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ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 2 days ago

shit on their dime comrades

lemmy.ml

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shit on their dime comrades

lemmy.ml

ComradeSharkfucker@lemmy.ml to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 2 days ago
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  • Modest_Toxic@feddit.uk
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    2 days ago

    I used to work with someone who went for a shit 10 minutes into starting work. Took a full hour in the toliet. Then later would have his lunch for 30 minutes then go for another hour long shit

    • j5y7@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      That’s efficient compared to the people I worked with. Next you’ll tell me they didn’t leave shit stains on the toilet seat.

  • Apocalypteroid@anarchist.nexus
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    2 days ago

    A paid poop is one of life’s simple pleasures

    • billwashere@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Not as big of a deal when your salary.

      Except pooping at work means less people and animals to come talk to me when I’m doing it.

      • Goferking0@ttrpg.network
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        1 day ago

        Even when on salary pooping on company time is amazing

    • turtlesareneat@piefed.ca
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      2 days ago

      Honestly a heated bidet is better. Now I’m not saying give up bathroom breaks - smoke a J in there, or go wander in a park for a while. But my bunghole only appears when there’s an oscillating jet of 100* water ready to blast it spotless.

  • kambusha@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    How does it go? The boss gets a dollar, I get a dime. That’s why I shit on company’s time.

  • ORbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    Why do people censor things?!

    • axx@slrpnk.net
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      2 days ago

      What i want to know is what he person who put a line through the word shit here thought they were achieving?

      It’s so entirely transparent and useless, what’s going through that person’s head?

    • TwistedTurtle@sh.itjust.works
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      Seriously, it’s really pissing me off. Corporations already have way too much influence over tech and culture, why are we surrending more ground and self-censoring to appease them. These people need to find some self-respect and stop kowtowing to the algorithms.

    • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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      Because the people who tell you to censor things are fucking annoying.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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        2 days ago

        Can you edit out the fuck in your comment it sounds really aggressive.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          2 days ago

          Only if you can fucking edit the fuck out of yours /s

          • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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            2 days ago

            Don’t tell me what to do.

            • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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              2 days ago

              Only if you don’t.

        • daggermoon@piefed.world
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          2 days ago

          I know you’re being sarcastic but it’s hilarious coming from someone with your username. Big fan of yours btw.

  • orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts
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    2 days ago

    I work from home, mothafucka.

    Jim Carrey as The Mask saying ‘somebody stop me!’ to himself in the bathroom mirror

  • Carl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    doggirl-lol that stock photo on the right

  • misterfenskers@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Shit your pants and go home early

  • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.

    I came across this evidence when inspecting homeless encampments which was also when I came to learn most of them fucking had jobs.

    Then covid came around and all the remote workers started blowing up their septic systems because they’d never been used so much and during the daytime.

    The sanitary overlap between tent cities and fancy farmhouses is much larger than you’d expect.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      Back when I worked for a health department there was pretty good evidence that people mostly shit at work.

      I mean it’s where people spend a significant amount of their awake time and plenty of people start the workday at the coffee machine, with coffee being a notorious poop accelerant.

  • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    2 days ago

    Every “oh yeah just poop on company time” motherfucker just casually bragging about their platinum laced anus that can withstand being sandpapered to death by the world’s cheapest toilet paper (which should be banned btw)

    • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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      Bring your own toilet paper. You’ll still make a profit

      • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        Im cool but i’m not so cool i can ignore hushed whispers of “that’s the guy… yea, brings his own tp, yea, weird shit”

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          I’ve brought my own TP for when I have to go into the office for… forever. If I can’t be home with my bidet, I’m already in nightmare shit land. Might as well have some small comfort in my soft paper with the wavy tear lines…

          • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            2 days ago

            well, nobody says shit about you, you’re cool

            • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              2 days ago

              Likewise, you’d be fine to indulge in the niceties of the shittiverse!

        • ZWQbpkzl [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          2 days ago

          Bring a whole fresh pack of the good stuff to work and stock all the toilets. Do it once but never again.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          2 days ago

          Fair nuff. Sounds like a personal battle!

          • LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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            2 days ago

            every battle is a personal battle in a way, even a real battle, like, personally i wouldn’t be there

            • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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              2 days ago

              Lmao! I hope you have a good day

      • Johnny_Arson [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        2 days ago

        As I said in my other comment, my office actually stocks us with good enough tp I steal some almost every day for home. Haven’t paid for shit tape in almost a year now.

        • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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          I’m personally not a fan of TP, it’s anti human as it creates a pay to poop system. After the revolution everyone will have a bidet. We will not subject ourselves to poopy butts, anymore!

    • SpacePanda@mander.xyz
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      2 days ago

      I bring wet wipes to work.

  • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    *shit

  • Squidious@lemmy.ml
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    Walk to the farthest toilet in the facility that you can. Preferably the one near HR or upper management.

  • Zerush@lemmy.ml
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    2 days ago

    Not longer my problem

  • yellowfattybean [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    After 10 years of employment robbing me of autonomy over my bodily processes due to “the rush” and “the bell schedule”, I now get to poop when I need to. I’m with comrade leeroy, though. If I go more than once a day, I’m chafing and itching the rest of the day cuz of the barbaric paper they expect us to use

    • Johnny_Arson [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      My work actually has pretty nice tp. In fact I steal some every day before I clock out. Haven’t bought a roll in almost a year lmao.

  • 9488fcea02a9@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    I poop twice a day at the office

    • Signtist@bookwyr.me
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      I’ll poop at the beginning of the shift and “poop” toward the end when I want to chill undisturbed on my phone for a bit.

  • qkall@friendica.world
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    @sharkfucker420 i was known to poop on the clock so much folks would come find me to issue their questions.

    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      How many of those questions were about diet and laxative recommendations?

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