I forgot that it’s my mega week so no big info dump this time. Instead I bring a question: how do you practice gender self-care? Do you have any activities or rituals that make you feel more comfortable in your gender? Painting my nails and taking care of my hair are the most consistent ones. These shouldn’t even be considered gendered activities by society, but I missed out on having long hair and painted nails when I was younger because of my assigned gender, so doing them now feels validating and gives me confidence.

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  • MeetMeAtTheMovies [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    15 days ago

    I was in a situation where I wasn’t transitioning “to spare my partner” is what I would tell myself. Rapid fire 6 months of the most effective therapy I’ve ever participated in:

    1. I can’t control how people react to me
    2. Trying to please my partner all the time was denying them the chance to meet and know authentic parts of me
    3. Avoiding transition “for their sake” was denying them a chance to authentically react to my situation and process those feelings
    4. Acceptance that their reaction may go the other way is distinct from pessimism that their reaction would go poorly

    And then in retrospect, despite some initial bumpiness and thanks to some consequent couples therapy, any initial negativity has been replaced by genuine acceptance and enthusiasm. And I found that despite that, I still had the hesitancy to put effort into my transition. The hesitancy I think for me comes from a place of internalized transphobia more than anything.

    I’m not saying any of this is a one-to-one fit for you but’s it’s my experience and what you said reminded me of it.