I gave up weed since I was a teenager. I have a very active inner monologue, my therapists have always said that I intellectualise everything, which isn’t a good thing. Weed smoking just makes my inner demons even louder, me more anxious, and the over analysing even more over done. Maybe it’ll be different because it’s been 20 years, and supposedly cannibis breeding has made strains that don’t make you paranoid???

NOPE

Thankfully I didn’t take bong rips like 18 year old me used to. (Do you all even still call them bong rips). Even just a couple of puffs brought back the old self hatred and paranoia.

The only good thing is that middle aged me is better at arguing against my inner demons than teenager me. My life sucks because this system sucks, not because I suck. Some people hate me because they’re materially comfortable descendants of settlers and colonisers who still take the side of empire in 2025. I’m lonely because this system is alienating AF.

I put on positive commie music for two hours and sang along, literally crying for much of it. I feel asleep to Columbo.

tldr: if weed made you paranoid at 18, it might still make you paranoid in your 40s.

  • heatenconsumerist [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    4·
    2 months ago

    I still remember my IN-DEPTH arguments with a lemmy world chud explaining that his gnarly sickness/bowel distress was CHS.

    He went to the mayo clinic (spent a gnarly amount of $) and dozens of other people (including himself) chimed in to be like “IT ABSOLUTELY CAN’T BE THE WEED. FUCK OFF” even when he admitted he didn’t ask the doctors or mention that he smoked a ton.

    I still think of that from time to time, the libs couldn’t imagine it was the fault of the cure-all savior plant. I had CHS and it was like dying for 5 hours and having no idea why (and sometimes even smoking more because weed should cure nausea/vomiting… Right?)

    All that to say, it’s a great drug, but drugs are bad if you use them habitually to cope instead of occasionally for fun. Microing shrooms is way better than weed for depression IMHO.

    Edit: Removed abelist word that I can’t break the habit of using

    spoiler

    insane

    • ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      3·
      2 months ago

      Somehow it’s right wingers who are the best at denying obvious reality.

      Edit: Removed abelist word that I can’t break the habit of using

      I really appreciate it. This is my quiet pet peeve. Often you can replace it with “wild” in a sentence and honestly it sounds so much better.