I feel much the same way.

A few years ago I was in a busy cafe with my landlady and her elderly male friend. The friend decided to start loudly questioning why I didn’t have a boyfriend or husband. He announced to the entire cafe full of people that I must be a lesbian and invited them all to speculate on whether that was the case. I was surrounded by these people all staring at me, laughing and discussing my sexuality. Of course there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian but being the centre of attention and having hordes of strangers questioning my sexuality and what is “wrong” with me was so humiliating. I don’t understand why people are so obsessed with other people’s sex lives.

I have certainly come across some hypocrisy and lack of concern for others, both here and on lemmy. For instance I’ve had someone tell me that it doesn’t matter at all what happens to me personally, whether I go hungry, homeless or unsafe, all that matters is that I “agitate for the cause.” I’ve had one person write an in-depth analysis of how I should harm myself, several people tease me for weeks on end over mutual aid (promising aid as a joke and not delivering), someone giving me what basically amounts to nationalistic abuse in the form of using my nationality as to why I’m a horrible person who shouldn’t be listened to, and all kinds of other stuff. Luckily most people here are kind, but I’ve seen first hand here that just because someone is a leftist doesn’t automatically make them a decent person. Some people are just using it as a way to vent their frustrations on to others rather than really wanting to help.

Oh, thanks, I see what I did wrong now. I was putting the content right at the bottom instead of on the underscores.

Thank you.

An internet browser. I am terrible with technology anyway though.

It’s the only thing I’m worried about. At previous reassessments they have used the most spurious excuses to deny my benefit claims. Straight after my stroke, I was on the waiting list waiting for physio to start, and they used that as an excuse to stop my benefits: “You are not having rehabilitation for the stroke, therefore it is my judgment that you are capable of the physical activities you say you cannot do,” or words to that effect. The fact that I was on the waiting list for treatment was ignored. Also I had spoken during the assessment about how the stroke had caused me to lose a quarter of my vision which was giving me trouble crossing the street safely etc, and the assessor suggested I could just walk around constantly rotating my head 360 degrees to achieve a full range of vision, and so it was decreed that my visual issues would not be taken into account and I was given zero points and my money stopped. They will use literally any excuse and make me go through appeal.

I think I’ll start with going back to keeping a dream diary as that’s easier than thinking up new stuff myself.

Thanks. On the plus side it looks like I’ll be getting discharged from physiotherapy soon, as it is not working and the physio basically said it’s a waste of NHS appointments. It’s tiring going to physio and doing all the exercises all the time for no reward. I’ve only kept up with it this long for my benefit claim, and I’m long since resigned to being permanently disabled. My only worry is that at my next assessment the DWP will use this against me, saying “You’re not having physio? Then there is nothing wrong with you!” But if I’ve spent years having physio and it hasn’t worked, how is that my fault? I will ask the physio to write me a letter saying I’ve had all the treatment and it hasn’t worked and they won’t treat me any more, but the DWP will only accept letters that are less than 6 months old and by the time of my next assessment it will be older than that.

I removed it because the spoiler tag just didn’t seem to be working properly for me.

This is the stuff of night mares.

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Spent all day at the hospital today. Just horrible. First I had my stroke clinic check up, which I hate because they are so pushy about trying to make me have extra meds and blood tests. They were over an hour late for my appointment and then sent me down to the phlebotomist where I had to wait for nearly another hour to be seen, dreading it the whole time as I am very squeamish and sometimes faint. Then I had my eye clinic appointment in the afternoon and they are always so late and do so many tests and you have to wait to be seen in between each test, in the end I was sitting around in the hospital from about 10am-6pm and now I am just exhausted. I wouldn’t keep going through this if I didn’t need to do it for my benefit claim, it doesn’t even bring me any health benefits. It means disabled people don’t have the same rights as everyone else - if other people want to quit medical treatment they can just do that, but if I want to quit they’ll use it as an excuse to impoverish me to death.

Thanks for the bump!

I used to keep a dream diary and really enjoy going back and reading them, maybe I’ll at least try that again.

The trouble is my brain is such mush I don’t even have ideas any more.

Thank you so much! I just got home from a horrible day at the hospital to find this gift card and it’s such a relief to have at least one problem off my plate. I really, really appreciate it. I only got one other response for £10 so without you I don’t know what I would have done.

I’m already banned, I just can’t stop reading it.

I have spent my life wanting to write fantasy novels (more in the vein of Narnia though) but my brain has turned to mush from years of illness and medications.

Good ideas, thanks. I’ll see if I can find some that interest me.