Hello everyone! Don’t have a lot to say, finally got around to making the new mega.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
I haven’t posted in here before but today I just needed a place to speak my peace and I hope that is alright.
I am 37 years old. I was a Chef for 15 years. My family was poor and when my father stole the savings we had for college I attended Job Corp to get my culinary degree. Seeing that they have now been defunded kind of made me think about where I am and how I was so grateful for that opportunity even if my body has fallen apart.
I have Porphyria, COPD, Heart Failure, Antiphospholipid Syndrome, Lupus, and Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. Many of these conditions were unknown to me until my state finally expanded medicaid. Since then I have undergone alot of testing and seem to be collecting new diagnoses like Pokemon.
I had filed for Disability 2 years ago and have many conditions that should qualify me according to their own website. Instead NC has given me the run around for years, denied me twice, i filed again and have now been waiting a year with almost no contact from them despite constant calls and messaging and emails.
Last July I became homeless due to my savings running out and being unable to work. I used the last of my money on a car so that I wouldn’t be living on the street. I have been driving for Lyft to stay alive and afford my food, gas, and medicines. Constant doctor visits and hospitalizations have made it impossible to keep up with even those lately and my car is now falling apart as well. No AC with the Carolina summer coming up, a failing transmission, and god knows what else that is keeping me from passing inspection now and unable to renew my registration because of it. Even if I could afford it.
The system is literally killing me and Trump and the Republicans have made it somehow even more unforgiving. This month I even lost my food stamps as NC told me I didn’t work enough to qualify.
As i type this I sit here feeling what I think is the beginning of blood clots forming again in my lung and leg and I don’t know if I even want to go to the hospital again because I am not seeing a point.
I only keep going for my Partner, my Mother, and my little brother but I really don’t feel anything for me anymore. I am so tired and don’t see the end of this tunnel like I used to. All i see is the end of the month approaching while i am hospitalized and unable to work enough to pay for the impossible bills that have accrued from Disability constantly delaying my approval.
I see me, on the street because my car is unable to be registered, unable to work to afford my medicines, and still dying here either way.
Sorry for the downer comment but I needed somewhere to vent and I am sure many of you have seen similar struggles and I don’t want to feel so alone.
My heart goes out to you, comrade, and I hope despite everything that there’s a light at the end of your tunnel. I’m sorry it has been such a hard road for you to walk, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been / must be right now.
Just wanted to put it out there that you’re always welcome here, and I’m so sorry you’re being subjected to such unnecessary cruelty. I’m not sure what else to say, other than we’re here with you comrade.
Sorry I’ve been afk lately. As I said in a comment below I am ok with adding new mods and having volunteers do the megas. I don’t thnk the other still active mods would mind but I don’t wanna make that decision solo. I’m gonna try to message them in the mod chat about it.
For me, the reason I’m been pretty quiet on here lately is because I was trying to get my PSL chapter going, then got involved in an anarchist collective and we are working on a few Panthers inspired projects. Last week we spent a lot of time trying our best to provide food, water, medical aid and transportation to a local unhoused encampment since the city decided they wanted to put all the unhoused into a concentration camp. Trying to not get to into it, they used tax money to proved essentially tin cans for the homeless to live in but there are only spots for 50 people and we have well over 100. The encampment got torn down and now we don’t have any way to communicate with probably 75% of them and we are trying to figure out next steps. The city funded camp only has room for 50 but also does not let anyone stay there during the day, doesn’t allow safe use sites as a safety net, and also only allows a small amount of personal belonging. One couple we were helping had 3 dogs and they only let them take 2. In the end, they also arrested one of them over ancient charges from her past. Essentially the whole thing is an excuse for law enforcement to use violence against the unhoused.
We have a few other things we are working on but that sort of took center stage. ACAB. Humans deserve dignity. Housing and food is a human right and should not be treated as a commodity.
I’m back to be able to wear shoes comfortably at last. My surgical wounds have pretty much healed and aren’t painful any more. The black cloud is my bloody tendon, still inflamed. But at least I’m able to walk around outside for about 5 minutes a time, three times a day. Better than being trapped indoors permanently, but still frustrating. I am so desperate to be able to walk more. But it’s thanks to this community helping me get the things I needed that my surgeries are finally over and healed, and my landlady’s car is usable again and for that I couldn’t be more thankful.
gingerbrat has taken up the mantle of being a super-supporter of everyone, and that gives me peace ❤️❤️❤️
🫂 thank you for being the kind light that everyone needs
I’m sorry I’m not here to echo that kindness constantly, but all of you, please know that I do think of you and do wish endless blessings upon all of you ❤️
i wanna second loving gingerbrat’s hard work of constant positive support. i gots hyperempathy and just get so depressed seeing the suffering, especially the suffering imposed by this baby-grinder of a “healthcare” system.
Rather than be beaten down, she puts in that effort, takes on that load. Even when she’s not talking to me, i’m still lifted up, and just… just enormously grateful for her fortitude, grace, and love.
I wanna hug all of you (if you want to) all the time.
I get the hyperempathy and the overload feeling when it comes to the medical torture system. What I’ve realized over the years is that we all have the strength to carry on, despite the odds. But sometimes, you feel alone, so utterly, hopelessly alone and abandoned by people, love, and reason, it’s crushing your soul and body. I remember being in these situations so many times as a teen, I was desperate for someone to tell me they understood, or at the very least, didn’t blame me for feeling bad. I just wanted someone to listen and actually hear what I was feeling. And while I did not have anyone like that, I realized that I could try to be that person for someone somewhere else. So I’m trying, even if it’s just a little bit.
hug all of you (if you want)
yes. yes i love hugs thanks
It’s good to see you here again.
Oh you
You almost made me cry, love. I appreciate your kindness in turn, and I hope your life is filled with blessings and as much joy as possible. I know the world isn’t looking too bright, but I want my comrades to be happy.
