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BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Happy Father's Day.

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Happy Father's Day.

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BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • FancyPantsFIRE@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Jokes on them, we used IVF, they got picked for who knows what reason under a microscope.

    From your most photogenic swimmer.

    • Paradachshund@lemmy.today
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      1 year ago

      “Damn, look at the tail on that one!”

    • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 year ago

      Even in the old school way, this postcard is incorrect. The winner is rarely the fastest swimmer, as several sperm arrive at the egg before a single one is allowed inside.

      • samus12345@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, the egg decides who gets let in. “Happy Father’s Day from your most attractive (to Mom’s egg) swimmer”

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      Just saying, approximately 10% of IVF babies don’t have the genetics they think they do…

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    For the cheap and lazy.

  • Coasting0942@reddthat.com
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    1 year ago

    Not an expert but I don’t think it’s as simple as “fastest swimmer”.

    • RiverGhost@slrpnk.net
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      1 year ago

      And people forget that we’re also the egg.

      • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        The egg is actually the major part of it (mitochondria?)

        • RiverGhost@slrpnk.net
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          1 year ago

          Yes, the mitochondria and all the other organelles. We’re mostly egg.

          • far_university1990@feddit.de
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            1 year ago

            We support you until you ready to crack shell and come out

            • RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              🏳️‍⚧️

      • LifeBandit666@feddit.uk
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        1 year ago

        No no, people don’t forget the egg, it’s just that the egg is just a bloody smear without the magic serum.

        • uzay@infosec.pub
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          1 year ago

          And the serum is just a stain in your sock without the magic egg.

          • LifeBandit666@feddit.uk
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            1 year ago

            Exactly, it’s when the magic happens that it matters. Otherwise it’s smears all around

    • variants@possumpat.io
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      1 year ago

      The one that happened to show up when the mob made an opening*

    • driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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      1 year ago

      Thr ovulo selects the sperm and open the door for it.

    • theonyltruemupf@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      deleted by creator

  • MindTraveller@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    Actually, the fastest swimmer bangs his head on the egg’s shell and gets none.

    • Meron35@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Second sperm gets the yolk

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “You came for me, Dad.”

  • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    FLazy: Father’s Day/Date Sun, Jun 16, 2024 for the USA.

    You’ve still got like 2 weeks for the people who care.

    • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      Seriously, why did OP post this two weeks ahead of time

      • robotica@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Because outside of the US, Father’s day is in 4 days :)

        • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          In Germany father’s day was 3 weeks ago. But it’s actually a Christian holiday and people came to call it father’s day because we don’t have an official one and wanted a day for drinking.

          All people drink on father’s day though and we also drink on other days but that’s what we have now.

      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Poster-sized prints take a while.

        Just kidding, the idea of sending this to one’s own father is rather repulsive. Guess some of y’all are weirdos though and that’s cool :)

        • nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de
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          1 year ago

          These are the kinds of cards my wife might have given me before my son was old enough to pick one out for me.

        • balderdash@lemmy.zip
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, my dad would disown me again if I sent him this

  • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It’s a real joke of a card when you’re forced to hand it off to the man you’ve been told to call “dad” throughout life, knowing good and well he did NOT make any part of you.

    • emptiestplace@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Why did you write this here?

      • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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        Why did you bother reading it here?

        • emptiestplace@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          It was no trouble.

    • LifeBandit666@feddit.uk
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      1 year ago

      Oh I feel this comment, after watching my Wife’s mother do the same thing to her all her life.

      “Say hi to your new Dad!”

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      Your dad doesn’t have to be biologically related to you to be your dad. Hell, plenty of ones that are aren’t dads in any other sense. What matters if he was a good or shitty dad, not biology.

      • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        The card is about BIOLOGICAL fathers. If your dad’s gametes didn’t make you, then you might want to choose a different card.

        • samus12345@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Yeah, that too.

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    Yeah my mom was my dad for all but the first 3 years. My dad decided early he wanted another setup, so took off and got one. So somewhere out there i have a half brother and sister and all their resultant kin. We dont communicate

    • samus12345@lemmy.world
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      Thought you were saying your mom was trans at first.

  • asteriskeverything@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Read this a fascist swimmer and imo that is a much funnier card I’d wanna buy.

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