Rolling up the contents of a town into a big, sticky ball.

Placing a billion conveyor belts, strip mining a planet with no regard to the pollution I caused, and full scale genocide against the native bugs who already lived there.

Sorry, biters, I gotta launch my rocket.

Trafficking humans, putting them in tiny 1x1m cages where they cannot sit, force them to do cheap labour, separate their children at birth, and kill them if they are too expensive…

Fuck I love Minecraft!

Bringing democracy to the wider galaxy.

Beating wild animals into submission, capturing them and putting them to work in a shack I built in the woods.

Fishing

I didn’t realise our poaching laws were that severe

Building a house in the woods without planning permission.

Turning the universe into paperclips

The purgation of xenos scum and heretic filth with extreme prejudice.

Spreading democracy for the glory of Super Earth!

Assault, battery, torture, stalking, breaking & entering, trespassing, destruction of property, illegal search & seizure, tampering with evidence, aiding & abetting, reckless driving, speeding, operation of an unlicensed vehicle, unlawful interception, child endangerment, unlawful imprisonment, conspiracy, and, of course, vigilantism

But absolutely zero murder

Probably for driving truck into car while being drunk. (the former in game, letter in RL).

Impersonating a defense attorney.

Being a massive slut! That futa cock isn’t there for nothing

Strip mining a planet, refining raw materials, building factories, and researching new technology. All to build a rocket to get off said planet.