well, after months of deliberation i finally bought a one way ticket to portugal and planning to slowly make my way from there to either asia or africa. still have a day to chicken out and refund but i mean i’ve been desperately searching for a reason to not just up and leave the country, the bar has been barely above the ground, and still haven’t found even one reason so doubt anything will change in the next day.

i’m not necessarily looking forward to it, still trying to get past the “i wish things were different” mentality. just seems like the only thing left to do besides succumbing to hopelessness. i’m hoping the journey will alleviate my misanthropic thoughts and lead to finding my people, but i know it’s best to not have any expectations. i’m also worried about what happens when i run out of the very little money i do have or potential prejudice especially in europe but fuck it i want to do less thinking and more action

the only thing i will miss is my computer. still thinking if i should even bring a laptop since i plan to mostly camp