her
I definitely feel like I'm more of like a dumpling than a woman at this point in my life.
Hannah Horvath

yes, I feel like Lemmy has a misogyny problem :-(

4h ago

Women are being abandoned by their partners on hiking trails. What’s behind ‘alpine divorce’?

it's not like the article or the phenomenon of "alpine divorces" rests on this single story, either, there were many stories shared in the article:

an amateur Austrian mountaineer was found guilty of gross negligence manslaughter for leaving his exhausted girlfriend behind on his country’s highest peak while he went in search of help. The man, a Salzburg chef identified only as Thomas P, said he was “endlessly sorry” for her death, and his lawyer called it a “tragic accident”. But Thomas P could not explain why he failed to wrap his freezing girlfriend in her emergency blanket before heading down the mountain without her. Earlier in their trek he had also told a police officer over the phone that they did not need any help, even though a rescue helicopter was made available to them.
A former girlfriend testified that Thomas P had left her behind on a trail during a hike in 2023 – “so that was the last mountain expedition we undertook together”, she said.

A few years ago, Naomi was hiking Arches national park in Utah when her group noticed a woman lying on the ground in distress.
The woman told them she suffered from severe vertigo – not ideal given the park’s topography – and her date had gone to retrieve his camera after she accidentally dropped it into the bowl near Delicate Arch. “There was no way she was going to get out by herself, and we hiked with her back down to the trailhead,” Naomi said. On the way, they learned that she was on a “second or third date” with the man. “We were asking her, like, ‘So … this might be the last date, huh?’”

4h ago

That Will Hurt Tomorrow

🍑 💦 🤛

4h ago

light reflecting off my shower rule

neat 👀

4h ago

Pizza

I watched this originally on VHS tape and would sing this song when I make pizza - so I was quite happy when I found it on youtube and all the various remixes of it 😄

5h ago

Pizza

dandelion (she/her) @lemmy.blahaj.zone 5h ago

gimme pizza

5h ago

🐺🕺rule

dandelion (she/her) @lemmy.blahaj.zone 5h ago

I'm confused, is that cum?

5h ago

plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls

dandelion (she/her) @lemmy.blahaj.zone 5h ago

don't forget the 🍕

7h ago

Food for All

that's so great!

maybe x-post this to !frugal@lemmy.world ? They might be interested to know CSAs sometimes have options like this.

How do they put the money back on the SNAP card, I'm not sure I understand - or is it more like a "rebate" where you pay for the full shares with SNAP, and they refund part of it? Seems weird, I would have expected a discount for using SNAP rather than transacting the full amount.

7h ago

Tall girl t4t

oh interesting - the average height of a male in the US is 5 foot, 9 inches (175.3 cm) ... I wonder if they have this breakdown by state in the US 🤔

7h ago

what did you learn from being trans?

yes, I find myself sometimes "transvestigating" cis people even; that could have been another item for the above list of things I learned: cis people are far more gender-diverse than I ever realized! But honestly I don't beat myself up about it, I think my brain is just wired to do this because it's a survival strategy - my need to pass leads to heightened sensitivity about those factors that might cause me to not pass, and living under so much pressure to pass led me to really notice fine details most people don't notice and gloss over.

I refuse to feel bad about this, it's more like something that happens to me because of my environment than some kind of willful choice I made. Obviously it would be weird to get obsessive about someone or to take it too far, I just mean I don't feel bad for my brain "seeing" gender in a way I can't unsee now, and in a way that picks everything apart and is constantly scanning for signs of "transness".

Even when someone visually passes, it's usually the voice gives it away (particularly with transfems); even when a voice is good it's still usually clocky to me. The only trans people who I can't clock are usually trans men. (Though that's not universal either - there is a characteristic "gnomish" overfull voice that trans men often have where their vocal tract just sounds too small for what you would expect - so trans men can absolutely have clockable voices, it's just not as common ime.)

7h ago

c̵̨̲̠͑̇̎͑͜ẖ̵̛͙̝̞̀͒̅ì̷͕̙̯̚͜l̷͖̾̿̀d̴͕̫͊̌̈́ͅh̷̨̀͒o̷̪͉͓̦͛̕o̷̤̱̪̍͂͝͝ḓ̸̨̇̒̈́͜͝

I don't really like talking about this, so I'll put it in a spoiler

I was having rather profound ... side effects and experiences from the meditation around that time, so it's hard to say whether it's due to EMDR (which on its own provided no therapeutic benefits before I started meditating 1 hour a day), or due to the neurological effects of meditation. I also started to experience changes in mood like increased energy (even to the point of what I think is called "hypo-mania"), and started to experience insomnia. Because I had had months of EMDR at that point, I don't think it was due to the EMDR, but it might be the combination of EMDR and meditation that specifically helped me overcome that memory loss. However, meditation seems to me to be the main mechanism by which that happened, and the question in my mind was more about whether EMDR played any relevant role (which I do think it might have, by repeatedly re-engaging those memories during a time when I was meditating so much and so intently).

