Diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. Insomnia started in college and hasn’t really gone away. I discovered doxylamine works, but I recently learned that these older antihistamines increase the risk for dementia and that the effect is cumulative. Age related mental deterioration is literally my worst fear, more than just straight up dying, so I’ve been trying to quit, even though I’m sure it’s already too late since I’ve been taking them on the regular for 20 years.
There was a period of abouta year where the insomnia was so bad I was taking two Unisom per night, once right before bed and again around 3 AM (it’s always 3 AM that I wake up and can’t go back to sleep). This was around 2014-2015. Since then I’ve had to medicate on average once every other night at best.
I’ve tried a couple other meds. I’ve tried melatonin (usually as a gummy) but I habituate quickly. Anti-anxiety meds didn’t really do anything and muscle relaxants just relaxed my muscles, not my brain. Magnesium doesn’t seem to help either.
AFAIK I have good sleep hygiene, consistent bedtime even on weekends, only use the bed for sleep, actually this goes for the entire bedroom, no desk or computer etc. I’m early to bed and early to rise (hence my username), going to bed around 8:30 and (ideally) getting up between 5 and 5:30.
I’ve tried a few things besides meds, a weighted blanket helps a little but not much (I’m also allergic to something in it, so I have to have a top sheet between me and the weighted blanket and a comforter above otherwise my nose and eyes run. I’ve tried music, spoken word (usually audio books or calm YT videos in the background), white noise, complete silence. The trick with the books/vids is they can’t be so engaging that they keep me awake, but they can’t be so boring that they just become noise that can’t out-compete my brain. I’ve even written my own little short stories and converted them to audio.
I’ve tried exercising. I like walking, so I often go for long treks around my neighborhood. I also have one of those half-a-bikes that you can use while sitting on the couch. It’s great when watching videos or playing games. But effect on sleep is mixed. I also have arthritis in my left knee that gets worse if I exercise, so after a day or two I have to take an extended break until the pain goes away. I’ve seen a doctor about it and gone to physical therapy, but it remains.
Alcohol sometimes helps, but I absolutely don’t want to self-medicate with booze. It will not end well.
Stress going on in my life obviously makes it worse, so there are times of relatively low stress where I can get a whole night in. I had a streak of about 2.5 months that just ended where I slept well consistantly thanks to having dropped a certification program that I wasn’t passing despite 8 attempts at the exam. But now the uncertainty of where my career is going now that all my certs are expired as well as a general midlife crisis and good ol’ existential dread have moved in.
And of course there’s the stress caused by the insomnia itself. It starts with one bad night, I feel crappy the next day, then the next night I start worrying that I won’t sleep again, making me feel even worse the next day, and it’s a positive feedback loop.
So that’s my situation. I’ve seen similar questions asked here and elsewhere and there doesn’t seem to be a solution, unless someone can refute the antihistamine-dementia connection.
Insomnia is not failure. It’s restful if you’re lying there with your eyes closed. If you can internalize that, the stress will reduce.
I listen to shows on headphones to help. I can keep my eyes closed and it’s boring enough to lull me to sleep.
I don’t have any advice I can offer, just solidarity. I’ve gone through a few spells of insomnia, and lately it’s happening again.
I’ve taken to writing when I’m awake at silly-o’clock in the morning. Just whatever comes into my head. Sometimes it’s a dialogue with myself, and my therapist has suggested when I’m doing this to write part of that dialogue (the part the current “me” is conversing with I guess?) with my non-dominant hand.
I don’t know if it helps my sleeping, but it clears my head of some of the noise.
I’ve struggled with insomnia for most of my life as well and had been prescribed a variety of medication types to try to treat it- ssris, antihistamines, z-drugs, atypical antipsychotics, etc… of those, the only one which absolutely guaranteed I’d sleep was Seroquel; it was a sledgehammer to the brain. It unfortunately was just overall far too effective and would sedate me the entire day and blended my dreams and reality in a very distressing way. It does help a lot if people do might be an option.
I eventually found relief through cannabis, and for over a decade, I was happily content vaping some flower for bed. Insurance obviously doesn’t cover that, and I’m unfortunately at a place in life with no job and income…sooo it was back to my psych to try to address my inability to sleep.
I spent a few days looking at medications that other people have had success with and found some that reported finding relief through Clonidine and other blood pressure medications. I brought the suggestion to my doctor who seemed open to it. I started with the standard immediate relief version. It did semi-reliably get me to sleep, but, as with many, I’d just end up waking up 4-5 hours later and would take another that sometimes would get me back to sleep. I then asked to try the extended release version, and so far it has allowed me to sleep the entirety of the night! Might be worth looking into if your heart is overall fine!
You really should get rid of that weighted blanket. Chronic immune reactions are no joke.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with insomnia. It fricking sucks. :(
Have you tried getting up and doing something for a couple hrs (without bright lights) at 3? Read a book or clean the house; if it’s safe go for a walk. Then try to go to bed again for a couple hrs.
trazodone is a very effective off-label sleep aid
this podcast episode may not be effective for every person everywhere but i hope it has something that helps you
Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson: Why people with ADHD can’t sleep (and what actually helps)
Episode webpage: https://www.understood.org/en/podcasts/hyperfocus/adhd-sleep-what-helps
If your insurance lets you afford it, ask about any of the newer dual orexin receptor antagonists (belsomra, dayvigo, quviviq). The tl;dr is that basically everything for sleep is a sedative that tries to slam the “off” part of your brain. These drugs instead hit the “on” part that’s telling your brain to stay awake, and try to turn that down. I have brutal chronic insomnia and have been through every sedative on the list, and for some reason, these new drugs are the ones that kinda work. Copay cards are your friend here. Best wishes to you, hope you can sleep soon.
