They don’t make cats like they used to. Used to have a cat named Smokey. For some reason my uncle would call it Smokey Brown. The cat wasn’t brown at all. It was solid gray except it had white tips on the ends of its paws, a tiny white chin patch, a white patch on its chest, and white tip of its tail. The inside of its ears was also white. Almost to the point that it might’ve been easier to call it an all white cat except it was grey in the middle, and on its head, and along its belly except for that white patch on its chest. Anyway, called that cat Chester at first after its chest patch but then we found out he was a she so we opted to alter the name and go with Smokey. Surprisingly Smokey didn’t seem to have a problem understanding the name change, almost like she hated the name Chester and was eager for something new and exciting and which truly captured her spirit or if not that at least her appearance. Meow.
My mom had a tuxedo cat named Sammy. I was 17 and a pothead. I came home from McDonalds. I had like 80 chicken nuggets in my bag. And Shrek was on tv as I smoked a bowl. So I thought it was funny to say “HEY!!! HEY DONKEY!!! DONKEY!!! HEY DONKEY!!!”
And my cat was like MEOW? So I said HEY! DONKEY!!! DONKEY!! HEY! HEY DONKEY DONKEY DONKEY!!!"
And she said “MEOW???”
So then years later I was in my 20s with my own tuxedo cat named Karmalee. And Karmalee liked when evil thing happened. So I said to her in a devil voice “HEY KARMALEE!!! I’M GOING TO CONJUR UP THE SPIRITS OF MALEBOLGIA TO SPREAD EVIL AND DARKNESS ACROSS THE LANDS AS WE SPILL THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT!!!”
And she went face down, ass up, tail straight up, and did that thing when cats are in heat where their tails wiggle and their meow is more like meheheheheheheow!!!
She did that.
My point is, I too can tell long winded, entertaining, but ultimately pointless stories about cats that go nowhere.
Would you like to hear about Karmalees frenemy Speed?
Damn, that’s crazy
You had me in the first half…
Is this pasta? If not, it is now!