EmmaGoldman [she/her, comrade/them]

Vigilance and compassion

  • 11 Posts
  • 698 Comments
Joined 6 years ago
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Cake day: August 22nd, 2020

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  • I am in a similar situation. I don’t believe in suicide, so to speak, as a resolution for my depression due to the way that I felt and the way that I was treated by others following an unsuccessful attempt several years ago.

    However, I do experience suicidal ideation that I typically describe to professionals as being like intrusive thoughts. They’re there all the time, they pop up daily, and I can’t get them to stop coming up, but I’m not going to act on them. I’m not a danger to myself or others.


    I’ve been like this my entire life and I’ve tried over a dozen different medication combinations to no avail. My depression would cycle up and down with the seasons, but it was always very severe. A med change might help stabilize things for a few weeks, but no major resolution and it would all come tumbling down once winter arrived.

    3 weeks ago, I started esketamine therapy. I’ll keep the site posted on how I fare, but I feel like this is very different from previous interventions so I’m cautiously optimistic.


  • Not exactly. Back in the 80s, the refineries switched over to processing the cheap and “bad” stuff (heavy, sour) into the same products you could easily make with the expensive and “good” stuff (light, sweet). The cost of the “bad” crude is much lower than the domestically produced crude, but the process to turn it into gasoline is more “expensive” based on the infrastructure investment which has already been built.

    The US hasn’t built a new refinery in almost 50 years iirc. The lead time to reconfigure refineries to process domestically produced light sweet crude would involve shutting down the refineries and rebuilding over a period of about 5 years.

    The US isn’t willing to stop refining oil for half a decade, plus of course infrastructure projects in the US always take far longer and cost far more than initially anticipated, assuming they ever get completed.

    Most of the heavy, sour crude oil the US refines comes from Venezuela, the Gulf of Mexico, and Alberta.