I’m not really qualified for or comfortable with addressing most of this, but could you help me understand what you mean by “believe”? Because if you are able to tell me right now, during the “magic kick,” that it’s probably not real and connect it to your disorder, then it sounds like you are describing that you experience it as being real but might not believe it, like how someone might have a hallucination that they know isn’t real but that doesn’t directly change their experience of it. Am I misunderstanding you?
Yeah, I think it’s a lot like that. Other than just hallucinations, I can have delusions which are a patently false belief that have evidence against that you are incapable of not believing. I did a ritual earlier today and felt the effects. (granted it could’ve been a purely psychological effect because that was the main goal of the ritual anyway) But I am aware of dialectical materialism, and I know it is the accurate way to perceive reality. Just sometimes I find myself stuck in this mindset.
When I was closest to this kind of stuff I wss pushing my brain fucking hard with drugs. Mostly acid and speed so I wouldn’t be sleeping for days at a time and ess tripping hard too often. It put me in a PLACE mentally that feels very similar to what you described. I also felt stuck in it while not like truly believing in my heart of hearts it was real. I don’t know where im going with this entirely aside from i think I get what you’re talking about
That sounds a lot like it. That’s one reason I try not to mess much with drugs: I feel like my brain does some of that on its own, and I don’t need to help it get there. Not meaning to judge people who do use those drugs; that’s just my reason for staying away.
I’m not really qualified for or comfortable with addressing most of this, but could you help me understand what you mean by “believe”? Because if you are able to tell me right now, during the “magic kick,” that it’s probably not real and connect it to your disorder, then it sounds like you are describing that you experience it as being real but might not believe it, like how someone might have a hallucination that they know isn’t real but that doesn’t directly change their experience of it. Am I misunderstanding you?
Yeah, I think it’s a lot like that. Other than just hallucinations, I can have delusions which are a patently false belief that have evidence against that you are incapable of not believing. I did a ritual earlier today and felt the effects. (granted it could’ve been a purely psychological effect because that was the main goal of the ritual anyway) But I am aware of dialectical materialism, and I know it is the accurate way to perceive reality. Just sometimes I find myself stuck in this mindset.
When I was closest to this kind of stuff I wss pushing my brain fucking hard with drugs. Mostly acid and speed so I wouldn’t be sleeping for days at a time and ess tripping hard too often. It put me in a PLACE mentally that feels very similar to what you described. I also felt stuck in it while not like truly believing in my heart of hearts it was real. I don’t know where im going with this entirely aside from i think I get what you’re talking about
That sounds a lot like it. That’s one reason I try not to mess much with drugs: I feel like my brain does some of that on its own, and I don’t need to help it get there. Not meaning to judge people who do use those drugs; that’s just my reason for staying away.
Ive done everything to a decent excess and can honestly say, you aren’t missing much.
Thank you for explaining.