busy coordinating some important left-wing stuff; i might be able to share this soon if things go well because it’ll be public record :)

  • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.org
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    26 days ago

    It’s very difficult to find motivation to do much of anything.

    An unexpected two-day hospital stay meant I couldn’t make the deadline to bill my time for the prior two weeks, forced a very unpleasant life change on me, and the next domino was a credit-card payment due last week. It used to be when I was a week past due, I could still access my remaining credit, but no more, and even scheduling a payment for next week couldn’t change that. So I have $11 for the next nine days without being in a food position that anticipated being down to so little. Guess it’s Chef Boyardee, bologna sandwiches and water for the next week!

    The election looms over everything, but for me in specific, whose job is mostly rewriting press releases about federal grants for green energy and tech, it’s pretty clear that I won’t have anything to cover come Jan. 20. Which means even when I have money, I need to continue acting as though I don’t. I’ve been on this fucking seesaw since just before covid, and while some swings have been my own choices, the vast majority have been circumstance.

    I don’t have the energy or will to go through yet another job search. And I can’t take a full-time position because wages will be garnished by creditors.

    • ErsatzCoalButter@beehaw.org
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      26 days ago

      Hey Pete, you have to hang in there, champion. You are literally a fact based local reporter in what is about to be confusing and bad times, my dude. You’re Peter Parker, basically, except you are doing it analog. Do you have a kofi account or something?

      • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.org
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        26 days ago

        I appreciate the sentiment, but I’ll be fine. I have some food and can still buy a few days’ worth before I switch over to meal-replacement powder for situations such as this.

        • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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          25 days ago

          Ima just throw this out there. But you should take the offer! You need real food. Take care of yourself before helping others! Don’t live off of powder if you don’t have to.

          Edit: sorry if this came off the wrong way, but I see so many good people struggling and it sucks

          • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.org
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            25 days ago

            If I didn’t have the powder, I’d consider it. But I’m not lacking for calories in storage while many others are, so I’m not comfortable taking charity. There may come a day; it’s not pride so much as not wanting to fuck with karma by accepting when not in dire need.

            • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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              25 days ago

              Hmm I get what you’re saying. That’s thoughtful of you. I hope that your situation improves soon and everything works out

              • ErsatzCoalButter@beehaw.org
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                25 days ago

                I appreciate that Pete has a contingency plan (I am known to switch over to colonial warfare rations when pressed for cash myself).

                However let’s also not pretend like reporters get paid enough by corpo employers so to me, Pete, passing you a fistful of ones on kofi is more akin to supporting FOSS or artists than any sort of “charity” or even mutual aid.

                • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.org
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                  23 days ago

                  That’s an interesting take that’ll take a bit to absorb. I’m used to not making the big bucks, which was made very clear as the price of admission at my college paper. However, the jobs were alleged to continue to exist. Reality didn’t get the memo.

                  The good news is, this particular emergent crisis has been solved by my mom, who didn’t like the idea that I did nothing for Thanksgiving. It’s enough to cover the car-insurance payment and stop the dominoes, plus a bit extra. I’m not going to be living extravagantly for the next week, but I won’t get down to powder.

                  I do appreciate everyone’s concern and the outpouring of support.

  • LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org
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    26 days ago

    We had to say goodbye to our cat, Maeko, this past Friday. Vet confirmed that her kidney function was dropping, and she had lost over half her body weight in the past two weeks. Meds might have stabilized her but wouldn’t have given her much more than another month, and at reduced quality. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since before Thursday, I keep waking up and reaching for her.

    She didn’t require sedation, so we got to say goodbye to the real her and not someone halfway gone. And she got to go in my lap, getting her belly rubbed just the way she liked and purring. But I’m still hurting, even though I’m glad she doesn’t hurt anymore.

    Just trying to focus on the positives, like how our eleven week old daughter rolled herself over this evening, has a huge smile for me all the time, and watches my every move when I’m in the room with her no matter what else is happening.

    • Wigglet@beehaw.org
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      25 days ago

      I’m so sorry to hear about Maeko 🫂 I hope the rest of your week is filled with giggles and smiles from your wee one! That is such a fun age 🥰

      • LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org
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        25 days ago

        Thank you 🫂.

