If you carry one thing with you today, let it be this: you are beautiful, you matter, and you are loved.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
Not so fun fact I learned today! They can reduce your SSI and make your spouse make up the rest if you get married. It even applies to common law marriage. That’s just straight up eugenics, but what do you expect from the world’s most evil, genocidal, settler-colonialist country in the world behind Isnotreal!
Hey comrades, do any of you know or have experience with dating apps for people with disabilities? I’m in my early 30s and have hit the point in my life where I would like to find a life partner. I looked around on the Reddit disability community but y’all know what’s up with Reddit users.
Does anyone have recommendations for jobs that don’t require customer interactions? I used to work as a kitchen porter and I liked that, but then I got moved to the bar and I hate that. Being a bartender is exhausting and people are so entitled and rude.
Approaching tasks is so stupidly hard. I can start cleaning the kitchen but then not finish it, even if it would only take me a minute to put something away and a few more to empty the dishwasher. I can take some clothes off of the line, but not all of them. Executive dysfunction is just stupid
I started feeling terribly dizzy this afternoon. The room was spinning. This happened before when I had a hemiplegic migraine, but I had no other symptoms. I was even worried I might be having another stroke. Don’t know what was going on with that. Got my next foot surgery tomorrow morning.
Gonna art. Be back in 2 hours.
thinking about social interactions
Like it’ll be someone recording someone bugging them and not leaving them alone and they caption something to the effect of “omg doesn’t he realize I’m uncomfortable”
And as much as I’m like, “leave this person alone holy shit”, part of me always wonders, what if the person doesn’t know?
That’s my nightmare, making someone uncomfortable and not picking up on it. The other person the rest of their day is like “Wow that creep” and I think the interaction went well. That person is just gonna go and creep more people out unintentionally, right??
Most people would probably say it isn’t your job to educate others. I am the type of person who would rather explain every misinterpretation and work through each misunderstanding though, because the logical part of my brain wants to avoid negative social outcomes and I see meta conversations as a way to work through that collaboratively.
But I mean, if they’re a perv, tell them to leave.
fighting some sinus stuff (climate have mercy lmao) but gonna have a good week.
Updating the shift app exactly one minute after they open up new shifts to see them all taken. Summer “break” my butt, I need moneeeeey
My medication is expensiiiiiive.
That sucks. With all my problems the only consolation is at least I don’t have to pay for meds. Maybe start a gofundme?
I have a stash if worst comes to worst. For now it’s just annoying.
You could open a sandwich stand instead and sell your sandwiches if no shifts open up again.
Brilliant. I made four sandwiches for art/hanging out at the park time.
Boiled potato, radishes, chives, red onions, chickpea mayo, salt and pepper on rye. Two also get capers.
Perfect, that’s a solid base to build your business on!
So I found out I’m not Autistic and it was a misdiagnosis for childhood trauma. I feel a little vindicated for that time I went to ABA training and the trainers would ask me why I was even there. But it also sounds like I have a much bigger mental hurdles to jump over.
I am happy to hear that you learned something so important about yourself. Like un_mask_me said, I hope your healing journey will be more accessible to you now that you know. That feeling of vindication must be bitter sweet.
Take care, friend, I believe in you
It’s interesting how trauma and a lot of disorder symptoms can overlap and manifest in similar ways. Hopefully the clarity around it can help with that part of your healing journey going forward.
I made a post here months ago about how I saw a book I owned being sold on ebay for over £100, so I tried to find my copy to sell, with no luck. It’s just happened again. I saw a book I’ve had since childhood going on ebay for £115, so I tried to find my copy, and I swear I remember seeing it on my bookshelf last year but now it’s gone. I did have my stuff moved out of my room temporarily last year as a builder came to fix a damp mouldy wall. Maybe it got lost somewhere while being moved. Why does this keep happening? And how? Two builders carried the bookshelf, with all the books in it, up to the attic and then back down when the repair was complete. It’s not up there and I watched them do it, nothing fell off. Things must just dematerialise into another dimension.
