Dear House Centipede,

I appreciate your effort to hold up your obligations under our lease agreement. As you know, I provide you with free rent in exchange for your diligent efforts to eat any insects that may come into the house. Your immense size tells me you’ve been keeping up your end of the bargain.

I am writing to you about the incident this morning. Our agreement states that we must avoid each other at all costs. While I was brushing my teeth, you came scurrying out of the sink drain. Please avoid doing this in the future, as it creeped the hell out of me.

I thank your for your attention to this matter.