2 years on HRT now babyyyyyy
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made it out to the trans gathering I had been putting off forever. It was scary but mostly in a good way. I’m a little overwhelmed though.
comparison is the thief of joy
I wasn’t comparing myself to that many other women because I hadn’t seen anyone since I began transition (hermit life), but fuck me there were so many gorgeous girls and I feel so hopelessly inadequate. I know everything in its time and everyone’s transition is different but Jesus Christ I really thought I was doing fine in my own lane at my own pace and this shattered that. It was really nice to be there and meet all these people, see some friends I hadn’t seen in the months since coming out, but I can’t get over how great everyone looked (fine) and how I feel in comparison (bad)
I also used my sorta deadname in introductions and it just confirmed I never want to do that again. I was too scared to use the new one but turns out that was stupid and made me feel worse.
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Real. I was just thinking last night as I was falling asleep how that I look like a slightly weird, gross man and then this morning I see someone barely on hrt longer then me who looks and sounds great. Probably passes to most cis people. I don’t even get called my name by my queer friends.
Just think, pretty soon some girl who just started hormones is going to be putting you in the latter category.
Circle of life
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Thank god for the Zionist acquisition of TikTok because the amount of times I would see girlies on that godforsaken platform talk about how sad they were to only get on hormones at 18 made me want to scream
I’m dead serious when I say we got this though. It’s so early days, we’ve got so much independent life and growth to experience, we’re only measuring our hrt in months! Comparison thieving joy, as always. All in due time, sister
On the one hand, I feel for everyone who was forced to go through the wrong puberty. On the other hand, fuck I wish I had started hrt when I was 18.
Exactly!
dysphoria
At 18 my voice was already dropped and I was already my full height, I know other things happen after that but the things I care most about were already ruined at like 14.
Obv you still masculinize a lot after so not downplaying it but idk
Eggnog tell your friends to call you by your name! I presume this is something other than “Eggnog”, although that would be an interesting name.
I have! They just don’t. One of them actually said how disappointed she was when I told her about another friend not using my name. Then doesn’t use my name herself 🙃
Also I messed up my months I am at 5 not 7