your special poop toilet is bourgeois decadence

Urinal for speed, stall so you can take your time doing the deed?

We had spitoons.

A phlegm toilet in China would be nice because they could put it outside the building and I wouldn’t have to deal with guys literally spending 30 minutes every morning and night in a futile battle against their bodies naturally produced mucus.

I’m not kidding a guy this morning was hawking up phlegm (or trying to) for about an hour. It tends to be the old dudes that do it but it hurts my soul when I hear it. Real nails down a chalkboard stuff.