I am absolutely certain this is also the dimension the socks from the washing machine disappear to.
Joking aside, I sympathize with your frustration. The books can’t be gone, not really at any rate, and I’m sure they turn up eventually. Probably when you least expect it.
The thing is, last year my landlady took a load of books to the charity shop. I’m wondering if they somehow ended up being taken along too.
That’s unfortunately possible :/
It’s a series of books and number 10 is missing too though. I can’t see why someone would just give numbers 7 and 10 away and keep the rest, so maybe they did just fall out somewhere. None of it makes sense.
My surgical wound is infected now. Every day brings a new joy. I was hoping to avoid making more mutual aid posts until the end of the month but now I’ve got no choice, I need to get iodine items to treat this. And my next surgery is on Tuesday so the next lot will probably get infected too. So tired.
So sorry that it’s infected, was really hoping you could catch a break. Hopefully it will heal quickly and you can catch up on sleep.
Thanks. I’m kind of resigned to it now, I thought it would probably happen again. I just can’t fight germs off naturally.
I love all my immunocompromised comrades <3
why is disability pride month in the hottest month ever cant it be in like fall or something
Maybe it’s also in summer so you “can’t hide” physical disabilities as easily under a big jacket or something. I hope it’s an innocent reason, but it probably isn’t
Maybe they think it must be in dry weather or we will all slip over as we are unsteady on our feet or something.
addendum
I wish people would stop popping off live rounds with the fireworks
I hate this behaviour! Hope they pipe down soon. Maybe some earplugs would help?
It stopped around 3am, thankfully. Weirdly enough I struggle to wear ear plugs because my ear canals are incredibly tiny, not even surgery could widen one of them. I do use a noise maker app that helps a lot!
What’s a noise maker? Like white noise or something?
Yep, I have this app (on android) called White Noise Lite that I’ve used for years that lets me combine different noises like rain/white noise spectrums (pink, blue, green, etc.) that also has timers and alarm settings built in. It really helps block out stuff like traffic and hvac, which can drive me mad some times.
Do you listen through earphones?
Nope, I just crank the volume up on my phone speaker and keep it nearby. Sometimes I’ll snuggle it under part of my pillow so it’s as close to my ears as possible.
I’ve never heard an actual gunshot in my life, but I can totally imagine how terrifying it must be. Hope you got through the night alright
Guns are part of the ‘culture’ where I’m at, and you learn to pick out the differences. The scary part is knowing the idiots firing off during the holiday are wasted and/or high. Made it through okay, but I am tired this morning. Really hoping there isn’t more of it tonight.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.
And of course people play with guns especially when they’re on something. Inhibitions lowered and stuff like that. Urgh, hate it.
I’m glad nothing happened to you and I hope you can get some rest now or later today.
Thanks :)
Just helped sneak Chinese tourists into a restricted area for a better view. 🤫
I am not quite sure where to post this, so I’d prefer to share it with you lovelies. The healing journey is on a good way and while I’ve had setbacks, it’s still going well. However
I got a mail two days back that my storage compartment (for quite literally everything that I own, since I don’t have my own apartment atm) “possibly took some water damage”. As it turned when I went to check, the only thing that didn’t get damaged was my box of memorabilia and books, some of them aren’t even available for purchase anymore. While that was a huge load of my shoulders, my entire bed, including the mattresses, is a huge fucking sponge. A couple of other things got damaged too, which leaves me with having saved a box of books and mementos, two boxes of dishes and kitchen stuff, a chair and a cheap footrest. I don’t own much beyond that, and it’s never really bothered me, but I would’ve preferred to keep the bed. It was really nice.
I filed a damage claim offered by the company who rents out these compartments and if all goes well, I should get compensation for the entirety of the broken stuff. But, you know, paying nearly a 100 bucks a month for 2 years to store something securely, I’m pissed that it wasn’t secure. Not gonna get that money back, and it wasn’t even enough to get all my stuff back.
Worst part is that I just feel numb about it. I nearly lost my most precious books and mementoes, and my only reaction was to write the damage claim.
