You nailed it. My first girlfriend was black. My mom freaked out because she thought I was going to give her “mixed” grandbabies. I was 10. I’ve tried over the years, and I’ve seen improvement, but she’s 70 this year and I’m running out of effort. She’s going to die miserable and hateful and the world will be better when she’s gone.
I sort of have the opposite issue. My mother, who has always been very welcoming to my gay friends and my brother’s gay friends (the best men at our weddings were both gay and she seemed to be cool with them the entire time) has given me little subtle signals over the years that she doesn’t like it that my daughter is queer.
And recently she told me that if my daughter just goes into the closet she’s never been in and “obeys the rules” she will be fine. That was before the election. Today she found out that we’re taking advantage of my dual citizenship and emigrating to the UK. She’s really pissed off about it. She’s said some incredibly stupid and offensive things in the emails we had back and forth, not just about living in the UK, but about the U.S.:
I know several lesbians, including [HOUSEMATE’S DAUGHTER]. None are thinking of moving out of the US at this point. We are having Thanksgiving here with some of [HOUSEMATE’S DAUGHTER]'s gay and lesbian friends. [MY DAUGHTER] is welcome to come. They are all successful people with good jobs and doing well. None are scared of Trump because of their sexual orientation. (They may well be scared for other reasons.)
I think it is too early to emigrate before seeing what will happen. By the time anyone gets around to going after gay people, after the 11 million migrants, [MY DAUGHTER] will probably be 18.
Transgender minors are in trouble. But before gay people are, watch for laws repealing gay marriage. That’s when to get scared, maybe. But herding millions into conversion therapy would be quite a job.
This was my favorite part though:
Also, Europe and the UK are having problems with antisemitism (not to mention anti-gay bias.). How will you prepare [MY DAUGHTER] for that? And yourself? And what if England turns fascist, like other European countries?
Like… mom, we’ve been dealing with antisemitism here in Indiana my whole fucking life. The temple got firebombed when I was a kid, remember? Remember Charlottesville and the “Jews will not replace us” chants? All the times antisemitic literature got distributed around town and no one got caught doing it? Fuck, you remember Benjamin Smith who came into town looking for Jews but settled for a poor Korean student?
And what if England turns fascist? Where do you think you’re living? What do you think just happened?
I think it was around the time of the Lord of the Rings movies, and my grandma had a similar freak out when I mentioned my crush on Elijah Wood. She said, “I don’t want any black grandbabies!” She just assumed he was black and that her young grandchild somehow had any chance of making babies with a much older movie star. Joke’s on her though, I’m not giving her any grandbabies.
That’s rough fam, I’m sorry it’s like that for you.
I lost my mom a few years back, she wasn’t hateful, just an alcoholic… so I understand the sentiment. My life and my sister’s both got a lot easier in a lot of ways. Which ofc I still feel kinda guilty over.
Mixed babies… Like who the fuck cares? God I hate it so much because it’s just DUMB. Like morally and ethically horrible too obviously but it just doesn’t logically make sense either. A stagnant gene pool isn’t helping anyone Mildred.
It’s that good ol’ southern baptist love, you know.
As a white cis male I’ve had it and will continue to have it much easier than a lot of other people, just by virtue of genetics. I don’t see it as something I’ve had to deal with, more something that has shown be how to be better than I could have been.
Im Maori, wife white AF - gets sunburn walking infront of a bright TV level white. If anyone has a problem with our 3 “mixed” kids in front of her, let’s just say she will hold nothing back.
You nailed it. My first girlfriend was black. My mom freaked out because she thought I was going to give her “mixed” grandbabies. I was 10. I’ve tried over the years, and I’ve seen improvement, but she’s 70 this year and I’m running out of effort. She’s going to die miserable and hateful and the world will be better when she’s gone.
I sort of have the opposite issue. My mother, who has always been very welcoming to my gay friends and my brother’s gay friends (the best men at our weddings were both gay and she seemed to be cool with them the entire time) has given me little subtle signals over the years that she doesn’t like it that my daughter is queer.
And recently she told me that if my daughter just goes into the closet she’s never been in and “obeys the rules” she will be fine. That was before the election. Today she found out that we’re taking advantage of my dual citizenship and emigrating to the UK. She’s really pissed off about it. She’s said some incredibly stupid and offensive things in the emails we had back and forth, not just about living in the UK, but about the U.S.:
This was my favorite part though:
Like… mom, we’ve been dealing with antisemitism here in Indiana my whole fucking life. The temple got firebombed when I was a kid, remember? Remember Charlottesville and the “Jews will not replace us” chants? All the times antisemitic literature got distributed around town and no one got caught doing it? Fuck, you remember Benjamin Smith who came into town looking for Jews but settled for a poor Korean student?
And what if England turns fascist? Where do you think you’re living? What do you think just happened?
Brother, is that you?!
Depends. You got two beautiful little kids, a racist homophobe mother and an alcoholic father?
I think it was around the time of the Lord of the Rings movies, and my grandma had a similar freak out when I mentioned my crush on Elijah Wood. She said, “I don’t want any black grandbabies!” She just assumed he was black and that her young grandchild somehow had any chance of making babies with a much older movie star. Joke’s on her though, I’m not giving her any grandbabies.
That’s rough fam, I’m sorry it’s like that for you.
I lost my mom a few years back, she wasn’t hateful, just an alcoholic… so I understand the sentiment. My life and my sister’s both got a lot easier in a lot of ways. Which ofc I still feel kinda guilty over.
I dunno what I’m saying other than I sympathize 💜
I appreciate it it, but don’t sweat it. I moved 3000 miles away for a reason, and my life has been infinitely better since :)
Well that’s good to hear :) hope it keeps getting better for you, friend
Mixed babies… Like who the fuck cares? God I hate it so much because it’s just DUMB. Like morally and ethically horrible too obviously but it just doesn’t logically make sense either. A stagnant gene pool isn’t helping anyone Mildred.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that
Rascits?
It’s that good ol’ southern baptist love, you know.
As a white cis male I’ve had it and will continue to have it much easier than a lot of other people, just by virtue of genetics. I don’t see it as something I’ve had to deal with, more something that has shown be how to be better than I could have been.
Look, I respect she’s your mum but what the fuck.
Im Maori, wife white AF - gets sunburn walking infront of a bright TV level white. If anyone has a problem with our 3 “mixed” kids in front of her, let’s just say she will hold nothing back.
I appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t need to show her respect. Respect is earned, and she hasn’t.
Dont worry, respect was for you.