        We were listening to the album Kerplunk today and she was kicking her knees to the beats, it’s definitely my kid 🤣

  • autumn (she/they)@beehaw.org
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    27 days ago

    hanging in there.

    got to start my 2025 planner (wonderland222) this week since it starts in december 2024 and sunday is december 1st. 😊

    headed to my partner’s parents’ new house for the holiday. just two nights, and then we’ll come back and do a friend hang with some folks in town.

    the instructor for my rally obedience class said i could bring loki (oldest, aussie) to class next week so i could video his final rally novice submission he needs for his title. it will also be echo’s third (and final) rally novice course! she was the only dog in class last night, so we got to do more off leash work and play between running the course, which she seemed to very much enjoy. i need to read up on the rules for AKC’s fetch titles, because i’m pretty sure she could get 'em with a bit more practice.

  • SteevyT@beehaw.org
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    27 days ago

    Got a part change request from the mold maker that looked really simple until I remembered how I built the part in CAD. Thought it would take days to fix. Change one number in the very first feature in the tree, redefine the only plane that broke, and somehow it just worksTM. It was like 10 minutes worth of work. It will probably take me twice that time to show the product manager to get him to sign off on the visual change it causes. And I probably have 15 minutes of fixing drawings.

    • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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      26 days ago

      That’s always the best feeling. I was building a messaging app once for a college project, and I couldn’t get it to work at all. Took it to my instructor after class, explained the issue, and explained all my ideas/attempts to fix it.

      He booted the application up on his machine, and it worked first try. Somehow, from that point on, it was working, and I still have no idea how. My only guess is that it was some kind of caching issue.

  • Last@reddthat.com
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    27 days ago

    It’s going pretty well so far. I’ve been working doubles, and that screwed up my sleep schedule a little bit, but I’m excited about a few things. I’ve been looking into machine learning, and the idea of training an AI to play video games seems fascinating to me. I know it’s been around for a while, but I’m just starting to get into it.

  • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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    25 days ago

    I’ve been wondering if the hobbies I’ve been nurturing over the past while are just a distraction from not being able to get ahead in life and that if I were doing better off stability wise would I pursue the same things?

    It’s kinda like a weird butterfly effect of “if I wasn’t struggling, would I be doing this still?” And then I question if I’m doing the right thing. Instead of investing time into hobbies or other superficial artistic endeavors, would I be better off by now if I had managed to invest the time into bettering myself, learning marketable skills, looking for better paying work etc?

    I feel like it might not be worth overthinking things either, though. Looking into the past probably isn’t helpful. But trying to look to the future has me questioning the past, lol.

  • primscha @beehaw.org
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    25 days ago

    I finally hit a small moment of freedom from school. For the first time in months I can breathe, just a bit, from burnout. Although there’s more to be done, the most important tasks vanished from my sight… for now. ;-;

    Did an internship interview and it went really well! I ended up talking to one interviewer afterwards for thirty minutes, and I got the vibe that I’m one of their better candidates. I’ll know if I got it by the next or following week.

    Cut off my friend who was an ‘ex.’ It was relieving. Words cannot describe the exasperation, confusion, and disappointment I felt about him throughout the whole relationship, including pre/post romantic period. Trying to clarify communication/boundaries/issues with him felt like constipated diarrhea and the Jackie Chan meme on repeat.

    I’ll be celebrating my Mom’s bday tomorrow which just so happens to land on Thanksgiving. Had Friendsgiving last week. ⌯’▾’⌯

  • Alice@beehaw.org
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    24 days ago

    Pretty bad. I work retail and the customers and bosses have been horrible.

    My dad asked me for a DNA test at Thanksgiving. I agreed because I wanted to vindicate mom but now I realize that’s a stupid idea because he’s just looking to prolong a decades-long argument with someone who wants nothing to do with him. It doesn’t matter what the outcome is, it’s a way to get his foot back in the door.

    Great holiday. Hope he’s dead before the next one.

    I’ve been totally adrift since I gave up being a digital artist, and people keep telling me to try Bluesky because it’s “less hateful” than Twitter. I keep getting followed by queerphobes and there’s been some implied threat of cyberstalking.

    My friends’ reactions basically amount to, “well it’s not all fun and games to stand up for queer people, you should have known this would happen, if we chickened out like you we’d have to stop being queer altogether” like I didn’t have to grow my hair out and stop binding to get people to leave me alone.

    I know I’m too old for this but sometimes I wish someone would be nice to me. I’m tired of being manipulated and talked down to and pushed aside like trash. I wish my friends or my family or someone would just be like, “I’m sorry, that sucks” instead of reminding me every five seconds that I suck.

  • SteevyT@beehaw.org
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    24 days ago

    For some crazy reason it took 3 days to perform a successful password change on my home WiFi network. Most of that time was spent trying to figure out why the hell Blink wouldn’t jump to the new network. Turns out Blink doesn’t like numbers in the SSID based on my fix.