Update: The damage claim is being processed, I received multiple profuse apology mails from the owner of the storage unit and they’ll refund this month’s and last month’s rent. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than not getting anything it all.
Ohhh love, I’m so sorry you’re going through this . I’m really glad your special books and memories were saved, but it’s so unfair you lost so much.
Sending you all my love and hoping the claim goes smoothly. Please take care of yourself 💜
Thank you Onandrah
jesus that sucks, im so sorry that happened
Thank you
Glad to hear you’re healing. Sorry to hear about all your property getting damaged. It’s outrageous that they won’t also refund you for the years of storage. Maybe a no-win no-fee lawyer or blast them on social media until they reimburse you fully? If you share the name of the company maybe we can start an email campaign to get them to refund you properly.
I’ll see what I can figure out, but I thank you for the suggestions. I don’t have any social media anymore, so I guess the lawyer would have to be it. But maybe I can get around the lawyer and figure out another way. I’ll see once they reply.
Thank you love
You could leave them a detailed negative review on trustpilot. I had an unsatisfactory experience with an optician once, left them a neg on trustpilot and the optician saw it and refunded me. Or we could all bombard them with emails. Hope you get it sorted one way or another.
That is a good idea full of deviousness and subterfuge
I might just do the trustpilot thing, thanks!Make sure it’s polite and factual but very detailed about all the things they did wrong (letting your stuff get damaged, refusing to refund for the years of storage and anything else you can think of.) No angry ranting. Include the total amount they owe you including the years of storage. Include dates for authenticity. Sound sensible and rational, no raging, just pure facts, they’re more likely to take you seriously.
I will, I got some practice writing these types of complaints, so I’m actually kinda looking forward to it.
$2400 might still be small claims court, idk if it’s ever possible to get a company like that for breach of contract or false advertising or the like
I don’t know either. What I am going to do is ask for the money for the stuff that got damaged and for an immediate cancellation of the contract. This isn’t gonna be great, but that’s the stuff that I can get back, even according to their user agreement. If they refuse, I might just go ahead and figure out what I could get them on.
Water damage is awful, I’m sorry you ended up losing a bunch of stuff because of it. Hopefully the process goes smoothly with the claim and you can replace what you need quickly without issue. I think it’s normal to feel a little numb when dealing with stressful stuff like that, on top of everything else. Hope you’re not too hard on yourself for it.
Thank you love
I hope I get the money back too and everything will turn out fine. As to being hard on myself, I don’t think I am. If anything, I feel surprised at my apathy for the whole situation. Idk if that makes sense, at least I hope it does.
It does, I definitely get the muted feeling that depression can cause. I guess I was trying to say that even if the reaction wasn’t as strong as you expected, it’s okay. Is it possible after so much time had passed some of the attachment to a lot of the stuff just faded?
It’s alright, thank you again :)
I am very happy about the mementos surviving, yet the stuff that didn’t survive really had no real emotional value. A bed, as personal as it is, is still just a bed. And the other stuff that got damaged is pretty much the same type of utility objects (a coffee machine for instance). I guess what feels so strange about it is that I usually am very energetically emotional about bad things happening, yet with this storage unit, I got scared very briefly, but then I felt almost indifferent.
Ah, that definitely makes sense, especially feeling weird about it. Sometimes talking it out with someone one on one can help, even if it’s just swapping stories over a cuppa. My DMs are always open for my comrades.
People react to trauma at different speeds and in different ways, and you shouldn’t feel bad about not feeling trauma for not losing precious mementos. I hope you get money for a new bed, anything else would be stupid.
Me too. I’m actually slightly versed in trauma from personal experience, so it’s not alien to me. I just know I usually have stronger reactions to traumatizing events and this one feels almost underwhelming. I think it’s the depression adding another layer of apathy to these experiences.
Thank you for listening
Maybe. Maybe the relief of not losing something softened the hit? At any rate I don’t think you should blame yourself for not feeling trauma. I’m always ready to listen.
Thank you love, I appreciate it & you
