this so I hope this doesn‘t make anyone uncomfortable.
But to answer your question: It depends. When all my needs are met and I have a good routine I can be around people for 10 hours a day, 6 days a week easily. Sunday is usually my alone time then. Outside of my routine or when there is barely a routine, it‘s reduced to maybe 5 hours a day around people at best and I need a whole weekend for myself.
It depends on what I do with the rest of my time. I used to do solitary contract analysis in a cubicle/my home and I needed very little alone time outside of work. Now I work as a teacher and at a bakery and need a lot of alone time, like at least an hour per day and a day per week. I don’t always get it, but I’m much saner when I do.
