Burned into my memory was my surgeon saying “Holy shit” when he saw the first image as he was doing my arthroscopic knee surgery (I had elected to be awake for the procedure).
My appendix “exploded” and I got gangrene. The surgeon afterwards told me “I’ve seen some stuff before but… man” like he had been sickened by it. I figured that I was still alive was a pretty good sign.
Hey, fellow appendix exploder. Mine got in my lungs and caused me to stop absorbing oxygen properly. Super fun to be breathing „normally“ but suffering from hypoxia.
I blew up my eyes and face with a firecracker as a teenager (I’m fine now, not even a scar to show for it) and the doctor who inspected my eyes before the operation said the same thing (in German: “Ach du Scheiße”). Wasn’t particularly comforting, but they managed to scrape all the debris from my eyeballs and save my vision, so I’m not complaining.
I’m always scared my doctors are talking shit about me when I’m under.
I’m an OR nurse; sometimes we do talk shit, sometimes we don’t. Doesn’t really matter which patient. It’s just sometimes to release some stress (because the previous operation might have gotten a little spicy for example) and dark humor and a fresh subject to talk shit about is just easy pickings.
For what it’s worth: Sorry. /:
I was once having a conversation with nurses about the sitcom we would all write about hospital experiences. “Commode: Can’t fake this shit” and the theme song is a vent alarm. What’s today’s episode? Basically yesterday.





