WASHINGTON D.C. - Under the terms of the contract signed ten years ago, President Trump ordered his longtime ally Lindsay Graham to undertake the sacred ritual of transferring his life’s essence to fellow Senator Mitch McConnell.

“You’ll recall that Graham once stated if Trump became the Republican nominee for president, ‘the party would be destroyed and they would deserve it’,” Mason said. “But ten years ago, he made a superseding deal to keep his senate seat in a pact signed in blood, which is generally how these things work.”

  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    8 days ago

    But everybody’s been saying how he’s actually dead in his office which now reeks…and everybody knows. But they keep at the lie.

    jesus fuckin christ, at least have the decency to put the man in the bakery freezer next to all the ice cream. it’s -32°F. plenty cold enough so we don’t have to smell him.

    that’s such a Walmart thing to do though. a person dies in the store and they don’t do anything about it and just work around them.