Look how big those fucking chunks are. They’re going to be sooo noticeable in my rice, just big chunks of garlic, fuckk
Pro tip from the absolute professional on this but if you’re working a robocoupe packed full of peeled garlic you wanna do a wirka wirka wirrrrr wirka wirrrr. Then shake it or scrape down the sides, then give it another wirka wirka wirrrrrr then stop, you’re done
this is like someone just gave it a wirka wirka wirrrr wirka, shook it, gave it just a wirka and quit there
That’s gonna give you these huge ass chunks all up in your business. That’s bad. You give it just a little more chop and you get a much better surface area to volume ratio improving the flavor and texture of what you’re cooking
Now i must also stress it’s also an ABSOLUTE HACK JOB if you just turn the thing on and leave it wirring while you walk away for like literally any amount of time to do other shit. Okay cool you’re multitasking but the garlic is all fucked up, thanks Bill.
The problem with that is you cut it too fine and too many juices ooze out and it starts to sort of emulsify in itself and you get a paste that is a pain in the ass to separate and spread around while frying. Man i hate it when they do it like that. I don’t mind volunteering to do the garlic just so it gets done right, god damn
Here’s what we do at home. Once a year, we wirka wirrr up a shitload of garlic, and we spoon it into ziplock bags. Press it so it’s a thin flat layer, but otherwise is full to the top. Put those bags in the freezer and snap off bits of the frozen garlic mince as needed.
I should probably do that tbh good idea
we wirka wirrr up
just a wirka wirrr

Just buy minced garlic and soak it in water for a bit before using.
This is the minced garlic, they did it wrong
this is unacceptable 😤 I’m so sorry you don’t deserve this
Wait what’s the soak for? Do folks find the jarred stuff too strong or something?
Much to the contrary. If you soak them they get stronger, and taste better.
bit idea: a blender with only two buttons, labelled “wirka” and “wirrrrrr”
you’re… just stealing my bit though…
I thought of it more like you were playing beautiful music and I was just visualizing the instrument
get the whole cloves if you must, then you have the final say
Yeah but then i gotta clean the food processor and it takes up a lot of room in the dishwasher

Just put soapy water in the food processor and let it Wirka wirrrrrr to clean it
get you a garlic press that separates into two halves
But then i gotta clean THAT
This is why I mince my own garlic. Chef’s knife in the dishwasher is so much easier than finding space in there for the food processor, or hand washing a garlic press. Plus I’m probably already using the knife to chop something else and it’s gonna need to be cleaned anyway.
Chef’s knife in the dishwasher
Blasphemy
Oh im sorry i can’t do that either because I use way too much garlic, i ain’t got time for all that with the other unnecessary steps im doing in the pursuit of flavor town
I could maybe tolerate it if i had to if the garlic were already peeled but if i have to peel that shit sorry taste buds all you’re getting is the garlic powder
Maybe it’s a genetic thing, but I can’t stand the taste of pre-minced/chunked garlic. To my taste buds, it is NOT ‘flavor town’, and it isn’t even garlic – it is some plastic-y abomination that should never be allowed to contaminate real food (and yes, I understand it is real, but something goes wrong in the process that makes it taste awful).
I’m happy to spend 1/2 hour with a knife turning whole bulbs of garlic into peeled cloves, then into minced deliciousness. I don’t know a better way to get the flavor I want. Meanwhile, garlic powder tastes like it is related to garlic with its own flavor that I’m fine eating as a supplement.
Stumbled onto a cheap implement - think a thin-walled rubber tube about the dimensions of a toilet paper tube. You could imagine the world’s longest “truck stop men’s room
random segz itemvending machine cock ring” if you wanted, instead, but everyone has their own tastes.Anyway ya just roll the cloves around in that with some light pressure for a bit and the skins slip right off (with some end trimming of course, before or after).
I don’t love a proliferation of single-use kitchen gadgets. I do like this lil guy though, perfect for it’s niche and unobtrusive.
Still prolly not enough to invite knife-mincing a university’s garlic needs, per Leroy’s situation, lol, but worth trying on a smaller scale.
If it’s the pre minced stuff in oil it’s probably the oil and i think they add various preservatives to that. If it’s just chopped garlic then idk

I always use garlic powder and raw garlic even if i’m using raw garlic because it’s different garlic flavors and more garlic is more good
I definitely feel you there. I lightly crush the garlic with the side of the blade and most the peel comes off at once.
But I have also very lazily made garlic bread out of a hotdog roll and garlic powder. The struggle is real sometimes.
The problem with that is i’ll wanna use a whole bulb of garlic and that’ll mean peeling like idk 12-16 cloves and inevitably there’s some that are fucking tiny and hard to manipulate and either way they get all sticky and I sit there frustrated going FUCKING COME OFF. yes i know to crush them.
I’m just spoiled from getting 2Ib of peeled cloves at work that all gets processed and then I can just throw literal handfuls of garlic into things without spending like an hour peeling all that
Just read this whole thing in Hank Hill voice
Tbh i wrote the rest of it in a hank hill voice after i complained about the quality of bill’s garlic processing. Bwaaa!
Gott dangit, Bill!
If you’re gonna over process the garlic anyway just commit to the bit and make toum.
Ayy I’m garlicin here
The same surface area to volume ratio also effects the shelf life which is a signifcant concern for retail.
but they’re big dookie chunks n i hate em







