It’s now my one year “anniversary” of my psych med “journey”. I just feel so frustrated.

The providers always ask me how I’m doing and if I think X drug we are trying right now helps. I always have no fucking clue.

I keep a mood log and everything, but I cannot for the life of me discern any sort of pattern for any of these. One month will be fantastic and the next month will be so horrible and painful it’s like someone is boring a hole through my body with a branding iron.

My provider is having me take the GeneSight test to figure out if there is a particular option I should be trying. But I am just so exhausted with this that I’m considering the next med to be my final straw.

I do NOT have bipolar disorder. I do NOT have chronic low mood. I do NOT have lack of emotions. I do NOT have PTSD. I have periods of extreme, unbearable intensity with periods of normal in between. I have relational trauma. Since my issues are intermittent, I cannot for the life of me tell if I am ever helped by anything.

I am currently in an intensive DBT program. While it has been a lifesaver when I have “simple” problems, it does not touch the intense pain of others.

Some research I do seems to indicate my problem cannot be even minimally helped by meds, which is incredibly frustrating. I want even just a little bit of something to help reduce my pain. :(

How can I figure this out?

  • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    12·
    2 个月前

    No professional has diagnosed me, but from looking at things online, I seem to have traits of BPD and CPTSD.

    While I appreciate the time you took to sit here and think of a response to things, I just want to say that I honestly find this sort of “exercise cures you” stuff offensive. Again, I understand you are well meaning and not intending to hurt me. I understand that it worked for you. That’s great!

    I listened to the people that said exercise improves your mental health. I gave it a shot. I didn’t just give it a shot. I fully committed.

    Several years back I started running. I was surprised at how consistent I managed to be for so long. I ran every other day or every third day. I was consistent for 1.5 years somehow. I never managed to commit to something that long.

    But I never saw the benefit of “improved mood”. People on the internet would say “you’re just not running fast enough” or “you’re just not running hard enough”. So I did. I ran faster and faster and farther and farther. Before I ended up dropping the whole thing, I was consistently running 8 miles every other day. The longest I ran was 10 miles a few times.

    I kept going further and further and harder and harder hoping I would find the magic distance or speed that would improve my life. It never did.

    Running actually did impact my emotions, but in an unhelpful way. What running actually did was magnify my current emotions. You can see how this is a problem for someone who’s issue is suffering from extreme emotions. I didn’t want them to be more extreme. The happy parts were fun, but the lows would get so much worse.

    I tried so hard for so long consistently and it never helped me.

    Again, I appreciate your time to read and post here. But I really don’t like when people tout it as something that helps everyone when it doesn’t. Does it help some and is worth trying? Sure! But it’s not the cure all you think it is.

      • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
        13·
        2 个月前

        Thanks for ignoring and dismissing my lived experience and inensive, sustained, consistent efforts. Not sure why age matters. I’m in my 30s.

        • foggy@lemmy.worldEnglish
          21·
          2 个月前

          I am not dismissing your lived experience, I have been empathizing with it.

          You called a well known cure for your issues “offensive.”

          Don’t expect to call folks attempt to empathize with you and help you “offensive,” and subsequently be babied. Go for a walk or dont, idgaf dude.

          You can lead a horse to water… Stubborn as a mule… Etc.

          Good luck. Seems you’ll need it as much as I did.

          • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
            12·
            2 个月前

            I spoke at length about how I tried very hard for a very long time at the “well known cure”. You ignored me and continued to say that that was the cure all when I literally said that it did not work for me.

            I am offended because you completely dismissed this and just re-stated your original post. I am offended because it looks like you didn’t even read my response.

            Here is a reduced format of what this sounds like.

            You: X is the cure all

            Me: I tried X and did not see a benefit. Here is my experience with it.

            You: Cool story, bro but X is the cure all

            If you can’t see how this is unhelpful and offensive, I don’t know what to do tell you.

            • foggy@lemmy.worldEnglish
              2·
              2 个月前

              I am not interested in what you have to say. I provided you help. You called it offensive. Cool. Use it or don’t.

              Bye.

              • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
                13·
                2 个月前

                Thanks for ignoring what I have to say and invalidating me, friend. I hope others treat you with the same kindness you have shown to me.