Also, the specific claims about eye movement being the way EMDR works is more narrowly what I meant about it being quackery - it's probably just recalling traumatic memories in a safe environment that helps, and the last I read, the research showed it was no more effective than the exposure therapy aspect it relies on.

I understand any skepticism you might feel about these claims about my side effects from meditation, I was very skeptical myself (which is why I spent so much time reading up on it and then practicing meditation to explore these things for myself).

In the end, I wouldn't reify any religious claims, but I will say that I understand that the predictable effects of skillful meditation will cause people to have experiences that might be described as "religious experiences" (like, relevant to neurotheology).

11h ago

When people recommend Brave browser.

I did not know Brendan Eich was ousted from Mozilla and launched Brave because he was a homophobe who funded anti-LGBT+ campaigns 😬

11h ago

A photo of Iran’s bombed schoolgirl graveyard went around the world. Was it real, or AI?

oof, might need to work on your tech and media literacy there 🫠

11h ago

A photo of Iran’s bombed schoolgirl graveyard went around the world. Was it real, or AI?

the news story is about how LLMs are resulting in people being fed false "fact-checks", being told the image is fake when it's not

it's not strictly about whether the image is real or not, which the facts are clear about

11h ago

A photo of Iran’s bombed schoolgirl graveyard went around the world. Was it real, or AI?

saved you a click, the image is real:

The cemetery image, it turns out, is authentic. Researchers have cross referenced the photo of the site with satellite images that confirm its location, and it can be cross-referenced again with dozens more images taken of the same site from slightly different angles, and again with video footage – none of which experts say show signs of tampering or digital manipulation. The “factchecks” by Gemini and Grok are just one example of a tidal wave of AI-generated slop – hallucinated facts, nonsense analysis and faked images – that are engulfing coverage of the Iran war. Experts say it is wasting investigative time and risks atrocities being denied – as well as heralding alarming weaknesses as people increasingly rely on AI summaries for news and information.

The story is about how LLMs are unreliable at fact-checking, misleading people into thinking the image was fake.

14h ago

what did you learn from being trans?

dandelion (she/her) @lemmy.blahaj.zone 14h ago

yes, this was my experience too - I was a very passionate feminist before I transitioned and I thought I understood how women experienced the world, but until I was a woman and felt the extreme vulnerability myself, I really didn't understand how the threat of violence (and sexual violence particularly) ends up influencing your experience of everything.

I also really didn't understand that women really are still second-class citizens, people really won't take you seriously about anything if you're a woman. Doctors won't listen to you, people don't expect you to be anything serious or of note. It's like being a child again, where all the men get to be adults with the rights enjoyed by citizens, etc. - but you'll always be something less than a citizen, something less than an adult.

It's really frustrating, tbh. I knew I was passing when people started treating me like I was much younger than I am, that's what it was like to be seen as a woman.

So, it makes a lot of sense to me now why women so often try to project themselves as men to be taken seriously - adopting their clothes, their aggression, their deeper voices, etc. - masculinity becomes a model by which women can work towards autonomy and respect. Wearing a skirt becomes a choice to debase yourself in a patriarchal society that sees women who wear skirts as less serious.

14h ago

c̵̨̲̠͑̇̎͑͜ẖ̵̛͙̝̞̀͒̅ì̷͕̙̯̚͜l̷͖̾̿̀d̴͕̫͊̌̈́ͅh̷̨̀͒o̷̪͉͓̦͛̕o̷̤̱̪̍͂͝͝ḓ̸̨̇̒̈́͜͝

dandelion (she/her) @lemmy.blahaj.zone 14h ago

somehow I'm both?

EDIT: I "knew" since some of my earliest memories (4 - 5 years old), when I was trying on my mom's heels in her closet, and when stories of my birth were told and everyone in the family thought I was going to be born a girl, and I was pretty sure they were right and I was supposed to be born a girl, etc.

I also grew up wanting to be a girl, which especially got more intense after puberty started. I definitely played with barbies growing up (in the limited way I could under the watch of my father, who projected his fragile masculinity onto me by threatening violence for even minor mis-steps in my gender).

But I also ended up repressing hard and thought I could never be a woman or a girl, and I lost a lot of my memories of childhood and ended up very dissociated and unhappy. Therapy and meditation actually caused me to regain a lot of my childhood memories, which was very weird - I woke up one morning with access to them after months in EMDR + 1 hour vipassana meditation / day (which ... I tend to think EMDR is quackery, but it sorta works because it's like exposure therapy for traumatic memories? something like that).

15h ago

what did you learn from being trans?