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Dear {occupant/resident}, Our state-of-the-art advanced systems have determined that you have committed/are about to commit a crime of {fill-slot}. Authorities and/or your nearest neighbors and/or family will be notified (unless you are a member of our Elite Membership level). This is a notification required by local ordinance {cite}. Please reply to this message to agree and/or confirm receipt. Regards. {insert pricing-link + call-to-action}This has to be where trump is getting his crime stats from
What crime stats?
“Crime bad”
That crime stat. That is all we need to justify anything now apparently.
The true icing on the cake is him trying to fire someone on the fed for, wait for it… mortgage fraud!!
Let me get this straight, the literal king of mortgage fraud gets to fire people for what he does best. I can’t even.
