I recently asked this community how you experience dysporia, however it seemed like no one had the same “symptoms” that i am currently experiencing and Im not really sure what it is.

Currently it happens somewhat regularly that I feel like someone ripped a gigantic hole into my chest. It is this type of hole that cant be filled. It devinetively is caused by my quite big desire to be a woman. So becoming what i dream of is the only way of combating this. “The hole” (I named it the void) fluctuates quite a lot in intensity. sometimes its relatively small and on other days it feels like an flesh made nightmare that you cant escape. There are the feelings of needles punctuating my chest or the feeling of an iron ring, thats wrapped around my chest that i have to fight against with every breath. Whenever the void appears, it is guarded by this huge desire to transform into a woman.

Currently I dont really experience the typical symptoms of dysphoria (hating yourself/your body…). I only sometimes have it, that when i look into a mirror, that I cant really connect to the face staring back at me. This lack of obvious signs of dysphoria is the reason, why i am starting to think, that what I experiience is my bodys way of manifesting dysphoria.

Edit to save you the effort of typing:
I have devinetively come to the conclusion that I Am trans. I have accepted it and i am actively working towarda my transition, slow but steadily. You also dont have to recommend the Gender Dysphoria Bible, since I have already read it. I have also watched the video series about MTF folks by the transition channel. I am just absolutely confused what this is, that I Am experiencing. I will try to find a therapist.

  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    10·
    7 days ago

    You should talk to a therapist, that is the best way to move forward with diagnosis and parsing what is going on.

    Generally the rule of thumb is that if you want to be a woman but were assigned male at birth, that is sufficient to think you could be trans. Cis men don’t tend to wish to be women. (Read the Gender Dysphoria Bible for more detail.)

    Finding a gender-affirming therapist who has worked with trans patients is not just a good idea for parsing your experiences and feelings, but also as a way to get the necessary letters and referrals for gender-affirming care in case that is relevant later.

    EDIT: I should mention, repression can make you a very bad candidate for thinking through your own dysphoria - despite meeting diagnostic criteria extensively, before I realized I was trans I thought I fit none of them. A therapist with experience diagnosing gender dysphoria and working with a range of trans patients can help by providing an objective perspective. (As well as help rule out the unlikely possibility you aren’t trans.)

    EDIT2: The Transition Channel video series, and in particular the video on Common Excuses to Avoid Transitioning are what caused me to finally confront the possibility that I really might be trans, and that was only after major life changes that finally allowed me to feel like I could admit these feelings and take them seriously as a kind of self-care.