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InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to askchapo@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 个月前

At 2pm Trump is going to address the nation. What is he going to say? Ironically or unironically.

hexbear.net

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At 2pm Trump is going to address the nation. What is he going to say? Ironically or unironically.

hexbear.net

InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to askchapo@hexbear.netEnglish · 1 个月前
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  • lurker_supreme [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    He will announce the dissolution of the United States of America. He has written a new constitution to form The United Americas of Trump and begin his 1000 year AI assisted reign.

    • orlando [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 个月前

      not the dissolution i wanted

      • ScrubsFloorsInHyrule [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 个月前

        But the one we deserve

  • dead [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    He’s going to sign the executive order to rename ‘Artificial Intelligence’ to ‘Super Intelligence’ like he promised during his UNGA speech.

    • QuillcrestFalconer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 个月前

      Honestly this one sounds extremely plausible

    • plinky [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      i wonder if that renaming shenanigans fulfills some performance metrics of stock options for some ai companies, allowing them to vest or some other bs

      • dead [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        I think all of the Trump renaming things goes back to the removal of confederate monuments from federal property in 2015. Since then, there was all the culture war stuff of football teams renaming, the rebranding of Aunt Jemima, etc. I think this made chuds think that renaming things is some sort of power flex.

        The announcement that Trump made today was about opening a new steel plant in Iowa.

  • WELCOMETHRILLHO [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    He’s pregnant

    • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.net
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      1 个月前

      I’m the father.

      • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        1 个月前

        No I’M the father, I’m also your dad too, son.

        • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.net
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          1 个月前

          Can we play catch today?

          • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 个月前

            Go bother your mom, it’s my day off.

            • Shaleesh [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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              1 个月前

              Go play catch with your son, he’ll be grown and gone far away before you know it. Savor what time you have left together.

              • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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                1 个月前

                …music fade in

                the cat’s in the cradle
                the silver spoon
                little boy blue
                and the man in the moon

                • 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                  The outdoor cat’s in the cradle actually

              • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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                1 个月前

                I will ignore my children while I’m with them then not want to see them until after the divorce.

                • Spongebobsquarejuche [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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                  1 个月前

                  😢

            • corgiwithalaptop [any, love/loves]@hexbear.net
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              1 个月前

              Mom says you have to play catch with me before we eat dinner

              • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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                1 个月前

                Figures she’d say that, anything to fuck me over.

  • orlando [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    everything computer

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 个月前

      Ah.

  • MaxOS [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    First four minutes: Iran is weaker than ever.

    Remaining 3 hrs and 42 minutes: the type of marble he is importing for the ballroom’s restrooms.

  • CARCOSA [mirror/your pronouns]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    lol why have you been crossposting this for years?

    he is going to call Hasan a tankie

  • Noodles4dinner [none/use any]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    Ironic: bud dwyer moment

    Unironic: Diesel export controls that will temporarily lower diesel prices here while dramatically raising them elsewhere. Then they will go right back up here.

  • SacredExcrement [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    He’s announcing a partnership between the federal government and McDonald’s for them to sponsor overhauling the entire White House, complete with a branding deal

    • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      the White House will now include a closed-loop McDonald’s Drive Thru just for the president to use in his official capacity while riding in his limo. a Filet O Fish with a Diet Coke will be the #1 and the McDonald’s will be known as Location #1.

  • CthulhusIntern [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 个月前

    He will announce that, because the elections of Biden and Obama were undeniably fraudulent, he will need to make up for the fraud by being president 12 more years.

  • 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    Ironic: Announcing that he’s cooking his German sudafed into crystal meth

    Unironic: Announcing that he’s cooking his German pseudoscience into Kristallnacht

    • WokePalpatine [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      It’s going to be oil-related. “Better start doing your freedom rations, patriots. You’re all being conscripted to Iran.”

    • QuillcrestFalconer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 个月前

      He’s announcing that America will finally complete the project of German Idealism

  • CloutAtlas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    Iran war getting unpopular, hard pivot to cartels/narco terrorists, will tactically nuke a fishing boat.

  • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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    I think Trump is going to announce his DOJ is doing a major bullshit investigation of some dem. It’ll be one of Trump’s low ever-on-the-boil bête noires. Biden? Obama? Less likely because it’s the afternoon and not prime time is that his DOJ is doing a major bullshit investigation of something involving voting like “millions and millions of illegals are voting and I’m stopping them.”

    Edit. If it’s voting or whatever - I expect some “official” follow up today or tomorrow probably as a speech by the AG.

  • jack [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    Trump’s transing

    • segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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      1 个月前

  • tenchiken@anarchist.nexus
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    1 个月前

    “Ladies and gentlemen… I made poopies.”

    (Thunderous applause from both viewers)

  • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    He’s gonna challenge Hasan Piker to 1 v 1 on Fortnight

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