I have ADHD and I really hate this post. I’m tempted to claim it’s ableist, but that feels dramatic. This plays into that idea that hyper focus is some sort of super power that I can control. That “things I need to do toive” somehow aren’t things I want to be good at. My reality is changing fixation/hobbies every couple of months or so. I don’t want half finished projects everywhere.
I want to have things organized. I want to not have random piles of stuff everywhere. I want to not fall into a spiral every time I misplace something.
Yeah, would feel much more accurate to say good at things the hormone roulette in your brain decides you want to do (which does lead to you actually wanting to do them at least), terrible at everything else including things you want to do as a result of actually thinking.
Surviving in the business world with ADHD can be done but ADHD is a disability and you need accommodations. I, for instance, buckle under the pressure of oversight after years of being criticized for being lazy. Sometimes I am playing a game on my phone and that’s fucking okay - sometimes my brain needs to destress. I deliver output at a pace that exceeds the expectations of my position so how I manage my time is my own fucking business.
When I’ve had a micromanager I’ve fucking hated work but finding a manager I trust enough to discuss accommodations with and then allows me those accommodations is fucking awesome. I’ve even tried being a manager myself and while I can’t fucking stand being a forced mouthpiece for corporate bullshit I sheltered my reports from criticism and helped support them as needed.
You can make it work but never be under the illusion that ADHD isn’t a disability, it’s fucking hard and there are days where you’ll need to hide away and just be non-verbal in a quiet corner because your mind says “nothing is getting done today”.
If you’re able (and I know this is a fucking luxury but it’s so fucking helpful) work remote where you can deliver your pound of flesh at regular intervals and let your brain wander when it needs to. Other good jobs involve physical labor where the endorphins we need are generated by the activity but - and this is fucking critical - you will hate your life if you have a non-physical always on job… an excellent example being call centers. You will NOT be always on, ever in your fucking life… your ability to focus is fleeting and if you work in a position where constant low focus is needed you will fucking suffer.
I hope that helps!
Im currently in between jobs, dreading going back to work because of everything you described. I kind of want to copy paste your post onto my cover letter and just see what happens. somethings gotta change though because going back to the status quo of micro managing bs is too much to bear atm.
There’s some nature vs nurture question here. Let’s take twins with an identical ND brain. Due to random chance, from an early age one twin is interested in things society finds highly valuable, and the other is interested in things society doesn’t value at all. What are the outcomes from childhood on?
I think about this a lot. There’s an extreme luck or privilege that comes from happening to be born kind of “into” or good at the things society happens to find valuable at the current moment (and in the region of one’s birth). I benefit massively from that today, and even just a hundred years ago I think my life would have probably gone very differently (worse). Meanwhile folks I know without those aptitudes but with tons of sincere effort just continue to struggle. It feels really cruel and unfair.
ETA: even worse, we never talk about this. I think you’re the first person I’ve ever seen mention it. So most folks who lost that lottery walk around thinking it’s their fault somehow. Such a sad thing to me.
I am with you… If I had been born in any circumstance that led to me not being exposed to and able to develop software, I’d probably be worse off in 100 ways. Just happened to be born at the time and in the right circumstance that it was becoming very valuable to society, and I could pursue it. Well, it was actually dumb luck I landed on it. I initially thought I’d never be able to or want to do it lol. Any other point in history prior, I have no idea what I would’ve done. But being this introverted is not suited to most things in life.
It’s pretty chilling to think about. The number of things that had to line up just right for you and I and others like us to have decent lives. And the extreme luck that they did. Realizing this, and how hopeless it is for so many others, basically radicalized me. We must find a better way to organize our society, this is an insane way to do things.
It would be quite disheartening if I was the first person to have had the idea, or articulate it in this way, though not totally unexpected. Will search scholarly articles to see what I can find. So far these types of views are only coming from ND lead research, which thankfully appear to be accelerating recently.
I refer to it in my head as “vocational privilege”. I’ve never once heard it discussed (not just the term I made up, the idea). And frankly we’re not exactly at a societal moment when many of us are eager to bring new forms of privilege into discussions, I think it’ll be quite some time before we’re ready to grapple with this, but it’s a huge problem.
Both in terms of human suffering but also just in terms of humanity’s “efficiency”. There’s so much more good that could be done if we were able to harness people’s born talents better, rather than the square peg round hole nonsense we do with so many folks today.
It can be an asset. I leverage my hyperfixation when I’m at work. It’s annoying for people to have to say my name six times for me to be pulled out of whatever I’m doing, but I’m incredibly detail-oriented and efficient when hyperfixated on a task.
Yeah, same. It’s a super power when properly harnessed but damn even at work it often isn’t for me
Cries in audhd.
Ah is it different for us audhd folks?
Depends how much your day to day functioning is impaired by autism.
Ya that’s not how ADHD works
It can be
If you’re extremely unlucky, or have low self esteem, yes.
Huh? Unlucky? I wish I could choose what I want to be good at. I can’t. I’d be lucky as hell of my ADHD worked this way.
Yup, been playing video-games for 23 years, still suck at it
I can learn to do new stuff, even complicated tasks, in a very short time. Problem is, after I learn the basics and become mediocre at it, I won’t improve further. No idea how to better myself even after years I’ve been doing that thing.
maybe if you take some vaccines to raise your autism stat that’ll help, then the hyperfocus on special interests will give you the best of both worlds at the cost of being unable to restrain yourself from calling most people apathetic monsters.
Agreed. I have been pursuing math, but no matter how hard I try, I do not seem to be good enough at it.
Yikes… Yeah pretty much.
