I’m about to end employee 8675309’s whole career*.
“You’re not being sacked, no, we are releasing you into a world of opportunity!” Yes, a friend of mine actually heard that one a while ago when he was ‘let go’. 🤨
Got the boot from a company.
Here’s the BS I had to deal with: -I was dealing with health issues when I was working. -My former coworker actively tried to make my condition worse. -I reported them for this to management & HR -Got fired, as they had friends in HR. -They filled out the unemployment paperwork wrong 4 times. -The unemployment case was so messed up, the local government got involved.
The positives. -Company deamed at fault and heavily scolded by the government. -I got paid more on unemployment than when working. -I make ~25% more at my new job.
That was ~2 years ago.
-I got paid more on unemployment than when working.
How did that one happen? That’s the unbelievable part to me - unemployment is basically capped to a percentage (usually 50%) of what you were making when working and vacation pay and partial pay (paychecks from part time work) etc any other non-gift pay also deduct or delay from how much you end up getting paid, at least where I live.
Unemployment counts the last 5 quarters. If you get fired before a quarter ends it doesn’t count it as a full quarter.
I left a different job making a lot more because of my health. I knew the manager at this new job and he saw I wanted a position that I was already in. Less hours, about the same pay.
When I was unemployed it counted the vacation I was reimbursed upon my leave from the previous company and the massive amount of overtime I was making from the previous job. If they would have fired me 4 days later, I would have been in the new quarter and gotten a lot less.
We would like to shift our structure to a more flexible model of management to accommodate for unforeseen market fluctuations.
So I am fired?
As I said we want to reschedule you indefinitely as our potential support asset. This pool is very prestigious and privileged position to be in.
So will I get paid?
As much as we would like to, truly, It is legally impossible for us to provide you with any funds outside of a legally binding contract which needs to be terminated in order to shift to a better state of financial buoyancy.
As someone who was recently laid off, I can identify. I didn’t see it immediately, but was able to travel to Arizona to catch some spring training baseball with my son and brother. That was all I needed to bounce back. On Monday I start a new job at a healthier company making 25% more money.
Go on, fire me, it won‘t unjizz the bathroom stalls.
Is this an actress, or am I missing a reference?
It looks like Anne Hathaway, who is a pretty well known actress. I think they just used her for the meme because of her smile.
I’d let her fire me all she wants
