“Relationships fo also come wothout sexual obligations by the way, you’re not required to have sex with your partner.”
That I never got. Isn’t a relationship without any sexual activity just a friendship? Love can’t be the deciding factor, as plenty of people love their friends. There are different kinds of love, but the kinds that distinguish relationships from friendships are sexual in nature.
In my mind, a relationship without a sexual component is just a roommate or very close friend. What exactly is the difference between a close best friend and a relationship with no sexual component? To me those seem to have the exact same definition.
Without obligation does not mean that there is no sexual component, just that nobody can be forced to do it.
Also just because you have very strong sexual desire does not mean that everybody does, and two people that don’t might still want an intimate relationship with each other with the mutual understanding of not seeing other people. And I think that’s what makes the difference between a roommate and a relationship (unless it’s a poly relationship)
Well, you don’t want to deny asexual people romantic relationships.
But yeah it’s simply more of a gradient, and different folks put their goal posts on different parts of that gradient.
Could even comment about the inflationary usage of the word “love” in American English, where people “love” the taste of a juice, the efficiency of a corporate business process, or the smell of napalm in the morning. Ancient Greeks were on the other end of THAT scale, with different words for different loves, even for e.g. the love for your home country.
I think you misunderstood me. There is no obligation. I’m saying there’s a standard default expectation of an intimate relationship of sex.
So, when, by default, you think of two people entering a relationship, by default, the VAST majority of people will assume those two people are gonna eventually have sex. That’s all I’m saying.
But also, that fully asexual people exist, and polyam people exist, and all kinds of others, and relationships are simply what you make of them or want them to be and come in all shapes, sizes, tastes, sounds, and colors.
There’s never an obligation for anything, and expectations are fluid af. Even parental relationships, there’s no obligation to trust or care for your parents.
Do people love each other because they have sex or do they have sex because they love each other? I would say (hope?) that most people are the second, so rather than an expectation, I would say that it is a consequence.
It definitely goes either way or even neither way. You can have sex without love and love without sex. You can have relationships with both or neither. And, things can always change or even change back or be fluxative. You can even have NO relationship with any of this stuff, too. Or directional relationships or one to many or many to many relationships! Oh my!
You know you can just have flatmates, right?
Where’s the fun in that?
there is no sexual obligation, it isn’t ruled out either
Relationships fo also come wothout sexual obligations by the way, you’re not required to have sex with your partner.
That I never got. Isn’t a relationship without any sexual activity just a friendship? Love can’t be the deciding factor, as plenty of people love their friends. There are different kinds of love, but the kinds that distinguish relationships from friendships are sexual in nature.
In my mind, a relationship without a sexual component is just a roommate or very close friend. What exactly is the difference between a close best friend and a relationship with no sexual component? To me those seem to have the exact same definition.
Without obligation does not mean that there is no sexual component, just that nobody can be forced to do it. Also just because you have very strong sexual desire does not mean that everybody does, and two people that don’t might still want an intimate relationship with each other with the mutual understanding of not seeing other people. And I think that’s what makes the difference between a roommate and a relationship (unless it’s a poly relationship)
Well, you don’t want to deny asexual people romantic relationships.
But yeah it’s simply more of a gradient, and different folks put their goal posts on different parts of that gradient.
Could even comment about the inflationary usage of the word “love” in American English, where people “love” the taste of a juice, the efficiency of a corporate business process, or the smell of napalm in the morning. Ancient Greeks were on the other end of THAT scale, with different words for different loves, even for e.g. the love for your home country.
But, as far as I know, it’s still the assumed default nature with intimate relationships. Do we want to change that?
Obligation:
Of course couples can have sex, but nobody can be forced to do it by pointing to their obligation due to the relationship
I think you misunderstood me. There is no obligation. I’m saying there’s a standard default expectation of an intimate relationship of sex.
So, when, by default, you think of two people entering a relationship, by default, the VAST majority of people will assume those two people are gonna eventually have sex. That’s all I’m saying.
But also, that fully asexual people exist, and polyam people exist, and all kinds of others, and relationships are simply what you make of them or want them to be and come in all shapes, sizes, tastes, sounds, and colors.
There’s never an obligation for anything, and expectations are fluid af. Even parental relationships, there’s no obligation to trust or care for your parents.
Do people love each other because they have sex or do they have sex because they love each other? I would say (hope?) that most people are the second, so rather than an expectation, I would say that it is a consequence.
It definitely goes either way or even neither way. You can have sex without love and love without sex. You can have relationships with both or neither. And, things can always change or even change back or be fluxative. You can even have NO relationship with any of this stuff, too. Or directional relationships or one to many or many to many relationships! Oh my!
Sorry, then I might have misunderstood your point. I agree with what you’re saying.
lol
nothing like a healthy dose of sex to smoothen the discussion of who’s turn it is to order pizza
Where do you find a flatmate who’s willing to be third wheel?
Craigslist, inpatient psych, most riots.
Gas, grass or ass. No one stays for free.
I’m paying rent, Dave.
We’re too broke to entertain ourselves in other ways.
Right.who you bang and share your life with.
flat sounds great