Whatever to keep an ending culture alive amiright? Even if it means annexing a country to get cheap shrimp because anything changing would be to much effort.
Well now I just can’t get out of my head the picture of a Red Lobster fleet of pirate ships invading Greenland shouting “When we say endless we mean it” and that’s completely fucking ridiculous but I guess that’s what’s happening? I have to say that’s really Long John Silvers territory
Yeah no version of this isnt funny but sad
I thought maybe we could just have one day where every single member of this administration was not a horrendous embarrassment to everything.
Today is not that day.
The like tweet quoted in the article sounds so dry it must have killed the person writing it.
One reason the US is considering acquiring Greenland is to secure access to seafood that could potentially bring back unlimited shrimp at Red Lobster. - US official to the New Yorker
But what about Red Lobster’s All-You-Can-Eat Krill Fest?!
I am a whale, and I like krill
Need some help here, I’m just the piano player
This is bush league shit my buddy Dr Snake came up with this idea like 12 years ago after an enormous bong rip
I guess they’re thinking like fruit corporations
Can’t wait for Call of Duty game where a spec ops team is sent in to stop the evil Greenland terrorist who have shrimp families hostage. America is the only chance these shellfish have for freedom.
A war over shellfish, you say?
Does it include shrimp scampi?
Fuck all of this noise, but if it was down to Greenland or the bottomless Cheddar Bay Biscuits, I might start putting on my invadin’ boots.
Edit: To be perfectly clear, I was joking. Fuck this administration and fuck imperialism.
